Saving Marina

Yes it is Gotcha anniversary for Marina! Happy Bachman Birthday 1 year!

2011-11-16T07:14:00.005-05:00

I am posting Mel Dellanos' rendition of our events with a comment by me at the end. It is a reflection of "that day". I can tell you since I have experienced both child birth and paper birth, that the emotions are incredibly similar, and the pains that accompany each individual event are no worse for one than the other. I love Marina as much as I love Evan, and that is more than I can put into words...

TUESDAY, NOVEMBER 15, 2011

What were you doing on Tuesday, November 16th, 2010??
Last year, November 16th was a Tuesday. Most people wouldn’t know that, or really care much because it was just another day but I will never ever forget it. I had barely slept the night before because I knew what that day meant. Cathy, Tully, & I had a lot of things to do, we had to pick up the passports, we had to finish packing, and cleaning the apartment (the landlady already hated us so we wanted to make sure not to leave too much of a mess for her to reinforce that opinion LOL!)… then we each had to go to the orphanages and pick up our children, forever changing their lives and all that they knew.

Last year, this day, Tuesday, was Gotcha Day. The day that Marina Hope Bachman & Timothy Danil DeLlanos would leave the orphanage forever in the arms of their Mommas.

The plan that day was for us to go to our regular morning visits. I decided not to go though because it would be just me and Timothy from that day on for the rest of our trip, and because I wanted him to have a little more time with his groupa/friends although he didn’t really know it at the time, and I wonder how much he remembers anyway. LOL I took the time to rest, pack, and finish up last minute things. We all had lunch at the apartment, and at 1 pm Roman picked us up and we headed for the Passport office. Tully & Evan stayed at the apartment.

When we got to the passport office, we had to wait a few minutes. Roman was our translator/facilitator for this errand since Marina (our actual facilitator) was in a different city with another family for their court date. We had been given some papers to hand over in exchange for the children’s passports. We gave them the requested papers, and continued to wait. We were taken to a tiny office and told to sit. We sat. There were three ladies there, one of them was speaking pretty excitedly to Roman, complete with some hand gestures and scary facial expressions. Cathy whispered that something was wrong. She just knew they decided to keep Marina (the child) and weren’t going to give her the passport. Of course, this was sarcasm, and totally said in jest. Nevertheless, we could tell something was wrong. Roman was a pale color, and was talking to the lady in a pleading tone. Then, our suspicions were confirmed when he called Marina and had HER talk to the passport lady. Of course, Cathy and I were sitting there in the dark, and Roman finally (out of the corner of his mouth(as if they would understand him! Hehe)) said, the name on Marina Bachman’s paper from the orphanage was wrong. Before they would give her passport over, it needed to be redone. This would mean going all the way back across town, hoping that the right person was available to get the paper redone, and coming back to the passport office all within about a 30 minute window so we wouldn’t miss the 5pm train which we already had tickets bought for. Now, anyone who’s been to Ukraine knows that such a feat is NOT gonna happen!! Traffic & timing are two things that are NUTS there! So, all we could do is pray. In the meantime, Marina was working her magic. Promising that she would be back to the city that night and would get the paperwork snafu taken care of ASAP if they would just PLEASE give us the passports. I’m not sure what she said to the lady (and I don’t think I wanna know!) but she reluctantly hung up the phone and proceeded with the “check out” process so we could take the passports. When they finally handed them over, Roman ushered us out quickly joking that we needed to hurry before they changed their minds! Lol

Once we were safely back in the car and headed back to the other side of town, Cathy and I finally breathed again, and we also noticed a HUGE vibrant rainbow in the sky… God’s Promise. Very appropriate for us at that moment, and one more thing to make the day memorable. We were so relieved that we were laughing, and crying. LOL

We went back to the apartment where we loaded up two vehicles and parted ways temporarily. My driver took me to Timothy’s baby house, to get Timothy, and Roman took the Bachmans to get Marina from her orphanage.
I’ll never forget the emotions, and the relief I felt that afternoon as I walked into the baby house for the last time… we did what needed to be done, and had a couple of tearful good byes with nannies and the head nurse (Tatiana) and walked back through the big grey metal gate for the last time. The weather was misty and cold, and it was cloudy. We headed to the train station and to freedom for a sweet little boy who had NO idea what was in store for him!!

When I think about that day, it’s still so fresh, I can remember the feelings, the sights, the smells… I remember the panic of thinking that the Bachmans might not get to leave with me & Timothy, the relief when we got the passports, saying goodbye to Roman, my very own security rabbit, and the train ride to Kiev, Nico’s face when he saw/remembered all the bags we had… getting to the apartment and being in awe of how great it was… the kids’ first baths… it was a long day, but one that I will never forget. It was my first day of being Timothy’s caretaker.

It was our Gotcha Day. A day that changed the course of our lives forever. Happy Gotcha Day to our sweet little son. We love you more and more each day!!

And My response:
Ah, I must add that when we parted ways for you to go get Timothy, and we went to Marina across the street from our apartment, there she was, sitting in a little chair in her "room". She looked bored as the nanny brushed her hair and brushed her hair...and brushed her hair. Then Marina gave up her orphanage clothes even the underwear and put on the new dress and stockings and fancy panties and coat and scarf and little red beret, and you could see she felt beautiful. We took a hundred photos since it was the first time we had actually all seen her room and all her friends were sitting around a table having cookies and milk. Then we met the staff at the front door, and choked back tears at the bonds that we formed in such a short time, bonded by the process of handing over a life that truth be told they never intended to watch over for so long:) But I could see they loved her and wished her well. We got in the car, Roman at the wheel, and headed to the train station with no extra moments to spare. Of course we were behind a wreck, and little Marina began to cry...sob, and she just fell apart. We were so sad for her! But Roman spoke sweetly and quietly for about 5 minutes to her, all in Russian, and she stopped crying. I will always wonder about what he told her, but I am not sure he could have told me in english. Marina never cried like that again so I assume she believed him and we somehow proved him true to his words. He really is a security rabbit! Journeying with Mel made all the difference as we were able to help each other and combine our funds to obtain one amazing apartment! Never mind how awesome it is to share the rebirth of a child with someone who has such a heart for going the distance too. I remember the sheer glee at getting to cut the kids free in the giant bathtub and Marina taking about 6 baths a day because she could. I remember thinking if Timothy turned off the light or the tv one more time....but I had no way to finish the sentence with recourse, because he had already done it 3 more times by the middle of my thoughts! Like a precious little puppy, God made Timothy too cute to have mean thoughts about:) I can never forget the friend I found in Mel, the friends I love in Ukraine, and the lives of Timothy and Marina who are now on vastly different paths than they were pointed. Where would they be now if we had not gone? I for one, would still have a giant hole in my heart. It is still broken but heals more every time I hear Marina laugh. And the cracks are now like stained glass, they let the light shine through in an interesting pattern. Thank you Mel for posting our memories. You did an amazing job. Probably because you are an amazing person. Love, Cathy

Nearly a year has gone by....

2011-11-02T06:07:00.010-04:00

and I can hardly believe the changes in Marina, and Evan too for that matter. Just yesterday Marina and Evan were headed to the car pool line to get in my car and Marina was just full of herself! Evan looked totally dejected and on the edge of tears...this has all been brought about because Marina lost yet another tooth yesterday! Evan's are loose, but Marina does not say a word about her teeth being loose and before you know it, she has two missing from the front and another that will come out this week on the bottom. This is devastation for a 6 year old boy for some reason. It is now his obsession so I feel sure he will wiggle his own tooth out this week as well. I am simply thankful that apple season came early and halloween is over...these kids love apples and are starting to look like little jack o lanterns! I have noticed Marina being much less feisty in the last couple of weeks. Less spitting, less lashing out...and FULL of hugs and love. She signs she loves me when she heads to the swingset out the back door. Evan has taught her this and I am grateful. I sit here typing and I am full of LOVE for these two amazing children who tenderize my heart just looking at them. I used to keep a verse in my bathroom taped to the mirror about how sorrow would be replaced by joy. I actually got it from a church mission group who came to the hospital during Cay's leukemia battle and church missionaries brought things to strangers who were there (maybe toiletries or something like that) and anyhow this handwritten verse was tucked in whatever it was that I got. I found it in my things after we left the hospital and Cay had used another portal to exit...so I taped it to my mirror in the bathroom and I cannot tell you how many times I mocked that verse and begged God to make it happen at the same time. Well, it has happened. Yes I see Caylyn when I look at Marina...and had I known Marina existed, I would have seen her when I looked at Cay. They are terribly similar, and vastly different. Yes, joy has replaced my sorrow. There are things I am sure of now that have become rock solid within. I am sure Caylyn is safe and a mighty force still being used by God. I am sure Marina is safe and a mighty force being used by God...and I am seeing adoption take root in my son's heart as a true concern and I really hope it will shape how he changes the world as well, because I know he is going to. We all do in some way every single day.
So we have been busy as always. Evan is a tiger cub scout and Marina would not miss a scout meeting if the sky were falling...the kids are doing well in school too. We went to San Juan on a quick 3 day trip last week when the kids had an extra day off (groupon coupons rock!)The leaves had started to change and the nights were cold and we had not been to the beach as a family all year, so we hopped on a plane and enjoyed simply building castles and jumping waves. I could not tell you much about the country other than the water is perfect and the hotel was 5 minutes from the airport. Both kids had runny noses when we left, and the ocean was the remedy that healed most of that! I feel sure it was the least expensive trip we have ever gone on. It is because of this perk that I love my job at USAir! Marina attended her first Buddy walk and took to the front of the line for photos (shocking!!). We have attended Rachels Run and spoken to families about reaching out to make a difference.
I personally have battled and battled with the fact that our USCIS immigration approval will expire in December for adopting a second child from Ukraine and it is killing me inside that we are leaving someone behind. Yes, I can start over but WHY? Tully has said not right now and it is not sitting well with me at all. I have such a restlessness about this. But it seems like it will not be anything I can fix at this juncture in time. I cannot extend our time without another home study, and that window is closing fast since it has to go through DSS again. I would appreciate prayers for peace over this. I am working in other ways though to make a difference as opportunities arise. I have been part of a growing orphan ministry at our church and we will officially launch this soon which is very exciting! I hope to host a shoe drive for orphans pretty soon. I went to Jim DeMints conference on orphans and adoption and it was totally amazing. I found a post yesterday from another mom and I will add it here: I think it is similar to how I feel about urgency. If it does not show up which is often the case with blogger for some reason, go to nogreaterjoymom.com and spend a minute with words from Adeye--she is really amazing. So I am one but there are more. Maybe God will channel some of this mad hatter feeling in me about the obvious fact that every month even here in South Carolina 60 children will age out of the foster system without a permanent family they can count on...what do those kids do for holidays and hope and strength now that the state has graduated them to the street? And you wonder why the jails are full of youth? Were YOU ready to live life on your own at 18? Why has the church turned over the command to care for orphans and widows to the state and when will we reclaim this as our right and responsibility? Honestly I promise this is not where I thought this post was headed...but these are things that we have to stop turning our eyes away from. 147 million orphans worldwide is an epidemic. It is in our back yard as well as across the oceans where we do not let our minds wander for long because we want to scamper back to where it is safe here in America and we do not treat our orphans poorly, do we? Do we? And yet you know we do when you read the paper or see the news. It has to change. I am one...be we are more.
And so it has been a year since we first met Marina, and when you go back to the first pictures of Marina and compare them to now, can you see what being a member of a family who loves her has done? Does not every child deserve to be loved? I cannot forget the alternative for her had we not gone. That alternative is a reality and a majority of what is happening to little children as our lives go on and we do not think about it or consider it because it is too sad or too difficult. But it is still real whether we admit it to ourselves or not.

Once our eyes are opened we cannot pretend we do not know what to do. Not everyone can adopt, but everyone can help. I hope that during Orphan awareness month you will be not just more aware, but will find a way to help be the voice of a child. I put this as a starting point just to make it easy for you. I know for a fact that these grants DO get handed to a family who will travel to bring a child home. Every dollar helps. It made it all possible for us. http://reecesrainbow.org/angeltreekids

I know the world is full of needs. I just can't think of one more important than helping a child who has no voice. When I think of the amount of money we spend here in America to dress our dogs for halloween I am utterly heart broken. This does not set well with me. No it is not my money to redistribute and delegate for the least of these... but it says alot about how callous our hearts have become in this world and our hearts need to be broken for these lost children...every single one of them. Together we can make a difference. I appreciate everyone who helped us bring Marina home. Instead of her sitting in an institution drugged and drooling, she is running in the surf and learning in a school surrounded by people who love her where she is a best friend to little girls named Mary, Nancy and Candace. She is a sister to Evan and a daughter to us. She is a cousin to Cole, Laurel, Leela Mae, CJ Mayfield and Forest, as well as those in Colorado she has not met yet. She is a grand-daughter who is doted on. She shares a joy that is indescribably rich about how her life is going to turn out now. That is a polar opposite to where she would be today had we not moved when God made a way. She had only a week before she would have been transferred to the mental institution, her original destiny. God is mighty, He can make a way for anyone to save a child from hopelessness. I am humbled and honored that He made a difference for Marina through us. Adding her to this family is the reason my sorrow has turned to joy as she joins hands with Evan walking down the hall at school and adds chaos and laughter as well as tears and teaching to our lives...she has been a gift from God to us, each of us. And we are a gift to her. There are more waiting for the gift of a family and the teaching of Love. Orphan awareness, the time to be aware is now.

Getting back to normal, whatever that is!

2011-10-03T06:02:00.002-04:00

I think I am nearing the end of the trail with this computer...it really does sound like a 72 volkswagon in need of a major overhaul. When it does die the silence could be deafening! I am unable to load any photos up at this time because my computer is too full. It has served me well, and is somewhere between 5 and 6 years old. For an HP with 1Gb hard drive that is probably a miracle. But enough with the eulogy for my computer...I just want you to know why I cannot load any photos of Marina and her lost front tooth:)

Yes being 6 has its' hazards and one of those is to naturally lose teeth. Of course Evan was devastated that Marina lost her tooth first because that is one of those first grade battle scars that bodes famously well with children, particularly boys. Finally he conceded she was lucky. I could not figure out why brushing her teeth for the last two weeks was a battle in itself until we were at Sam's club on saturday getting Evan's glasses ironed back into their original(ish) shape, and I almost fainted when Marina's front tooth was sideways in her mouth. If you aren't ready for that sort of thing it really can grab ya! Anyhow on the way home I looked over at her and she was a mess, blood everywhere but grinning her little jack o lantern smile, front tooth gone. We finally found it behind the booster seat she was sitting on. I really want to find a way to post this photo so I will figure out something. It is so stinkin' cute!!

Evan has slowly returned to eating again, but lost some weight when Marina went into the hospital. He cried for two weeks with a stomach ache each time we were planning on eating, and Dr. Gramps diagnosed it as nerves. I seriously wonder if it was post traumatic stress brought on by Marina being in the hospital but we talked our way through everything for the last couple of weeks and we are all doing better. We have a family camp invitation this next weekend at Camp Courage sponsored by the hospital where Caylyn had been, it is a grief counseling group of us that will get together. I am more and more grateful for that group each time we can get together with them. It amazes me what a long process grief management can really be, though it shouldn't amaze me at all. Something that life altering redesigns who you are when you have to let go of a child or anyone you love. That term isn't really right either, as we never let go. I ran into two amazing people from our past this past week, both survivors of childhood cancer. I was so happy to see them both, but I wonder what sort of reminder I am for them. I hope it is to remind them to LOVE like crazy for the moments we have together. I never meant to indicate in my last post that my faith had waivered when I was so upset about Marina in the hospital but I am human and while God has the universe spinning just right, sometimes I teeter when I am feeling off balance. Then He gently sets me up again. But I know who holds my own tomorrow in the palm of His hand, and I know who loves my kids more than I do. More than anything for me, I love knowing these things in my heart. There is peace in this "knowing".

The impact of Caylyn and now Marina is moving me forward in other ways. I am happy to say I am committed to help with the new orphan ministry at our church. It is really a neat group of folks all in various walks with the project. Some are adopting, some are praying, and some have already adopted. All have the goal of bringing this epidemic to the attention of the church members. I think we have been complacent for too long on many subjects and now that I realize the plight of the orphan is so devastating on so many levels I am really moved to share the cause through whatever outlet I am able. Often it turns out to be a one on one at the grocery store or wherever I am able to stand still (usually with Marina in tow) for more than 2 minutes. She is a great show and tell kind of kid, especially when full blown proud of something like losing a tooth:) She cornered several of the elderly in Sam's when they were too slow in running away just to give them a load of Russian and then poke her tongue through the new hole in her teeth lineup:) That's a great segue into where she came from and how "you can have one of these neat kids too since I didn't get the last one!"

Marina loves school more than just about anything. Her first VERY clear english sentence is "MAMA! THE BUS IS HERE!!!" Her delivery is anything but subtle and it would not surprise me to find that the neighbors count on her more than their rooster or alarm clock.It is certainly dependable to the routine of getting out the door at 5:45 am. Evan is doing really super in school but is struggling a little bit with math and therefore in his first grade drama, makes him say he hates school and that he wants to quit. His face was priceless when I told him he had about 11 more years to go and then some college before we could talk about that. I remember vividly being shocked by the same piece of information in the second grade nearly a hundred years ago. He asked me how many days 11 years was. I was smart enough to figure that out ahead of time and snap out the answer, telling him I learned that in school just so one day I could answer him. Mama's are often mean like that, having the answer once in a while.

Well, fall is definitely here. It is now in the low 40's this weekend through the night time hours. We went from a/c to heat without so much as a weekend to open the windows and let in the autumn pollen. I bought new coats for the kids this past week. I am reminded to ask for survival prayers for next weekend as we are slated to go camping with the boy scouts for the weekend of the 21st and I remember camping in the cold a couple of other times in my life. I am sad to think they do not have individual plugs for the camp sights where we are going next weekend...I would drag our electric blanket with us. I am still in awe that it kept us alive on our previous smarty pants idea to camp in November a few years ago with Evan's best buddies, a trip he still talks about and one that is worth telling forever. It was a blast! We will take Marina on her first camp out as well as it is a family camping trip that will take place at Walnut Grove Plantation. It is less than two miles from this house, so we have options in the middle of the night at least! My original plan was to utilize my free airfare and go somewhere groovy with the kids, like St. Thomas or something (I also have friends in the hotel industry or we would just be able to use the airfare to see what airports look like and that would be about it). But Evan chose the camping trip. I love that boy!

So that's about it for us for now. I imagine I will be on a new computer that can easily manage my photo volume next time I update.(hoping the computer fairy will leave one under my pillow?!?!) The ipad is a pain in the hiney without a usb port as part of the design. I think I will wrap it up and give it to Evan one of these days. He uses that more than I can anyway. Ha, so does Marina come to think of it. She is pretty sharp on that thing and can open at least every game on there. Life continues to be fun and full and busy for us. I am working less these days as most vacations have been used up already at the airport, which is fine by me. I like staying home and cleaning this messy house every day. I like picking the kids up from school. I like making dinner without using the window of a drive through. Who knew I was meant to be a mom like June Cleaver? I bet no one...

Paka for now, Cathy

Flashback...

2011-09-10T18:21:00.003-04:00

Remember in my last post how I "mentioned" I was going to Hawaii? Well I actually did go, and it was utterly amazing. I climbed muddy rainforest trails, saw the sun rise above the clouds at 10,000 feet on top of a volcano, drove the road to Hana, snorkeled, rested, ate out and ate in, re-met my cousin whom I had last seen when he was 6 months old (he's a grown up now:) took a helicopter ride around two islands some of which are not possible to navigate on foot, etc etc...I could go on and on because it was easily the most beautiful place in the world. I will throw in the fact that 85* and relatively no humidity adds tremendously to my opinion of its beauty. I would post pictures but my computer is completely full and nowhere to upload them to the hard drive so they are trapped in the camera for the moment, right next to the San Francisco ones with the kids..Anyhow as I languished in the sun, Marina was nearly 4 thousand miles away quietly developing a bladder infection, probably from incessant bubble baths that she LOVES so much. The symptoms started out being that she kept wetting her pants, but never complained. So there was the thought process that maybe she was upset that I had left. Finally it was clear that an antibiotic and trip to the doctor was in order. By the time I got home, got back into a routine and life began to rotate around in a circle again, the holiday weekend came this past weekend and it was evident from her high fever that this had all traveled into her kidneys and she was pretty sick. So sick that she was admitted to the hospital on wednesday afternoon this past week. This was one of those really hard journeys if you have to know the truth. It has never crossed my mind that we would be beside this child in any hospital anywhere. But there we were, the same size bed, the same angle on the tv, the same little cars that go by down below, when the world is not the same. The IV pump made the same beep and Marina had the same scared look part of the time she was there. She even had the same hospital pattern little kid gown that is open in the back. Tully went through most of her admission work and her iv placement but it was me who walked into the hospital room after work and realized that her vein had blown and the medicine had infiltrated her hand, blowing it up huge and getting cut off with the hospital band that HAD been a bracelet but was now damming up everything in her purple fat little fingers and HUGE hand. I probably over reacted like a mama bear but it didn't have much longer to go before that was going to turn into the primary problem rather than the secondary....foregoing all my memories of how to win friends and influence the medical staff, I walked in and began releasing that tension of reality meets history...Honestly the hospital was like crossing a forbidden line in the sand. That was then and this is now, and never the two shall meet. But over a simple bladder infection gone amuck, the past and present collided on what I thought was either holy ground or the doorstep to hell. It totally freaked me out. I have not slept for 4 days unless you count minutes rather than hours as sleep. Marina carried the weight of the world in this new environment. She braved 4 separate iv attempts and finally gave up and took the shot in the leg to stop the e-coli that was causing her so much pain. Marina was funny at times and sweet all the time and charming in between those times. Who might that remind me of? It was as if she had been schooled by the champ of all hospital visitors. I will stop here but the similarities between going to the hospital with Marina and going to the hospital with Caylyn were way too similar. I took the night shift and Tully and Evan headed home, Evan bawling because he NEVER gets to stay in the hospital.
We were released yesterday late afternoon and headed home singing our little heads off in the car. Leaving a hospital on a beautiful sunny day just has that effect I suppose especially since Marina was on the edge of too happy since she was released. I was tired and looking forward to going to bed early but Marina's fever was heading back up the Fahrenheit pole again. We fell into bed way later than I meant to and she was tired and restless. At two a.m. she woke up and started to cry a little. Then she began to cry alot. She was crying out something that sounded like Adonai over and over, and she was getting louder and louder, to the point of sobbing for nearly an hour.(Adonai is one of the Jewish names for God but I can't recall the significance of that particular name right now, though I do not think Marina speaks Hebrew you really never know with these kids). My heart was breaking and I was afraid she was still sick. Finally she put her little hands under her chin and balled them up and shook them saying in sign, that she was scared. Then she said SCARED!!! I scooped her so close, hugging her and pleaded with her not to be afraid. I do not know if she was afraid due to a dream or a memory of somewhere she has been before, or just the hospital in general, and I will likely never know. We walked to the living room and the dog was all around her checking on her...so Marina smiled at Kiki and made Kiki lay on the couch with her, and the scared went away. That was at 3:30 am. At 4:30 am the alarm went off for me to go to work. Its a wonder they did not send me home for being a total doofus all day but I got through work and all I know is that I will probably never get any better at the hospital visit thing, even though everyone was amazing at Mary Black Hospital and treated us over the top like royalty. I am going to artificially remove the grey hair from my root system now which grew probably an inch since tuesday as Evan asked 5000 questions in the last 48 hours regarding the difference of where Marina was in the hospital and the hospital where you go to die. Tully too, probably needs a bit of therapy as well, though as usual his hair looks fine. There is no other way to make this clear, it was very very scary, and I do Not want to go through ANY hospital stuff with any of my kids ever again. I love them entirely too much. Entirely. Usually writing in this blog makes me feel better, but maybe I will need a little more time to go past this. Thanks for letting me cyber-yak....and Marina is wonderful today. Evan is great too. God is gracious even when He tests us and I believe everything happens for a reason. I am thankful that He is real and ultimately in control of the whole shebang.

Please pray for everyone effected by 9-11, then and now. I was 6 months pregnant with Caylyn when that happened. Where were you? How has it changed us all? How much has changed in ten years. How very very much.

What the heck happened to summer???

2011-08-04T16:24:00.010-04:00

My last post is heading into summer plans, and this one seems to be heading right back out again! Seriously, Marina and Evan start school in 2 weeks!! I can't imagine one child in the south even listens to their teacher before Labor day so why do we waste all those tax payer dollars???

It has been a wonderful summer except I truly admit I had to work too much. If it had not been for Mayfield and Holli and Forest (cousins, and Mayfield's girl friend) I am sure the kids would have had hardly any fun at all...but as it stands, they were busy as a one armed paper hanger! Those teenagers took those kids on more field trips and outings and swimming and to the icee stand up the road.....and to movies even! The fun hardly stopped. All the while I was working and slaving in the hot sun hoisting those heavy bags on to airplanes (why do suitcases weigh more in the summertime?? I am not kidding). When it was my turn to get in on the fun I booked a long weekend trip to San Francisco. Seriously, that is one of the coolest places to take kids and I had bought lots of tickets to fun things last christmas off of ebay so the trip was manageable financially (even restaurant coupons from restaurant.com!) The zoo is one of the best I have ever seen, small but extremely impressive!that in itself was an adventure that should be a kids book! Evan dropped his "lucky hat" into the gorilla compound... and the mama gorilla eventually threw it back out so her baby would stop licking all over it. Yes the lucky hat has been spit on by a baby gorilla, is that Lucky or what??? We hiked around in the redwood forest (Muir Woods), and then tried to justify playing in the ocean when it was 64* and raining, though they were not in the ocean exactly until Marina tripped over a large rock and literally fell in face first, then the race was on to see if Evan could get away with it too...Fisherman's wharf had a good marine aquarium (the touch pool with the little stingrays pretty much turned into a wading pool for Marina--she looked like I had dunked her in by her heels she was so soaking wet when we finally pried her away!) and then before we know it we ran out of time...I took the kids on a weekend that Tully could not go, so we invited Forest so I wouldn't be outnumbered. It was an extremely smart move on my part and he seemed to love the trip as well. It was kinda fun calling him up the night before we left and inviting him to California...he thought I was kidding...I told him to get a passport because who knew where we would go next time!!

Marina starts this next year of school in a newly implemented program called a trainable classroom, and we are happily familiar with the process as that is what Caylyn experienced in school and it served her beautifully. This will give Marina a great foundation of colors and numbers and lots of songs and books along the way to help with English and learning the alphabet. I am thrilled for her to be in this class of 5-7 year olds and Evan and Marina will now be in the same school together! He is happy about that as well and so am I. I feel like now I can let them ride the bus together, at least to see how it works out. Gas is too high to drive them and pick them up everyday anymore.

As you can see in the photos Marina has learned to swim...although you can't tell it is her because she is wearing Evan's bathing trunks...she seems to think they fit her better than a regular girl's bathing suit. I do agree the legs don't jam up her fanny so much but I can't seem to convince her she needs the top too...and furthermore it makes Evan insane that she raids his clothing dresser. He never has clean shorts he complains! I have been a bit disappointed because the girl has a load of precious clothes that she addresses with the term EW or YUCK. Sigh...guess those will be heading to consignment this fall. Or over to my sister's where her little girl is a diva in waiting.

Ok I am off to find some things for dinner, we are in for the day I think so if the kids ever wake up from a nap I better be ready for some hungry little bears! PAKA for now!

PS I am heading out to Hawaii with my parents and Mayfield and Holli in late August. Their reward for helping with the kids all summer included a)getting paid, and b) getting a buddy pass to somewhere, thank heaven they chose Hawaii. I invited myself to go with them...and no one said NO. I am really looking forward to some down time after this fast paced sweaty hot summer. Maui here we come!! Tully, enjoy those children:)

PS We just got back from PA this morning from a hard week of playing Tom Sawyer with Daddy/Tully. I will make that an individual posting when I am able to get hold of some really great photos from my MIL. That trip was really groovy and the kids had a blast doing some of the greatest summer things of all times, including tubing down a river and rope swinging into the creek as well as a 60 foot home made slip n slide...yep, it was all things Tom Sawyer, except we did not have to paint any fences. Since the camera ended up in the creek and Marina has stuck various things in my computer plugs and outlets, you will have to wait on the photos of that adventure, there is no way to upload them from my little memory card.

The Graduates and summer plans....

2011-06-01T12:31:00.006-04:00

As I mentioned in my previous post, both kids are now considered first graders. The process varied greatly as Evan got a wonderful party and a cap and gown and a pomp and circumstance tune to march into the sanctuary to...and Marina got an IEP for next year and an end of school party for summer!! Most of the difference can be attributed to sending a child to private school I think, but this is the long version of why there is only graduation photos of Evan...

Marina and Evan started their summer officially by attending Kickin' kids Karate summer day camp and they are overwhelmed with the program of fun that is in place there! I truly think every town needs THIS kickin' kids to come in and show 'em how it is done! The kids are so happy and exhausted when I pick them up!! They go on a field trip nearly every day, whether it is to the bowling alley around the corner or to the library for summer exploration of reading, these kids are on the go! There will be swim trips and water parks, and indoor jump parks, etc. Not bragging here, well yes I am, but this was the find of the summer! They also have karate class 2 or 3 times a week. Somewhere I uploaded some photos from my phone but they may have gone into cyper space, as I cannot find them on line. I promise to take photos of them in their outfits (I am SURE Evan will school me in the proper name for that when he gets home today)and I can't wait to hear all about their day.

Last night was Marina's sleep study to measure her need for having her tonsils taken out. She was incredibly good and promptly fell over asleep, right on cue, when the last wire was glued to her hair...oh was that ever fun to dislodge this morning at 6 am! The test was conducted overnight and she flopped from one end of that twin bed to another! That poor tech must have come in to reattach Marina's wire leads at least 10 times last night. I did take Marina to my mom's this morning by 7 am to play beauty shop and all was near normal when we headed back out to go to summer camp an hour later. Evan had his first spend the night party and stayed with his cousin last night. He loved it and was really proud that he did not cry even one time. I was delighted as well! Now if I could convince myself that I have indeed actually had coffee today... I must have failed my own sleep study coz it feels like I missed several needed hours.

It has been near a hundred degrees every day this week with no end in sight. I will work 3 full days friday saturday and sunday at the airport. I try to say I love my job at least several times an hour as I am at work, because I do, but it is hard to remember with that much sweat drowning my contact lenses and burning my eyes. People do not pack less stuff in the summer, though logically they should! Tully works at a mill that caters to families tubing down the river on the weekends he does not come home, and I think we are due a ride ourselves real soon! I am sort of jealous I think:)

Life continues on a normal path which is always a bonus for us and we do not take it for granted ever. Marina is talking in sentences but she mixes it in with her version of Russian, so one really has to pay attention to hear her sneak in things like I like that, or brush my teeth, etc. The words are clear and sound alot like us, which puts her at the distinct disadvantage of being southern/russian. To that I can only say "Bless her heart!" She has come a long way in her 6 months of being one of us and we love her more each day. She still spits at me but hardly would even consider doing that to anyone else so she must love me the most:) I am definitely her GO TO Girl, and can heal all wounds with a can of aloe and a big hug and kiss, whether I see the boo boo or not.

We have signed up for swim lessons starting next week and they go for two weeks, 4 nights a week. Both kids will attend. Marina LOVES the water and can swim like a fish now that she figures out that she floats with her floater bathing suit and a life jacket on top of that. Heck she couldn't sink if she tried!! She is small enough for the suit, but whoever designed the suit did not consider how much "Marina" there can be packed in a small body, and she is heavy like mercury so she tends to sink just under her mouth line--not a working plan if you keep your mouth open all the time like she does. I LOVE this photo of her by the pool, she is soooo HOLLYWOOD!! She has also established that she is the biggest fan of Curious George and can dance like a maniac when the "song" comes on...life simply rages through this child.

I remember that I fought so hard and was delayed over and over again when I went through the battle of her paperwork. The spiritual warfare was nearly unbearable and I was nearly despondent alot of days. I remember praying for her safety and protection every single night of our delays, for a year and a half. I fought as hard for Marina as I fought for Caylyn and you who know me, know I gave everything I had to doing what we could to keep Caylyn with us. But I know that Caylyn is no more than a breath away from me and I am sure she is in a beautiful place and she is totally healed now...and I know that every one of those prayers to keep Marina safe resulted in her being transferred to a good orphanage that cared for her and gave her the foundation for being the Marina we love so much now. I believe that the Marina THEY acquired was a shell shocked broken little child who did not even speak at 4 and a half and had a fraction of the personality that was discovered lurking within this beautiful child. I can never say thank you enough to those who were part of those answered prayers to build this little powerhouse of joy.

I pray that more children are discovered and prayed for and brought home this year than ever before...and so far Reece's Rainbow is blowing away its collective records up to now. No child deserves to wither away in an ill funded life draining institution, No child. Those that are left there waiting, are on my heart today as I watched Marina bounce happily through the door of Kickin' kids and a group of older girls all went "Awwww, she's so CUUUTE!" and threw their arms around her. How different Marina's life turned out...how utterly different. She is so incredibly loved. I do believe Jesus loves the children so much, and it is our job to be those arms, until He comes back and uses them Himself. This story is one that makes a difference...and I am not writing it, I am only cast in the roll of me by One who is so much Greater and Awesome. I am utterly grateful for the hearts he has rescued from the shards of broken-ness 3 years ago. That would include this whole family, in addition to Marina. The definition of a miracle is when God does something so amazing that we simply cannot do ourselves. Marina being here and being her, fits that definition. We are grateful beyond words...

Who loves the dentis? Who loves the water park??

2011-05-12T11:53:00.000-04:00

Seriously, Marina had an absolute blast at the dentist. Whodathunkit? She has 5 cavities but that is not very much damage in my opinion considering the number of times she probably has not brushed her teeth since she got them. Her bottom two teeth are her permanent ones and she is right on target so said the magic dentist. They will fill her teeth with a composit that has NO METALS in it ( I still and always will link Caylyn's mouthful of metal dental work to her leukemia-God can tell me if I am wrong when I see Him). Anyhow we will exercise caution with all the lessons we have learned along the way, our working parenting manual coupled with prayers morning noon and night. That's pretty much all I've got:)

We also found this really cool water park called Rays splash zone that the kids took me to in Charlotte NC for our mother's day blowout weekend. They had a total complete blast and it is a cool place--we got tickets from living social for half price and I am glad we got another set waiting in the wings for more fun sometime in the future. The next day (Mother's day) Evan wanted to go back...HA! 30 dollars in gas is not a donation I want to make twice in a weekend much less twice in 6 months! That was only half a tank...but I digress...anyhow we ended up at big lots and opted for the small splash zone pool. Now if I could convince Marina that bathing suits are not optional (she did wear one at Rays). I am grateful we live in the country. Tully is coming home this weekend and will surprise the kids tomorrow as we pick them up together from school in the afternoon. At 6:45 this morning Marina wanted to call daddy so I let her (He sure was surprised!) She signed and jabbered away about play and school, and then made this huge arch with her arm like COME ON! and said DADDY< HOME NOW! I think he went to hang up and pack a bag!

I took them to Monkey Joes blow up air zone indoor fun place yesterday because they were so good at the dentist, and had some energy to run out...and after playing for about ten minutes Marina found a lady who would let Marina play with the lady's little 7 month old baby which Marina did for nearly an hour. That little girl is destined to work in child care...she was so amazing with that baby! She is gentle and sweet and very in tune to a smile that has been returned to her...she about goes into orbit. The love and joy that expands in Marina almost daily should be a poster ad for adoption I am not kidding. I love when she crawls up in my lap and just lays her head down, or RUNS to greet her brother with huge hugs when we pick him up from school... she is feisty and bossy but she is also the most gentle soul. A fine and beautiful combination!

She and Evan will attend the local karate school day camp this summer, and they love that they will go to summer school together. ME TOO! Kickin' kids has a ton of things planned for the summer, and they will have way more fun than me working out on that hot tarmac at the airport:) By the way, both Marina and Evan will graduate kindergarten this year--and both will be in the first grade next year:) How cool is that? Marina will have to work very hard to keep her status in her appropriate grade but I have seen her determination...it shames mine, and mine is fierce:) Well I have bragged enough for the day, and am feeling all sappy about how much I love my kids, all of them, including the one I can't hug right now. Life turned out a little more amazing than I was expecting three years ago...from black and bottomless to filled with hope and flowers and laughter. There are still hollow moments but I do not let them in to steal anything from us, or from remembering Caylyn. I have to push sometimes to make that happen, but sorrow is not where I want my energy to go when there is so much left to do on this planet. And Caylyn deserves better than sorrow anyway, she is the fortunate one:)Yeah, being a mom rocks the planet in my book. And God keeps his promises. He turned my sorrow to joy. Psalm 126:5

All Amercian Girl:)

2011-05-03T10:05:00.007-04:00

It has been too long since my last entry but boy, have we been busy! We have gone to Pennsylvania twice by plane, and planted a good sized garden. Marina and Evan have lots of end of year programs, and getting ready to attend Kickin' Kids summer day camp where those folks have got every single activity in the whole of South Carolina on their calendar! These two kiddos are going to have a blast this summer! Easter was so neat, and Marina figured out to hunt for the colored eggs hidden in the grass...candy is a motivator for nearly everyone in my family and she is no exception to that rule! She had an open house day where we could visit during her art class and the teacher was so kind to even let Evan participate in the project. So that is why Evan is in Marina's class photo...he goes to school an hour after she does so we had that time slot open for him to be with me.
Tully and I celebrated our 11th year anniversary this past friday night and we all went to a baseball game in Lancaster PA with Gramma Sue. It was sure cold compared to our beautiful southern spring, so we could not stay for the whole game, but Marina and Evan had hot dogs and popcorn and lemonade and cheered each time anyone hit the ball ( no team affiliation necessary:). This particular ball park had an amazing playground as well, so we finished up the night with a round of that big fun. The next day we met with a few of Tully's old buddies who brought kids to gramma sue's house and the best fun of all began to unravel! The kids who came were so cool, Wyatt is 5 and his sister Cara is 6 (nearly 7). Evan and Wyatt played in the creek and caught toads and hoped to catch minnows in the trap that they checked 68 times, and Cara and Marina wandered around hand in hand, chasing a stray cat and generally just happy in the sunshine. Finished up the day with a camp fire and the sun went down on tired children worn out from the tree swing on the hill. Huck Finn surely never had such a great day!
Marina and Evan are wonderful travelers and I am so grateful for that!

Coming up we have a general medical check up, and a trip to the dentist with both kids...dreading that day! (may 11th). Marina is learning her version of English in leaps and bounds. Ice cream is now at the top of the list, followed by "stop it mommy!" That probably is from putting the ice cream back in the freezer before the half gallon is either melted or empty...
She always gets her point across and is a master signer, whether it is ASL correct or not, it is so applicable to the subject matter that one is never left guessing what her point is. She has stopped calling us mama and dada and now calls us mommy and daddy, which is really sweet. That was something she just did on her own, nothing we asked of her. Our goal this month is for Evan and Marina to work on manners towards each other, they have gotten too much like brother and sister, now we have to back it up a bit and see if we can be more cordial like friends. It is off to a much better start than I was anticipating, which goes to show, make the standards high!

Evan asked me the other day why we picked Marina instead of any other kid and honestly, I hope I give him the best answer there is....because we simply let God pick her for us. She is a perfect fit for this family, and I could never take any credit for that. Life is normal, like I had always dreamed it would be...of course our sort of Normal is all over the page and not within the lines, which is just how we like it. I am looking forward to planning a long weekend heading to the beach sometime soon, either the west coast or maybe Puerto Rico. (I love free airfare.) After that, I will have to buckle down and work like crazy through the summer on all those vacation bids that I am to cover. Lots of coworkers say I will lose weight, that is a real bonus:) But something tells me its' going to be hot out there! My parents already opened their pool this year so that might have to be my stop on the way home from work alot of days...

Happy spring, summer on the horizon. Life is great! Simply amazingly great...

Lost in translation...

2011-03-15T09:28:00.004-04:00

Oh Ms. Marina is coming along so nicely:) She utilizes what she knows, and continues as if it is the gospel...

Marina what are you doing with the Disney Magic wand toy? Why did you break the star off? Oh, it is now an airport scanner...well, who knew you never saw a magic wand in your life? You sure saw a lot of airport scanners though, huh?

Marina, why are you mashing your tongue down with my fingernail file? Oh, that is not a tongue depressor, it just looks the same...sort of. never had your nails done? Only been to the doctor, I see.

Um, Marina, you don't wear contact lenses...

Yes, Marina, you have a boo boo on your knee...why are you looking at me like that? It is called a band aid. Yes, it is pretty weird. Yes it hurts when you jerk it back off. Never saw a band aid before huh?

Marina, that is not a microphone, it is a water hose. Marina, that is not a microphone, that is a part of the badminton net...ok, yes it is. If you can sing that loud with that in your hand, it must be a microphone. I love your song, no one has one quite like you. Carry on Ms. Broadway.

Now I am on the receiving end of the flash cards. Mama?? Whatzis? multiply that question by 97 times...

She passes ladies at church and throws up her short fingered little hands and says HEY!, followed by "BYE!" all in 3 seconds. So friendly:) Out of 40 people in the airline line, she only hugged one man. Turns out he was the father of two adopted boys from Russia...could she have known this somehow?

Marina saw a picture of me holding Caylyn when Cay was maybe 7 months old and she got so excited! "Mama, look! You, Me!" Oh I wish I had been able to hold you as a baby Marina. But I had to wait til you were nearly 6. But if you can erase all that happened along the way and the time without a mama, and you THINK I held you as a baby, that is almost as good. Only remember the good things from before I came....and let go of the things that make you scream at your dolls and beat them with spatulas...and all the behaviors that make me wonder, what was your life like before I came? And what life is like for those in places that do not look like your good school, but maybe more like a baby house that had no patience? I can tell from your confidence that someone was good to you, and I can tell from your backed in the corner stormy dark eyed scared looks, that you encountered those who were not good to you as well. In time you will learn to trust enough to let your defenses down, and you may rest in my arms at night, knowing that no one will hurt you and that your life will be the best it can be, because we love you and work hard to make sure you know. Thank you for coming to our world and keeping us busy with such quality work...loving you and teaching you about all the things that matter. Love is a verb. We will show you. And I am sure that you will show us too, beautiful girl.

Today marks the big day that changed our world...

2011-03-08T11:20:00.003-05:00

You might think that since this blog is about Marina (mostly) that today's post would be about her...and in a way it ends up there. But today is March 8th. And three years ago at 5:16 in the afternoon, Caylyn left. I think if the calendar was out of my sight I would still be able to tell you that today is different. The scar tears open alot on this day, every year so far. Because it still hurts so deeply in my heart for me not to be able to hold that little hand and look into her golden flecked eyes that always danced when she caught me looking at her with I love you in my eyes. In no short order, Caylyn changed the world. Not just my world. But alot of worlds around us...This is my nephew's college application summary on why he wants to go to Wofford to study pre-med. I had no idea how much his world had been changed.

"I didn’t expect to get this call. Not so soon. Caylyn had been sick for a while now, but it didn’t seem like this could be happening. She was
barely old enough to be in the first grade, let alone to be in a hospital bed, fighting with a respirator for every breath she took. I was
fourteen at the time, carefree and innocent, and wasn’t completely sure I was actually witnessing what I was witnessing. I had been at a
sleepover with a few of my friends the previous night, but then I got the call. It was seven o’clock and I wasn’t fully awake until I heard the
words, “Caylyn” and “come now.” I rushed over, pants halfway on, shirt wadded in hand, and I could feel the tension in the car on the way
to the hospital. “Caylyn’s special, you know that,” Mom kept repeating to me and my younger brother. I didn’t really know what was so
different about her. I didn’t think she was that different. Sure, she may have slurred her words, she may not have been able to verbalize
what she was thinking, and she had Down’s syndrome, but I didn’t think that made her different from any of the rest of my cousins. I didn’t
see her as a child with a disability, I saw her as family, as someone I would look after and help in whatever way I could.
The leukemia had obviously begun to win its battle with Caylyn. She began to lose her hair with the chemotherapy, and she gained a lot of
weight and retained a lot of water. I spent every spare moment with her I could—playing the games we used to play, putting on my “happy
face” to make her giggle. I guess I just didn’t understand the severity of the situation, because on that day, on the way to the hospital, Mom
seemed to think it was Caylyn’s last. Standing in a room with about ten of my family members, everyone was praying and begging for
healing for this precious baby girl. Caylyn’s dad, Uncle Tully, seemed not to care that I saw him cry for the first time. This was his
princess, his first born.
We huddled around her bed, wondering which minute would be the minute, and then we watched her go. Peace in her eyes, love in our
hearts, we stood by and allowed the doctor to turn off the respirator. That was the hardest thing I ever had to do—I almost threw myself
onto the machine, taking it upon myself to plug it back in and bring my baby cousin back to life. But there wouldn’t be any more games.
There wouldn’t be any more birthdays, more Christmases, with the child I knew as my friend.
I could barely sit through her “Celebration of Life” service. Yes, I know she’s in a better place, but at the time I couldn’t think of any place
better than right beside me. I can’t wait to see her again—to hold her in my arms, to hear her little voice, to see her as a true princess,
crown and everything, in front of a glorious king. But until that day comes, I’ll wait, educate anyone who asks about her life, and search for
a cure for her cause of death."

My sister in law went back to school and graduated on a different path than her original direction as well. She is in research for similar discoveries of a cure.

My mother in law works as an aid to SN children in school and home, making sure the parents have resources to better the world for their own children.

I have gotten so many emails over the years that we have had the privilege of being Caylyn's front line parents...that Cay made a difference to someone or some decision that someone was facing. I am pretty sure my mom has not gotten that many letters about me (that were positive about my impact on the world). Cay was and is a remarkable child...
she loved like Jesus, never cared about her hair, and skipped across the waters of heaven, leaving death with its mouth open. It may have taken her from me, but it released her into a freedom that she will never be burdened with this life again. You can't beat that for a long term sense of the way life should be. She is so close to the original Eden now I just know it. But I miss her very much. Today is hard. Because she loved like Jesus...and that is why Marina lives here. Because you can't watch someone love like Jesus, and not be affected in a life changing way. But I know in my heart that she is only a breath away, just a thin veil hangs between me and her, and it was made possible because Jesus is real and did exactly what He set out to do...not to condemn us but to bring us life abundant and set us free. Our life on earth is a battle ground, but life in heaven, well that is an entirely different playing field. And I know that I know that I know, it is real. Not out of a sense of desperation, but a sense of knowing that can't be disputed. And that has changed my life both here, and there. I am thankful God thought so highly of us to place her in our care. I Love you always, my first born. Mom

Spring fever...

2011-03-01T11:27:00.004-05:00

I think I have the best kids in the world. You might think you do, but I have to insist that these are the best for me...of course I would add my princess Caylyn to the mix if it were possible because she would make a remarkable sister to these two wild monkeys, but life is the way it is because of her, so it is not possible to have these two paths converge...Evan has been on his "Why did God..." quest this week. Why did God make earth and not just make heaven and skip this part? Seriously. He is 5 going on 80. When did God make God? Why did God make us all different? Why did God make us speak different languages so we have to try so hard to understand some kids? It has been an endless week for these questions, and I do not know what the instigation was? Some sort of epiphany to see if this mama knows anything at all? (so far, not so much.) He has been delightful to talk with. And oh Ms. Marina! Could there be a more loving child? She is full of joy and songs and so much laughter, topped off with tight hugs and wet sticky kisses. I am including a video of her discovering what a garden hose could potentially be designed for...ukrainian idol style:) Evan could not stand the concert so it ends abruptly when he gets hold of her microphone...but he did apologize and give it back. Evan has learned to ride a two wheeler this past week and also has a loose tooth. This is the week that a little boy takes giant steps towards being a young boy. Makes my heart hurt somehow.

The kids were sick with strep last week and Evan graced me with sharing his kindergarten stomach virus, how kind! This week Tully has gone to Pennsylvania to work on renovating an old mill into an apartment building...we are very grateful for this work that he has, and not sure what we would have done had the offer not come along. The kids miss daddy alot and they tell me that in their own ways....Evan mentions it often, and Marina just hollers nonstop for him through dinner:) We utilize the computer camera but have not had great luck getting it just right, so will work on that some more tonight. The flowers are blooming like crazy, the weather is gorgeous, almost 80* yesterday and topped off with a hard spring storm. Our garden seeds are starting to sprout, and all of this reminds me that our promises from God are in fact, true to His heart and being fulfilled in the grand scheme of things. We are so fortunate to be where we are and who we are, and I am grateful for all that we have become by His hand. We of course are never too near to where we should be, but that does not keep me from enjoying various parts of the journey:) It is the part of life that matters so much, this journey we each find ourselves on.

I won't write too much today as I am trying to manage a house cleaning miracle this am but I am crazy about the weather and it does wonders when winter takes its place at your back, then the rear view mirror...

Tomorrow is dr. Suess' birthday and I want to share a sweet letter from Marina's big cousin Mayfield when he was faced with the task of submitting a letter along the lines of "Oh the Places you'll go" for a college scholarship...ya just gotta love stuff like this!

Dearest Marina,
I’m glad to be writing this letter to you. I’ve waited for years and your parents have, too. You’re a smart little girl with two special brown eyes. You can do what you dream, no matter your size. You may have flown from Ukraine to be here with us now, but we never gave up; not never, no how. And in the same way that we brought you back, just know that you’re loved—in love you don’t lack. You may think you’re different from the kids that you know, but hold your head high—let your confidence show. And one day when you’re grown and are ready to fly, we’ll watch you flourish—and I’ll tell you why. You’re kind and so sweet and compassionate too--don’t get discouraged we don’t look like you. And though other kids may not act the same way, we’ll always be with you; in our hearts you’ll stay. So don’t think of yourself as a child with no home; you have a new family, and a house of your own.

Love Always,

Cousin Mayfield

Marina, the new Ms. Maybelline!

2011-02-12T11:12:00.003-05:00

This is just the cutest photo session! Marina was being "quiet" so Tully went in search of her...and she was in the bathroom (probably) being Mini- me. I interject here with the thought that i can draw a straighter line than she can with a lipliner but not by much haha! She had a delightful school valentines party at school friday, just judging by the amount of "stuff" stuck to her leggings and dress! Her sense of humor has blossomed this week and Tully and I were talking last night about how she laughs so much now! She and I usually have several hours to kill each day and we manage to get down right silly so much of the time! But she thinks a ton of things are funny on their own, without me sacrificing dignity to bring her humor! I love that so much about her! What an amazing spirit she has and we are grateful that she is a part of our family. Still creating kitchen masterpieces and that is the best recipe for getting dinner cooked--plop her on the kitchen corner cabinet and let her butter some bread. We have a lot of buttered bread these days for dinner but that simple act allows us to actually have a hot meal most nights. She gets a little over busy when she is hungry and wants to hurry the meal along!
She has been restless at night and wakes up easy and sometimes cries or talks in her sleep. It is time for me to get the courage to haul her (and Evan too) to the dentist soon. I wanted her to like us before we made her mad by introducing that field trip. She got a shot for her MMR update the other day and she did amazingly well. Very brave I might add! Evan came home with a sort of virus yesterday and he evidently was wiped out when he got home, which annoyed Marina that her playmate was down for the count. She did let him sleep for the duration of the day and he is much better today. I am posting a link to a post that was in an english based paper in Ukraine...I want to reiterate that the conditions in this post were not at all what we encountered and just goes to show that as in all countries, ours included, conditions can vary greatly. Please pray for the children of these lesser cared for institutions as they desperately need to be in a family. All children need a family... please see the link as it is posted in my comment section by wordgardener (me). The blogger link never works for some reason...

Happy Valentines Day and may love abound where you are...

A life in the day of the Bachmans... or is it a day in the life?

2011-02-06T19:33:00.010-05:00

Holy smokes, It seems like every time I want to update this blog, the day is over and I am snoring away, or Marina has slapped my computer closed and I can't find the cord to update the photos...well today the perfect storm allowed for me to find the ways and means to comply with my goal. The kids are sacked out from dragging around Biltmore House and Gardens for the day, and really, for goodness sakes, Marina was in a stroller all day so what in the world makes her so tired??? Tully and I were the ones hauling her up and down castle stairs...and I wonder aloud, if they had all the amenities they did, what were they thinking, only putting in one elevator? Despite my light grumbling here, we had a great day, and had gone with my parents with whom we really enjoyed the day and a fabulous lunch. Honestly I don't think the kids could have been better. Tully was awed by the place as well...

So much has been going on I hardly know where to start...Marina was invited to her first birthday party of Evan's friend Bodey, and therefore inadvertently had her first Mcdonalds:) When all the other kids had run off to play, Marina was still savoring her cheeseburger at the table! She had a blast to say the least. She has also started going to kids church with Evan and being in his class. He is stingy about letting anyone else help with her papers and such and that makes my heart happy. Even though he is the first to torment her at home with sibling aggravations, he is intent on making sure she has all that she needs when he is the only family member around. She has really taken to following what the other kids do and plays the games and makes up her version of the songs without skipping a beat.

We went to the circus last week, and I learned that even though we got amazing seats, opening night does not come early and the kids were toast by the time half time rolled around so we lied and told them it was over. They were fine with that, and I am sure the man behind us and his date were probably glad that we were leaving since Marina was holding their hands behind us most of the time...I say their hands, since they were holding hands and Marina decided they needed one more for their grip so she reached back and locked hands. They were graceful about it and it was funny, but it was really out of character for her. Wonder what the message was that they took home? I assume she made an impact on them and I know a kid with a message of love when I see one. She had it going on that night...

Our battle these days has been with her wanting/wriggling out of her car seat. We end up sitting by the side of the road in some empty parking lot until she has complied with the rules. I have a nice Britax that was given to us, and that has been our saving grace, but Marina howls when she is restrained, and a car seat seems to meet that dilemma. We are working through that and only time will give us the victory of "belt on" that we seek.

We have made great strides with Signing Times and Marina learns new signs weekly. Evan has now taken to utilizing Marina's most frequent russian words and if we knew what they actually meant it would make me feel better about his use. He speaks like her, she tries to emulate him...no one is speaking English, you see where this is going:) Thank goodness school is giving speech lessons or we would be on an endless treadmill. Now to figure out how to get Evan into real live Russian classes for 5 year olds...

I know that Marina turned 6 on Dec. 29th but that kid had been getting presents since we showed up on the scene of her life...so we waited to officially have a kid party until this past weekend. It was a total blast! We were able to have her party for 8 kids at Hearts of Clay where the kids all got to paint a ceramic figure and then we served spaghetti and meatballs dinner (in my trusty bean pot, a must have ya'll! Just ask me how to get one!) and also decorated our own cupcakes after the ceramics were completed. It was a good party and Marina's cousins were there, along with the beautiful Maya and Maria, and Toni and Darla. Toni is Marina's new best friend at school. Ironically Toni was a little girl that Evan played air hockey with at Greenville memorial hospital when Caylyn was sick a few years ago. Yeah, small world, I know. I remembered her beautiful brown eyes and cleopatra hair cut. She is a doll and loves Marina. How odd that they are now in the same class room holding hands walking down the hall? Somehow I imagine God is not surprised by this sweet bonus.

Hmm....what else? Ah, I started work at Family Connection at the end of January. I will be a liaison to families of small children with DS (0-3 years old) and operate as a support parent for them. I am very pleased to be a part of that journey and look forward to my first new family contact coming tomorrow. Two weekends ago I also got to speak to a lovely seniors class from First Baptist, about our journey. I loved having the opportunity and my only regret was that the person who had asked if I could come and speak, was not there. Peggy, we will have to plot another location to do this, and invite you to that one! But I appreciate the opportunity to have shared the lives of my two girls. I was humbly reminded of how sweet and difficult it all had been up to this point, and how I could never tell that story if there had been no God who loved me enough to have given it to me.

We will hopefully be a part of the new Orphan ministry (adoption ministry) that is being build at church right now. With more christians than orphans, the question therefore remains...why are there orphans? Anyhow I will wait to talk about that ministry until I am sure of all that will transpire. When God's hand moves, I imagine it will be large.

Tomorrow is the first day that Marina will be scheduled at school when it opens so she will be dropped off at 7:45 and then Evan goes to school 45 minutes later. I bet she will be tired but will love it I am sure. Tonight is the superbowl and Tully is quietly watching that...quietly because the OTHER Pennsylvania team is in it and not his beloved Eagles...the kids are probably down for the night and I am off to take a nice hot shower and read a grown up book...and get ready for that early exodus in the morning.
Enjoy the new family photos...she is a honey although a feisty one, and we could not imagine life without her.
PS one more Marina story...the other day we came home from school and she told me she was hungry...not unusual. I told her wait a minute which also was not unusual. But about 5 minutes later, I smell something yummy in the kitchen so I go to check, and i find that she has dragged a chair to the stovetop, turned on the burner, melted butter in the skillet and cracked two eggs in to fry, breaking only one of the yolks...and not too many shells either! Honestly! Special needs my Eyeball! She learned to even only turn the dial on the stove to 4! She watches and learns everything. Scary stuff my friends! No more wait a minutes for her:) And never underestimate the power of a hungry kid to fend for themselves. Yes we spend lots of time in the kitchen but I did not know the kinds of notes she had been taking. The photos of us in the kitchen were of us making cookies, I was too astounded to grab a photo of the eggs..and then she ate em up and they were GONE!

Time flies and so do we:)

2011-01-17T14:03:00.005-05:00

I can honestly say we can fly, and not just by the seat of our pants, though that is still our primary mode of transportation! I passed my ramp class this past snowy week in Philadelphia with 100% total score! Tomorrow is my first day on the job and my clothes are already laid out:) I was really worried that Marina would be sad that I was gone for 4 days so I spent an inordinate amount of time setting up the webcam before I left (my computer is so old it did not have one built in so I used my old one that was found in a well organized drawer from the days of mom and sister extreme home makeover). I am still finding myself in speechless appreciation! Anyhow, Ms. Marina did just fine and made sure that Tully knew that the tall brown coffee mug was indeed still mine, even if I was not here to utilize it.
Marina is becoming more verbal as the days go by. I heard her say Dada, EAT! today for lunch time and when I got back from Philly she could holler LAY DOWN very clearly and loudly. I had to laugh...knowing those were the first words Tully imported to her with authority. She signs and says I love you (long style, pointing at her eye first). I know she knows what this means because she told Evan this with much joy on her face to be able to let him know and she poked him hard in the chest when she got to "YOU", smiling proudly:) They are settling into a much better routine and they find many more ways to play together than a couple weeks ago when the cain and able phase of sibling joy was in full effect. Marina has learned to cry for things and we thank Evan for that deeply...on that note I feel like we ruined her haha! She does have quite a full rounded flow of emotions and I am actually very happy about that. I was afraid she could not cry when she first came, and that is a scary place to be I think. Time out is still our best weapon against being spit at, and it comes with less frequency now.
School is not exactly what I want it to be for Marina at this point and i have been furiously angling in on some better ideas for Marina. It is ok, but not satisfactory for her, and especially not for me with the crazy schedule she is on. She is there for three whole hours, where she eats lunch and takes a nap...heck we could do that at home and save the gas money! Anyhow when I figure this out better, I will surely post the results of my melted gray matter over this debacle. The teacher is super nice and the school is great, but I do not think it is in Marina's best interest to continue on this learning path.
Tully is still struggling to find work, as the job he was hired for has been put on infinite hold (as in I don't think they were awarded the contract). There are some resets coming up in the near future (next week) that he will take on but January has been tough. Prayers would be in order here if I can ask for them. No work really affects the spirit after a while.
The snow has been amazing this winter as it has already hit the south twice and it is barely mid January! We were given a gorgeous snow suit for Marina from a sweet friend and Marina LOVES that thing. Heck I would too if I were slinging myself down hills of snow! It has been tough finding warm gloves that fit a kid with Down syndrome who has very short little fingers but managed to get some thinsulate mittens on ebay last week, and they finally arrived after the snow. That is what happens in the south with snow and ice, everything screeches to a halt, even snow glove delivery.
I have to add here that Marina who went through BOXES of kleenex when she first arrived has really managed to stay healthy since coming home. Not sure how, since keeping sox on her is virtually impossible and she sneaks out the back door to bring cats in and throw cats out all the time! The kids are asleep napping as I type this long over due mundane update and I am always grateful for that small golden window of quiet time. Marina has adjusted beautifully but if I had a wish list, I wish she was not the first one up every day (sometimes that time of the morning hardly qualifies as DAY time). And if that is my big wish, I would say we are in a very good place right now. It feels safe and warm in our home for the moment, and I think it has taken a long time to get there. Tomorrow would have been Caylyn's 9th birthday and we intend to celebrate it with dinner with a group of parents who happen to be meeting for grief of losing their child...the hospital has begun this group and I just think it would be a fine time to go to a meeting, kids in tow. Marina has a way of keeping the life of Caylyn front and center, as they were cut from the same dough I think...always coming up with a plan to add some gray twinge to the hair follicles. And there is the sense of humor and twinkle in the eyes...even though they are quite different the similarity is an echo of a fine life we lost along the way and struggle to regain. This is where God steps up and gives us extra grace to do crazy things like adopt an unknown child from 6700 miles away, with confidence. God is not a crutch for tough times, He is the heart that keeps beating when our hearts want to quit. I am grateful I know Him in mine because I would not be Marina's mama without Him. And life with her is just better, even when it is harder.
I am excited to post our occasional trips that we will be allowed to journey on this year. While you don't get wealthy working for the airlines, you do fly free domestically:) Gramma Sue, Look out! And Alex, don't think we don't know how to find our way to California...Fuzzy faced Uncle Brad in Boston, Friends in Texas and Erie PA, and of course, family in Colorado...and a certain prayer warrior in Lexington Ky who has a cabin by a creek. Yes, this is gonna be a fine year.

New Year, New Life, New directions....

2011-01-02T09:05:00.013-05:00

What a crazy week or two! I really should start all posts out with that sentence come to think of it....maybe I do. But with the week of Christmas and New Years, and Marina's birthday on the 29th, life is nothing short of a permanent party! Tully's mom Sue and his brother Alex came to celebrate the week between Christmas and New years and we had a great time! Uncle Alex is a VERY good uncle and was amazing with the kids. Marina fell for him right away! And of course Gramma Sue has the patience and love that only a gramma can have, building snow forts and then taking the brunt of the snow balls all in good fun:) And yes, it snowed in the south on Christmas day:) Marina loves presents, and by now I am sure she just thinks she gets them every week since she got them when she arrived, she got them from us at the orphanage, she got them for Christmas and she got them for her birthday. We have probably ruined her expectations by now. But then I think about how it turns out she loves snow more than presents. She was so funny when she looked out the window, covering her mouth in sheer disbelief and squealing like I have not heard from her until that point!
This next year is already upon us and lots of changes to our regular routines. You all can stop laughing now, I KNOW we are anything but regular routine kind of people:) Tully goes back to work as a retail merchandiser on wednesday, Marina starts school on Tuesday and by Sunday I go to Philadelphia to train for USAir here in Greenville Spartanburg. I will be gone for 5 days so if you are the praying sort, please put Tully at the top of the list. Marina and Evan both are complete mama's kids:) Of course I worry that Marina will think I left her but we will talk and try to set up the computer to see each other while I am gone. I am also applying for a job with Family Connections here in Spartanburg to work with families whose new or 3 and under kiddos are diagnosed with Down syndrome to make sure they realize resources and support are there for them. Both jobs are part time so it should be no conflict. I have worked for them before so I have a high hope for being hired.

Listed near the top of the photos is little Kathleen--I am committing to helping find a family for Kathleen who is in Ukraine. She is so cute! And her destiny is currently aimed at a very disheartening direction, where transfer will be extremely detrimental to her life. No child should have that facing them for any reason. I know what a difference a family can make, and I know what a difference a child like this can make in a family--it is nothing short of awesome. I will be hosting several fundraisers as the year and opportunity arises so please at least post them on facebook for me when I do. Donation fueled give aways:) Yahoo!
We are humbled by the note that Vivabeads is honoring our family and Caylyn by designing a line designed to raise funds and awareness of both the Leukemia Foundation and international adoption by donating a portion of proceeds to both of these causes when someone purchases a Remember Me item. I will be selling these bracelets once again to raise funds for Kathleen once I am able to order some from the spring catalog. What an amazing gift from the owners of Vivabeads to make this available. I have to tell you that the bracelets are so beautiful! It is a sweet way to remember Caylyn and the fight she encountered as well, and will serve to remind so many that Hope is real, even in the face of disaster. I love the name of the line and it strikes a tender place in my heart. If you have a personal relationship with a gift store, encourage them to sell Vivabeads. These are amazing bracelets and are very affordable. Full circle for a great cause!

Wishing everyone a truly amazing new year. I encourage you to find a cause and help in any way you can. Every small assistance parlays into moving mountains. And I will boldly say that the cause you choose is important. While I think trees and basset hounds are important, of course I am going to encourage you to consider something that changes the life of a person. A small person, who has no voice for themselves and no control over the conditions into which they were born. Life is amazing but we have to help each other a lot of the times in order to achieve this. Yeah, we have to help every single day. Radical living for a radical life. I know the word radical has been over-bantered lately because it is on the NYTimes best seller list. But if you have not read the book, it strips away the fog and gives energy to showing love in powerful ways. And I can't tell you enough how amazing the outcome can be. Happy new year!

End of the Year escapades

2010-12-22T16:22:00.006-05:00

First I want to post this link to the Angel tree page of Reece's Rainbow. I am beginning to really feel the need to advocate for Kathleen in region 27. She is so cute! And man, those baby blues are gonna be dangerous:) Please take a moment if you can and contribute even a few dollars to help her grant raise to the 500.00 mark. I know from experience that without these grants it is difficult to get these children home and out of an orphanage. Kathleen is in danger of being transferred to an ugly place in a few short months and this simply cannot happen. Children deserve better in life. The Angel tree will only be up for a few more days so time is important.

And the difference a family can make is astronomical in the scope of things....just take a look at Ms. Marina!
She has really bonded into this family very well. We have a few orphanage things to work through, such as spitting when angry and showing off our back side (with our without a covering!) and she is very stubborn which is okay in the grand scheme of life. But hey, that is amazing that these are our only known battles! She loves Evan, and manages to get in equal time at the table to be funny. Dinner time is usually a riot for some reason, though I do not think it is linked to the food...we do spend lots of time in the kitchen so maybe they are just giddy and proud of their creations. Yeah, that's a stretch in my book, too. All I know is that it seems like she has been her for a lot longer than 3 1/2 weeks. We seem to belong together in a way that is hard to describe. She has taken up residence in a house that she has helped make a home. Ok let's try again. She could have made this home nothing more than a house, but she has added to it in a way that is deeply and intensely laced with love and affection and laughter. Not every "orphan" gets out that happy and well balanced. It is a joy that is hard to describe. I might add that Santa told me the other day as Marina would not get off his lap, " Usually ya can't get em up on my knee! this one is going to be hard to get off:)" Yeah, that's how it is with her. She goes the extra mile to appreciate her situation. And she kisses your hand or pats your cheek to make sure you appreciate it too. Evan has done a 180* show on his emotions almost overnight. They play chase through the house and the other day when she got put in time out for spitting, it was Evan that was there in less than a minute asking if she could come out. He remembers to get things for her if he gets one for him. He did tell her she was just weird at the table the other night when she was telling him the absolute longest story in russian, so I can safely say that all is well here. We are getting really excited about Christmas. Gifts are semi wrapped. I hit black friday because I was still on eastern europe time zone or we would not be having what we are I think, but really the gifts are only a way of saying we love each other and it is signifying the true gift of Love and Hope. If we only had each other we would be way more than fine. In the long run none of the "stuff" really matters anyway. I am grateful for friends and family, and do not take these things for granted, or at least I am trying hard not to. It is hard to tell people how really much they mean, and I wish there was an easy way to tell folks what's in our hearts. I wish there was a way to keep it there up front all year long but it's hard to be human some days.

Well Marina found one small lollipop and is set for yet another bath and another half a load of laundry. Wow, I hope the well does not go dry! Stay well and safe and thank you for taking time to see our photos. She really is a miracle that she is here. Ukraine is set to vote soon to put a halt on international adoptions so I will come full circle here and ask that if you have the time and or financial capacity, please lets make it a project to get Kathleen a home next. Time is critical for several reasons. A 35.00 donation will net you a really sweet ornament with her little face on it. Merry Christmas!

The Good the Bad and the Ugly...

2010-12-12T17:54:00.009-05:00

Where to start? How about just going in order...first the Good. Marina is doing very very well adjusting and loving and being funny. Today she was very busy in the kitchen as Tully and I watched church on tv, until I finally got up to check on her. She had found my muffin tin and broke up the extra waffle, filling the cups with the pieces, then emptied my salt shaker onto the top of them. How Yummy! I found it in the oven, baking...she watches everything and only needs to see it once to learn how to do something. I was not the one who turned on the oven either. Yesterday we got up early and went to the park to ride the train and enjoy a morning with other kids. It was beautiful outside, and a friend gave Marina a bag of really neat clothes, complete with a killer snow suit! Marina LOVED it the most and almost would not take it off once we returned from the park. I loved that she had it too, because she was the only kid out of several hundred that had on a fuscia snow suit:) Easy to spot! Again the kids had a great time and enjoyed the wide open space (as if our 3 acres is not enough). The favorite thing to do IN the house is to sit on the corner cabinet and help me cook, and that is both Evan and Marina. IF Marina would just stop resetting the auto start time on the coffee pot I might have a better chance at getting in front of the day. Hey shifting gears here, I got the best phone call the other day, and ended up getting a job at USAir here in Greenville Spartanburg. I am so excited to get that job you have NO IDEA~! Since we have gotten home, there has been very little work available through the holidays. I do not start until January 10th as it takes about a month for FAA clearances and safety classes OH HA! I only THOUGHT I was finished being back ground checked! The work is part time flex shift so I am really happy about that too. I won't get rich but we will be able to do some traveling to various places for as long as i work there. It will be a fun summer I think. Tully has filled out several applications but again, this is not the time of year to start something as most folks are in year end mode.

On to the Bad...Marina has absolutely no intention of doing anything that is not already on her list. She is as bull headed as any child I have ever encountered. Sometimes she gets in trouble and chooses to spit in retaliation. Then go rubber and then turns to molten lead, actually resembling liquid mercury. She is heavy and fluid and cannot be gotten off the ground. So we have some things to work through ab out anger management. This does not happen often but she really does not listen particularly well if she does not feel like it. On the other hand, she understands nearly every thing we tell her. Sometimes I forget she speaks Russian. The other day after she got out of the bath I told her we needed to go dry her hair. She ran to the bathroom and got the hairdryer out of the drawer. That sort of stuff is spooky because I hardly ever dry her hair so she had not heard that before. The other thing she does that I could do without is her tattling. Then I remember she speaks Russian. Poor Evan cannot blink without Marina suggesting we spank him and he has learned that sticking his tongue out can be tattled about faster than he can get it back in his mouth. I still don't know why she calls him Dasita but that is what it has been since she met him...and that is about as far from the word Evan you can get. Marina does not sleep in one place through the night, and usually comes in search of me. She usually also needs every light on in every bedroom that she encounters, which is disturbing at 4 am to say the least. She will start with Evan's room or maybe the couch, and may use her room, but needs me by the middle of the morning hours. She does snuggle right back to sleep but I never do. I am hanging on by my fingernails by then trying not to fall off the bed that everyone is in. Reminds me of the little book The Napping House where the bed breaks from too many folks napping on it. Really it is a matter of time...

Now on to the Uglys. Evan is having a hard time with Marina being here. That is the truth. He likes her and loves her but often says he prayed and prayed for her but she is different than he thought she was going to be like. I asked him what that meant, and he says it is "Just too hard" and not much else will come out about it. They are at each other often and want to blame everything on each other. I know it will level off but I feel bad for both of them. I might feel a little bad for Tully and I too...loads of referee work to be done here. When I look at her, I can hardly believe she is finally here...then I wander to where she would be if she were not here, and it really upsets me that we were not only the choice, but the back up plan as well...what if we had not come? She is so smart and funny and "electric" I can hardly bare the thought of that light nearly being extinguished, which is exactly what would have happened. So not too much is ugly since this will level off in time as we all find our places in the universe we share. It's the "in the meantime"part that gets a little mundane to say the least. I thought about leaving this out but it is the truth and anyone thinking of adoption should know that adjustments are difficult for family changes. It is also very very worth it and I would do this again in a heart beat. I believe Tully and Evan would too, Tully is grateful she is here and Evan has times of happiness too that are different than being an only child. There is much to celebrate this Christmas and we are grateful for the life that has been added to our family. The photos are just some various home life shots...Evan was a sheep in the nativity scene at the school musical, and of course Marina was proud! It was a cute production and very well done. It is getting hard to finish anymore of this post as Marina and Evan need to get in the bed soon, and Scooby Do is on as LOUD as I can hardly stand! Thanks for visiting, We ask for prayers to include those children left behind with no family this Christmas season, and especially for those who are on the transfer list. It is almost too much to bear remembering their faces and knowing that some of them will not make it.

Crazy Days are here again....

2010-12-02T13:17:00.007-05:00

Ok how it got to be more than a week since the last post, I do not know. We survived the flight, arriving in time to basically pull up a chair and stuff our little faces at my sister's house, and life on our hamster wheel began again. Yesterday was Evan's first day back to school and he was a nervous wreck for some reason. As he walked in the door his friends all jumped up and mobbed him with hugs and back pats. Nerves appeased and he settled into a nice short day at school since he sabotaged the day by leaving his lunch box at home...(stinker!). Marina went with us for a variety of reasons, of course to show her off and to show her that kids do go to school here. I needed an interpreter to explain that we were not taking her to a different orphanage, as she saw the guard, sweet Mr. Bob, open the door for us and she bolted back out to the parking lot. It took a while but she came back in and hid behind me the rest of our short stay. Today was a completely different story. She slung on Evan's back pack and hopped in the car. I am always happy to see anyone in the car on time so we were happy all the way to school...and through the door, and to the class where we drop Evan off...and then it got both interesting and ugly....she was furious that we did not let her stay!! I took her straight to the park despite it was 35* outside...and we played and got dirty and then went to Barnes and Noble for a cookie at starbucks. Heck everything else was closed! I was on a mission to find a magazine we have around here called upstate parents but could only find November issues. It has a monthly list of everything a kid could do and I thought it would be a good place to start for finding fun stuff. i have also written to several very competent folks in the community to find out what I need to go ahead and get her into school. She will not be able to go to Evan's school because i doubt they are set up for Marina and also could not possibly afford it unless they both went half days. Anyhow once again Marina is on her own game plan and taking the lead in surprising me. We went to dinner at the Country Club for family spaghetti night last night and she was amazing. For one she was absolutely precious in her little gymboree dress from Shelly Burman, and for two, she was incredibly well behaved! She even asked for help every single time she wanted to drink out of her "pedastal water glass"! She was totally happy to see her cousin Laurel and hugged her a zillion times. Laurel will be three in January and every time she sees me if Marina is not with me Laurel laments..."Where's Rina!" They will be fun friends as both love to play babies, though in vastly different ways:) (Marina spends great quantities of time bawling them out and smacking them with belts or spatulas and putting them to bed.)

Evan and Marina have their differences but both love the other greatly. Marina dresses in Evan's clothes when he is gone to school and when Marina was mad and laying on the couch with her back to everyone, it was Evan who was petting her and loving on her. She is easy to put to bed as she loves to be read to, but she does not stay where she starts out. She often takes to the couch with her little blanket and pillow, but last night made her way to my room. She is like wrestling a ferret to get her to stop moving around, and I will chase her back to the couch if she comes in again. 4 am was just too early to deal with anyone who was not sick or bawling! Speaking of sick, of course she has had a cough and a runny nose since we got home and is now on a z-pack so hope that will knock it out for her at least for a while. I took her to the doctor the other day and she had the same reaction as she did with Mr. Bob--run for the door! So we did nothing other than visit and weigh her in at 46 pounds and get a sticker. Since my dad is the doctor it is important she not associate bad things with family.
the only other things to report include that Marina is the cleanest child in the USA as she takes several baths a day. She has figured out how to set the water temp and turn on the tub and is in it before you can realize she is not still beating the babies in her room! Tully set up a second swing out on the playground and that has been a good thing too. I guess in this post what the bottom line is, is that she is about as normal as they come. She runs, and jumps and falls down and does everything Evan does, half a second behind him. She inadvertently strangles the cats because they are too heavy but they keep forgetting and keep coming back for more abuse since she is the only one who will let them in. She is an easy easy child to transition into our family and I feel like we will face very little issues from her past. I still feel like the last place she lived before here was instrumental in her success at being this beautiful child. They gave her levels of confidence and self reliance that I personally would not mind having! We have taught her only one thing since she has been here and that is to blow her nose. I just wish she would now tell me she was going to blow so I could go get a kleenex! She is no longer afraid of dogs, and spends alot of time fussing poor kiki out russian style. We still have to figure out how to get her to let us brush her teeth, but I imagine that in the rear section of her mouth they probably hurt. She has at least 8 cavities that I can see. Will deal with the dentist after all her papers are processed at immigration. Maybe she will learn some English by then and can really tell some one how she feels haha!
One last thing on being fearless. We went to the mall the other night to see Santa but ended up finding the set up for that human bungee jumping thing where kids get strapped in and can jump with those rubber cables enabling them to nearly touch the ceiling. Of course it is Evan's favorite thing in the world...and Marina is half a second behind him in needing to jump as well. I relented and sure as the moon, the girl who is going to help Marina...is from Russia and as bilingual as they come. The look on Marina's face was awesome! Sort of like we are holding out on her with speech but this girl forgot and spoke Russian to her! Anyhow that little Marina jumped and jumped so high! She fears nothing that I can find...and truly I am not looking very hard.
The newspaper did a wonderful story on our adoption and I will post the link separate as I do not want to risk losing this lengthy post about life that is as normal as they come. Tully is struggling to find work and I have several options for merchandising that came in this week. But we feel that we as always will find a way to make ends meet. And we struggled occasionally before she came so yes, life is normal. Except that we have girl clothes in the laundry again. And russian speaking sunshine streaking through the house. thanks for keeping up with us.

The Thanksgiving...

2010-11-24T22:29:00.007-05:00

I am so tired I probably should not be utilizing a keyboard right now...but the kids and Tully are asleep and it is 10 30 EST. The kids have been asleep since just after 2 this afternoon. Marina also slept for 14 hours yesterday, right through her nap as well. We are toast...it is not just the flight, it is the months and months of accumulated emotions finally breathed out. To be honest I feel two dimensional and incapable of big word combinations. But I really wanted to post some photos of our last 24 hours in Kiev, the capital of a country we came to love dearly. We are thankful beyond measure to have been a part of this event. Not only has Marina been a complete lottery winning, the entire journey was nothing but amazingly graced with goodness. Tomorrow we celebrate our thankfulness and it is not lost on me that of all the days we could have come home, we were chosen to arrive during the week slotted for giving thanks....Marina has cried twice since we left the orphanage. Once because she was in the car and on the way to the train and I think she was scared. Today she cried because I would not let her play outside barefooted. I am thankful for these days. Life is short, the days can be long. We make mistakes and say mean things. We are human. But opening the door, for Marina, to have a life that is vastly different from the one chosen for her statistically, we are humbled to be her family. We feel special...she is beautiful. She makes us beautiful because she is free and we have a first row seat to watch her blossom. The photos are of the view from our window in Kiev the last day. The night time shot is of a statue that stands for the liberation of Ukraine from Russia and the fall of the USSR. To me it symbolizes the thankfulness Marina feels as well. She saw the play ground out the back window this morning that Make a wish donated to us several years ago and nearly went into orbit with glee. I remember how much that playground hurt us that it was not built in time...then it became therapy to overcome pain, now it is the symbol of joy, tying all my children together. Time heals, but nothing heals better than chasing sorrow from your heart and replacing it with being thankful that we can do more than we understand about ourselves. To see Marina happy, reminds me that Cay is free too, and even more happy where she is. There are sacrifices with that level of accomplishment...we are sorrowful that Cay is not here. Marina's parents are devastated that she cannot be there. Best is not always the easy route. But better is what it is, simply better. Sometimes it can only be better for one person, even though many are involved. God is funny like that. He cares individually more than collectively and does not use the bell curve system.

I still want to post the things I love and will miss about Ukraine, but it is time to concede defeat for the day, and go to bed. And that post deserves a blog all by itself. The newspaper came today to photograph our family for a story on our journey. Evan could not have acted worse if he had been given the mission by God to be awful. I assume that the photographer was morbidly impressed that Evan did not like anyone, never mind his new sister. Now that the nap has stretched into the night by 9 hours and rolling, I understand better that tired is debilitating. I am interested to see how the photos turn out. I am glad for photo shop...anyhow it is due out sometime next week and I will post the link when the story appears.

And the thing about being thankful comes back to you....Thanks for you. Thanksgiving is all about realizing what you have, and we are grateful beyond measure, for you.

Rockin' in the USA!

2010-11-23T07:09:00.002-05:00

We are home, after a lengthy journey through Kiev passport police to Munich and then on to Charlotte NC, where our first purchase was indeed a 6 pack of mini cinnabons:) The kids were unbelievably good on the flights and Marina has really rolled with the madcap ideas we have to drag her halfway around the world without complaining. Every time we disembarked from a plane she would hop into her stroller and sing her little heart out as we rolled through the airport. I know it is a song she learned in her previous location as she is perfect in her rendition every time and it includes a lot of hand gestures and waving and smiling. We had no trouble coming through the customs agency in Charlotte but that left us with about 2 1/2 hours to kill and we were already close to falling over. So we moseyed southern style, aimless and slow, and at that point Marina fell over in her stroller and stayed asleep through the next flight and getting met at the airport by my mom and dad and sister and brother in law and their two little ones. I have to say we are so humbled by the support of all of our friends and family members. The well wishes and sweet comments and just the love that has been poured out over us is breath taking and awesome. My sister rode in the van as her family went back home, and when we arrived at our house I knew why. Evidently she and her whole family (and extended family girlfriend Ms Holli) and my mom and dad cooked up this surreal idea that redefines what a "baby shower" is all about! They spent the last 17 days doing the ultimate home makeover of our place. Rye grass is planted, pansies in the pots outside, and the inside!! Holy SMOKES! Every drawer is organized. Pictures hung and new furniture in place, guitar office set up for Tully that looks like the Hard Rock cafe with guitars on the walls. This is nothing short of a miracle combined with 1000 man hours of sweat and labor. Our closets are cleaned out, Marina's room looks like a magazine ad. Heck the whole house looks like a magazine ad! When Martha Stewart and Rachel Ray wonder where the real talent is, they can look for my sister Tonja and my mother who likely has no checks left in the check book. I bet my dad worked overtime for this one too! Utter gratitude will never be enough to describe what it was like to walk into this house last night. Or to open the refrigerator this morning.

Marina did wake up once we got through the door and she found her room and then discovered that we live in cat central, with 8 now full grown kittens who have been waiting to be introduced to her. (yes, they are all "fixed"). We will have to work on the dog introduction thing, as Marina wants to pet them but sheer terror and common sense keep interjecting and colliding with her desire. She finally fussed them out in Russian and shut the door. Marina has been playing baby dolls since she woke up last night and discovered that there were several things ready to play with in her room. This must be heaven on earth for her. Evan and Marina slept in her room last night, and are already up playing in his room this morning. She has dragged many baby dolls into his room so she can play near him as he watches new found old movies that have been placed with great care back in their cases. Things he thought were lost forever. Did we say thank you to our family? Evan will be hugging your necks for years to come just over the movie organization. And me? Well, it is hard to know where to start being grateful that instead of coming home and digging out of a life in shambles that it felt like we flew away from, instead it feels like what Marina feels like...a true fresh start in a life that sort of looks like our own but we wonder what we did to deserve all of this?? Heaven claps and cheers over a family that loves each other the way ours does. And I mean all of our family, Tully's and mine!

So we are ready to start the day, after a nights sleep in beds that never ever felt so comfortable. I will post photos as we locate cords to the computer and camera and slowly unpack and find a way to get back on the treadmill of life here at home. Something tells me that it will be action packed with great things as we realize how much we have to share with one small power house of a child who sasses dogs and baby dolls in Russian. My heart is so tender this morning as I realize we arrive home just in time for Thanksgiving, and we have so much to be thankful for it is hard to know where to start. I am struggling with the words this morning and jet lag will be to blame for now. But to our friends and family who made this possible, Marina's life will forever be a dream come true for her. And also for us. Yes Caylyn, we are happy to live the life example you left us with. It feels radically right, and would be perfect if you were here to play babies as well. But we know you know, that all is well today as we throw kisses through the thin veil that separates us being face to face. Thanks for what you left us with.

What a long strange trip it's been....

2010-11-19T15:10:00.011-05:00

It has been several days since an update and it has not been with out adventures to post, just without the time or energy to manage the words. Even as I type I am practically falling off the bed tired...but here is a summary of the week in Kiev...We arrived Tuesday night this past week at 11:30 pm and the kids really got that second wind with a 2 hour train nap-- and even the time awake on the train was waaaaaay better than I had expected. It was as if Marina was born to ride the train and she sat around playing with cool floamy stuff that the facilitator had given us to keep the kids busy on the train ride. When I first opened the box of this weird stuff I thought it was a cruel joke to keep me busy writing checks for all we destroyed with mini sticky foam balls everywhere, but to my pleasant surprise it was actually very groovy as far as toys go. Buy some, it is too hard to explain but I promise you will not pick it out of the rug like playdoh. Anyhow back to arriving in Kiev. We had rented an apartment online (I have come a long way since we first landed six weeks ago and I could not buy bread by myself), and the apartment has been magnificent...it is huge and the mattresses are real, and the stove works and the tub is a miniature round swimming pool. At least according to the children. (Mel's son included...they are still here with us) I might add that Marina had her first bath at 2:30 in the morning because no kid has ever been so gleeful about the bath idea. She had her second bath the next morning, and one in the afternoon, and another one or two that evening. I have checked for gills and fins, they are hidden somewhere but she is surely part fish! Evan could not stand it, he finally realizes that baths are fun again and yes, you CAN get water on a 14 foot high black italian tile ceiling if you try hard. But I have jumped way ahead in the story. Did I mention I was tired? I do have to say that gotcha day was a fairy tale story as far as adoptions go. The plan was to pick Marina up at 3:30 right after nap time. We were invited up to her room which is a combo play room snack room bedroom kinda thing. The nurses and nannies were all there and helped us get Marina ready to leave. They had gathered her clothes that had accumulated with each visit where I wanted to see if something fit and Marina would never give it back digressing here and back to the play room) where the kids were all gathered around having snack and juice in these little ceramic mugs. It was awesome to see them all watching Marina get ready to leave. Everyone made such a big deal of her going, and how beautiful she looked and we said good bye to everyone we could find! I know Marina felt like a fairy tale princess...she sure looked like one! The photos are of the orphanage the last night we saw it, and the kids in the groupa, and Marina getting dressed and saying Good bye. We all cried when it was time to go, and the director came to say good bye once again, and good luck. These people are so incredibly good hearted! Anyhow the trip to the train station was less exciting and more scary, partly because traffic was horrible and also because Marina was bawling hard. Finally our wonderful driver Roman talked to her in Russian all the way to the station and when we arrived Marina was perfectly fine, and has been that way ever since! Of course we cried when we said good bye to the driver too, he was the same driver we had the whole time we were in Dnipropetrovsk and he was a great friend as well. So, back to Kiev we went. Thursday was embassy day and medical check up day. I found it odd that the doctor there was surprised that Marina followed instructions and understood what he was saying, but that in itself explains a lot. Anyhow this is a long day and a family day as well since everyone is required to be there in person. The kids were good but tired and hungry so it went as well as to be expected. We rewarded them with another bath when we got back to the apartment. I simply love this bathroom! Mel's son Timothy has come to understand that if he gets naked someone might add him to the tub as well, though usually he just gets sat on the potty so he is not always so happy about that turn of events. He is a little pistol and is really really cute but is really going to give Mel a heart attack on the plane as he grabs things faster than any kid i have ever met, and then moves right on to the next big idea of his before you get the first idea cleaned up. He can usually be diverted with food, but I fear he will one day simply explode, even though he is small. He can really pack in a ton of food! Speaking of food, Wednesday night we ate at Il Patio, a wonderful italian restaurant adjacent to TGIFriday in Kiev. We met up with two other Reece's rainbow families, Meredith and Mike Cornish and also Melissa Lorenz and her new daughter Liza, and of course Mel and Timothy were there as well. The kids were great but Marina feels it is necessary to personally tell each table in a restaurant "Dasvadonya" which is russian for Good bye. It must be accompanied with a wave, preferably a half an inch from the patrons nose. We left abruptly after several similar good byes to stunned folks we did not know and once on the side walk Marina broke into a dead run, the kind that is hard to catch in a pair of tall black boots, the likes of which I was wearing. Since we were to be at the embassy the following morning which required her physical presence, I gave it my best burst of energy and grabbed her laughing gleefully half a block away. I might mention here that under NO CIRCUMSTANCES do you ever ever buy the cheap stroller in Ukraine. And by cheap I mean 60 bucks US dollars. No such thing as an umbrella stroller here. Our stroller broke right away because aluminum pop rivets do not withstand 40+ pounds, and we won't even talk about Evan sitting in it, will we? I am still going to have to replace that thing just to get home. Marina has that leadership quality that will make for difficult travels without a chariot.
So we are really really winding down the journey. I can hardly believe it and echo Evan's sentiments as he occasionally blurts out how he can't believe we get to take Marina home and how he loves having her for a sister. And indeed we do too, love her being little Marina. Today we picked up her visa at the embassy and got to meet lots of other families as well! And that is the end of our paper chase, officially!
We bid adieu to Mel and Timothy around 3 am as they head to the airport and back to Iowa. We, the Bachmans, change apartments tomorrow as this one is rented to someone else tomorrow evening, so we opted for another studio apartment that we will find our way to tomorrow....we leave for South Carolina on Monday, also 3 am. so the next two days are ours to do with as we wish, relax and roam the city in search of a see saw and some swings. Our family once again has managed to complete a journey and embark on one all at the same time, yet again. God has been very gracious. More than I ever ever dreamed. Cay would love this gal. But with out Caylyn and her journey I can surely say there would not be a Marina Hope Bachman in our lives. As always, Caylyn continues to give, even still. Thank you for your prayers. We have been overly protected along the way. Cath & crew

Today is the first day of the rest of our Lives

2010-11-16T02:17:00.008-05:00

It is Gotcha day~the official spring your child to a freedom that is going to confuse the daylights out of her and give her a life that is our responsibility to convince her through language brick walls, that this is indeed, the life for for which she was made. A good life, with lots of new adventures. Last night we were offered the opportunity to take Marina from the orphanage grounds and see how she behaved. Our (my) bright idea was to take her to the mall, which was only a few blocks away. This had visions of grandeur that did not include one iota of reality from my perspective. We dressed her in her new coat, put her in her new chariot which she liked alot, handled Evan bawling because he did not get a turn in the stroller and off we went, through the gates that have held her for the last year and a half. To the mall, all was well. In the mall, it began to unravel a bit. Then we thought, in the game room, she can roam freely and enjoy that environment. We paid for her to go play in a jumpy bouncy thing with tunnels and a climbing wall and a huge slide at the end...then we were starkly reminded that Marina has no fear of falling. She got braver with every bodily fling from the top of the slide. I aged severely. Tully went pale. Finally it was time to leave. but only by our standards. By then Ms. Freedom had gone around the bend. She was having NOTHING to do with getting in that stroller. We wrestled and physically carried a howling squirming (mad understatement) child from a game room fraught with onlookers. It does not help that the average temperature in the mall hovers around 84*. We managed to get her into the stroller and I convinced Tully to go back and play with Evan as I walked Marina back to the orphanage. As I got to the door to leave the mall with a mad ferret determined to wiggle out of the stroller, i realized I had to put her coat on. Oh crimony. Another 15 minutes and I buttoned it around her arms creating a straight jacket. Once outside, the lights and cars and ringing of my cell phone took over the moment and she was perfectly over the temper. I crossed the street and we put her coat on right as we took up the entire sidewalk to do so. I gave her juice, and my cell phone, she put on her hat and gave me a kiss. Her idea. Then she talked on the phone most of the way home, interjecting waves to cars along the walk. I, meanwhile, worked to reduce my body temperature to a reasonable degree somewhere below the internal spontaneous combustible level. We arrived promptly at 6 pm where the little princess refused to get out of her stroller. I waved PAKA as the nanny wheeled this amazing child down the hall to dinner. This was all last night...today we take her for forever. This will undoubtedly be the most interesting week of our lives and we ask that you seriously pray for us to get through the embassy paperwork and medical exam with success. I already assume "with dignity"is out of the question. We pick Marina up at 3:30 and head straight to the train station for a 5 hour ride to Kiev. I am grateful that Melissa DeLlanos will be with us and we will continue to share the apartment in Kiev. I am grateful that God saw fit to pair us up on this journey because it has made this not only bearable but hilarious at so many intervals. We have laughed and cried and moseyed to the mall and through the supermarket so many times that I can imagine the folks of this town wonder how two crazy Americans can walk around giggling so much. Part of it is surely insanity to have come here when only 614 children were adopted from this country last year...but we all agree that the two more added to this years' list is beyond priceless. There is so much more to post later about saying Good Bye for the last 24 hours to people who have come to mean so much to us. Friendly faces at the mall, people who chose to attempt speaking english to us in order to help us, and all the work of our facilitator and driver to make our journey a true success. We have made friends along this path that will never be forgotten. They are set in our hearts. It will make leaving all the harder today.

The photos are from passport day and my favorite one of Marina and Evan on the see saw, and also from last night at the mall. I did not see the need to take photos of Marina bawling mad so you will have to take my word for it.:)

Passport day:)

2010-11-12T02:15:00.002-05:00

Yesterday was one of those long car days that was both exciting and cumbersome. We left the apartment at 8 am with our housemate Mel, along with me Tully and Evan and got in a small nice little Chevy with the driver and facilitator (Marina). Off to various passport agencies and orphanages to gather papers and then back home to drop off Evan and Tully for the afternoon and I went back to the orphanage around 2 so Marina (facilitator) and I could meet the driver and Mel and the orphanage nurse and Mel's new son Timothy (he is in a different orphanage but nearby) and then all head to the regional passport office to get the children their applications to leave the country. This is also why we left Evan and Tully back at the apartment because they would not remotely have fit into the car. The kids were totally awesome on the ride and behaved really well in the passport office. The thing I was most impressed about was how loving little Marina was to Mel's son who was sitting on Mel's lap beside us in the car. Little Marina would lay her head on Mel's arm and stare into Timothy's eyes with just the biggest pool of LOVE swirling around! She patted his hair and stroked his face and was the most gentle little child. I had not seen this in her specifically yet, though I had no reason to think she did not have this tenderness about her. Timothy will be 5 in January so they are only a year apart but he is in size 18 months so seems much smaller, therefor younger. Anyhow with the additional side trip back to the bank to add a needed signature we had missed earlier in the day, we were looking at nearly 6 pm by the time our little Marina got back to the orphanage. She was tired but very happy and had spent the day either letting me carry her, snuggle her, or hold her hand. It was a great day and we should have passports either monday or tuesday...and the minute we have that paper in our hand we are off to Kiev with the kids free from the life they have known up to this point! WOW! Gotcha day is fast approaching! I will post photos later of Marina and Timothy at the passport office but am trying to hurry and get everyone breakfast and dressed and out the door to go visit Marina for the morning. We love spending time together and hate even missing a minute! Thanks for continued prayers and good cheer that you send our way, we love hearing from everyone:) Love, US

Marina is decreed a Bachman by the courts!

2010-11-10T01:30:00.004-05:00

Yesterday the 9th of November I spent the day in the car with our facilitator Marina as we had a very busy schedule! First we met at the orphanage and then went to the court to pick up our decrees that the court has said they agree we are now little Marina's parents. Then we went to the department of vital statistics and picked up the new birth certificate which also says this. When that was accomplished we took a ride over to the tax code office (similar to the social security office at home, complete with the long line) and let them do some paperwork that I signed my name to as well. The fact that I cannot read one iota of what I am signing is fine because our facilitator is so amazing that she checks and double checks everything and we trust her completely. She is so helpful and a lot of fun to hang out with for a whole day too! It was a great day overall and I am sure the driver of our car went home and took the eastern european version of tylenol after listening to us two yak and giggle all day! I had left the orphanage in the morning at ten thirty and had barely enough time to hug little Marina as we hopped in the car and left. I managed to return just as she came running down the hallway to greet us at almost 5 oclock but she was a little bent out of shape that I would not see saw in my dress and also that I had missed morning visit so she spent most of the time either putting me in time out over by the wall in a pile of leaves, or just fussing at me and making me stand in the street. Sigh, if she only knew that today her name was changed to Marina Hope Bachman! Tully and I were standing at the see saw as Marina and Evan were utilizing it and Marina was pointing to each of us, all four of us one at a time and saying something in Russian...but we knew she knew we are now a team of Bachmans by the way she said the words. When I was standing in one of my various time out spots another little girl from Marina's "groupa" ran to hug me and Marina came and grabbed me by my hand and claimed me from the other child, fussing out the other little girl for honing in on Marina's mama:) Both instances are huge leaps! Marina also signs MORE when it is snack time and she sees our green bag.
The weather here continues to astound everyone with the balmy winds and not cold enough for a coat (unless you are born here or a child- then you are bundled so only your eyeballs show and your arms are at a 45 degree angle out beside you from the extra layers) but I know we are enjoying it tremendously! I was battling a bit of congestion yesterday but slept extra long last night and feel much better today. Tully is climbing out from his bit of Marina's cold as well.
Tomorrow I meet with our facilitator again and we go to apply for little Marina's passport, which is a 4 day wait, and we can get it hopefully of tuesday next week, then we can go to Kiev and our embassy appointment on thursday and friday...maybe to leave saturday? Our flight is tentatively scheduled to leave the monday just after that on the 22nd and I know that the flight on saturday is nearly full already, so we will keep everyone posted and not get too ahead of ourselves in planning. We certainly know better by now! Anyhow we are so excited to have come this far and yesterday was monumental in the events of this journey...Marina is officially a Bachman!

ps-the photo is taken on a jungle gym climber outside and reflects the apartment buildings that circumvent the outer perimeters of the orphanage, which is surrounded by a high cement wall creating a courtyard of several playgrounds. This one is surely for older kids as it has much "higher" equipment to play on and requires Tully to get the kids across the monkey bars.

Circus story and Marina has long hair!

2010-11-08T01:46:00.007-05:00

The weather here for the last couple of days has been gorgeous! More like going to the beach too early in the spring than autumn in UA--cool air blended with a warm breeze undertone. Unfortunately when the landlady came to clean yesterday she concurred we were just too nuts with the windows open so she turned off the heat completely. I might add here that the nights are not as climatically wonderful as the days and we were mighty chilly last night! Anyhow windows are closed again but we will have to make some adjustments to our southern attitude and see if we can grovel in sign language and get the heat back on. But back to more fun stuff...Marina has LONG hair! This is sort of a surprise since it is always in a really high pony tail and is never down. Her hat would not stay on outside the other day and so I had to take her ponytail holder out and re-fix her hair so the hat would accommodate. Most eastern european countries have a practice of cutting orphans hair short or shaving it all together for the summer months. Even the hairs on this child's head has been protected and it appears that it has been for several years! I have noticed that in this particular orphanage there are several children with gorgeous hair cuts or very long beautiful braids and I cannot imagine who takes the time to keep them all so outstanding in their grooming. I am hoping to get to braid Marina's pigtails as we rapidly approach Gotcha Day. Her outfit for leaving the orphanage is all picked out right down to the black leather mary jane shoes:) Can't wait for that photo!! And to see her step through that gate she is so intent on escaping will totally be the highlight of the journey!

We did not go to visit Marina last night and it was the first visit we have not attended. We had inquired of our driver Roman if we could take his family to the circus on Sunday afternoon if he would drive. He had other business at that time but instead got tickets for us and took US to the circus and then came back for us! I did get a couple photos before I got the finger wag about cameras in the circus...but if you EVER for some crazy reason get the chance to go to see a circus in this country, you really should. The show is more compact than three rings and less lights, but the heart of performing is at least as big as the tent can hold and these performers really gave their all! My opinion is that the clown was one of the funniest I have seen in all circus performances in ANY country! It was a 2 hour show and we had a blast. No language skills necessary:) Well...speaking of language skills, I did manage to tell Roman that the one thing I did not care for at the circus was the turkish toilets in the ladies room. With the language barrier and the fact that they do not call the holes in the ground turkish toilets (I am assuming), all he caught from the conversation was that I did not like something at the circus. This concerned him until he realized that surely I said "circus toilets" and not turkish toilets. Then we were all killing ourselves laughing in the car as he realized I had not encountered this lovely opportunity up until now. So if the wikipedia definition for turkish toilets ever includes "also known as circus toilets" you will know why. I am almost certain now that this was funnier in the car when we did not have all the necessary language skills--it is something akin to playing pictionary but more like russianary. It will either make you mental or you will be killing yourself laughing at some point. And as for the full mental picture of the bathroom just for a post with waaay too much information, consider a row of outhouses, no roofs, with little doors on them that won't lock, and you have to step up 6 inches to a ceramic platform with a hole in the center of it on the platform floor. Do not ask if there is toilet paper, just always keep kleenexes in your pocket. I know why the ladies' boots are so tall in this country now. It is so their feet will stay dry at the circus. ? Only a guess, only a guess. Oh by the way, that first photo is Evan in heaven over getting to go buy cotton candy! We sent him halfway across the event center to buy that stick of manna, and he LOVED it! (duh...)

We will anxiously head over to the orphanage this morning to see if Marina is upset with us for missing our visit last night. Evan came out of the circus and said, Hey! It's dark so we missed Marina! I was near thrilled that he was despondent over that, except that I felt twinges of it as well. We genuinely missed seeing our girl last night and look forward to only a few more days...we should pick up court papers declaring her a Bachman tomorrow. Perhaps birth certificate the same day!?? Maybe today we will hear something good! Pray for our housemate Mel and her adoption journey too, we just got word that her vital statistics person is out sick and she can't get a birth certificate for her son until that person is well and back at work. Maybe the weekend was good to their health and we have worried for nothing! We would love to continue on in sync with her as we head back to Kiev sometime this weekend or early next week and go to the embassy. We ask that prayers be lifted for our own journey to continue on in the grace that has covered us since we set foot here. Thank you.

Orphan Sunday and Saving each other...

2010-11-07T02:43:00.005-05:00

It is Sunday morning here in UA and it is the middle of the night in the US. November 7th has been designated as Orphan Sunday by the church and the purpose is to spot light the plight of the 147 million orphans world wide who do not know the love of a family or the significance of a home. When you look at a number like 147 million it has the impact of say...talking about the deficit or some near infinite government number that creates a numbness just by the sheer vastness of it. It makes you want to question the reality of it all. And it is overwhelming. But when you look at one face and know that she is becoming "one less orphan" and the power of that knowledge is just as infinite as the waiting numbers. I had a lady tell me once "Oh, I could NEVER do that!" Really? Says who? I have others say "What about kids here in the US? and I ask, well, with that level of concern, what are you doing to help? Honestly, adopting feels as right as rain to me now. I can't imagine NOT doing it. And I wonder what stands in the way of others adopting. Is family too perfect or too chaotic or too big or too small at your house to let someone have a chance at a life? I think the blindness to this idea comes from just not considering it at all. That it's for other people to do but the truth is Jesus called all of us to care for widows and orphans. (James 1:27) To not know the need is almost to be exempt from the cause...almost. "Once our eyes are opened we can't pretend we don't know what to do. God who weighs our hearts and knows our souls, knows that we know and holds us responsible to act." There are so many ways to help if you simply cannot adopt. There is giving and volunteering and helping fund raise and awareness raise. And there is praying, the most significant act of obedience there is. I realize with our blog on adopting Marina it has seemed like this has been a walk in the park (if you do not count the paper chase which was a journey through a tornado vortex). We have loved nearly every minute of being here. I should tell you we are the exception to the rule. For another beautiful post on the plight of orphans already transferred to an institution I encourage you to visit my friend Julia Nalle's post on Micah 6:8. It is powerful. I do believe one person can make a difference but I think it is easier when it is a team of people with a heart for making a difference. It becomes a story of fishes and loaves multiplied. And in the grand scheme of things, are children not so very very important to the world while they have a short time before they grow up, or get lost along the way? They teach us beauty and love and innocence and wonder, in a way that we should never give them a chance to be lost at all!

http://www.covenantbuilders.blogspot.com/

I will be available when we get home to come tell our story of adoption to anyone who would like to hear it since I have had several requests to do so. And I want to officially say that I completely mis-named our blog. We are not saving Marina. Truth be told, God is saving each of us from a plight of sadness and sorrow with out each other. We love her just as much as she loves us. I know we belong together as a family. The rainbow was drawn from our house to her orphanage more than 6500 miles apart and shone directly over her head. We couldn't miss her! Where does your rainbow end?

Day 8 of the wait...

2010-11-05T08:03:00.002-04:00

I have come to update several times but the mini computer has conflicted with the free wifi here at the mall so today I lugged the big 8 pounder over to the mall so maybe I can get lucky and upload a video. That is my personal challenge at this point, to get a video of how dadgum cute Marina is while she jabbers away in russian. I had originally abandoned the idea of the video but our housemate Mel managed to get one uploaded so I have a renewed competitive interest in doing so now:)

Our ten day wait expires on Sunday but since the ten day wait covers two weekends we may have to manage to wait until tuesday for it to be official. This will seriously throw off the time line of breaking the kid out of the orphanage on wednesday and will update for sure when we know. This is a government requirement to wait ten days to see if anyone steps up and claims the child. Interestingly enough, this information is not posted anywhere for anyone to actually know about to my knowledge. I am grateful for the ten day wait as we have been able to get to know her so much better and for her sake I think it has been good too. She is beginning to really grasp that we belong to her now. Marina did sign MORE yesterday and would sing the pledge of allegiance if she thought it would get her more sweet green grapes! She is heavily addicted to them and has learned they always come in the green ingles shopping bag when we arrive to play with her.

Oh wow. I just got a phone call from our facilitator and we will get to take Marina out of the orphanage on the 16th of November which is a tuesday...we may get her monday the day before but will likely leave this region on that tuesday and head back to Kiev for her medical check up and embassy appointments. I was hoping to have her at least one night before we go to Kiev in case I have any questions I can ask the orphanage before we leave but the recommendation has been to leave little Marina in the orphanage for as long as possible to minimize the possiblity of her getting sick from the change in foods outside the orphanage. At least two families have had this happen here recently and it is extremely difficult to find a doctor who will see a child with down syndrome. (Socialized medicine is not always social). So that puts us in Kiev around the 16th or 17th of November and then home a few days or so after that. I try not to make plans since they do not materialize in the order I dream them up. I revisited our journey to Belize and then before that with Caylyn and realize that the concept of being flexible is critical to survival.

Tully is getting a sinus infection and he and Evan are taking a nap for now. Last evening Evan was still asleep as Tully and I left for the orphanage so Mel agreed to watch him until he woke up. He was still asleep when we got back at 6:30!! Dinner was even already ready!! (Love having Mel at home:) Anyhow Marina was beyond crazed that we had the audacity to leave Evan somewhere she could not see him. We played outside and she called him and called him. I have no idea WHAT she called him but it was soooo sweet to hear the tone in her voice. Occasionally she would holler WOOK! at the gate when someone came through and she would think it was Evan. It was neat that she missed him:).
I am attempting to upload a video of Marina playing in the mirror of the lobby of the orphanage where we play if we are stuck inside. She had also just gotten some new clothes which is guaranteed to send her over the edge with glee, that kid just loves having her own things. She wears the little pink boots we bought her here in Dnip to the point that 1) I can't believe we did not buy black ones, and b) we will have to go back and get another pair! Maybe we will get the black ones:)

So Mel and I just did the math and it is going to be 19 days after court before we get to spring the kids...we are both kind of stunned but it is what it is, and we will have our band of merry US to get us through this. I know all in God's time but that does not make it less complicated to be gone from home for so long. I am very grateful for her friendship and the fact that we are able to have access to all the luxuries we do. And mostly for laughter. And the therapy of getting to be homesick and share it with someone who is really clear on the battle-journey right now. Please pray that we do ok with the wait. We seem to be protected but our hearts are getting weary. Thanks for keeping up with us.

Time falls back here too!

2010-10-31T07:24:00.007-04:00

Today was a beautiful day outside and we took full advantage of getting to enjoy being outside. Marina loves sunglasses so we are currently at the mall enjoying a promised happy meal to Evan and watching skaters and children dressed in halloween costumes I do not recognize. My sister Tonja has a little girl Laurel who will be vying for the title of cat lover with both Evan and Marina. The pair spent the day chasing kittens around the playground, and having the very best kind of day. Marina has had a cold but is feeling better and for that we are grateful. Not too much to report but they do roll the clocks back here as well as in South Carolina, which I was suprised to find out. That is one thing that I would change about this world, though it is small, it drives me nuts that you can make the waking hours dark for longer in an already bleak season. How goofy is that??? I thought I would try to upload the video of Marina and Evan running to meet us from getting Marina from her groupa this morning. Evan was chosen to go get Marina and also therefore got to see her room and play room which he candidly reports on here....as always hoping this uploads sometime today!! We tried for the longest time to watch the sermon from first baptist last week and that was to no avail...since it was on adoption I was very interested in this of course. May try to post the link here even though I cannot see it myself as the few seconds that did stream down looked really good. Will take the rest of the day off from posting unless anything earth shattering occurs, otherwise, enjoy Sunday and hope your last day of October.

Ground hog day continues, and every day gets more fun!

2010-10-30T15:48:00.006-04:00

This is Mel(adopting Timothy), I decided to guest post on Cathy's blog... ok, the computer is sitting on the table, and her and Tully are cooking dinner, so I just sat down and started typing. They have been so wonderful to let me come stay with them since my husband left to go home to be with our other kids. We are all in the same place in our process, so it's been a God-send having them here at the same time. God has been watching out for us for sure.

Back to me!My turn:) Yes, Mel is right on, God is looking out for us this season for sure. We just finished dinner and laughed and told all sorts of stories, have been talking non-stop since she got here, and have not even begun to run out of material. The next 9 days we wait through the court appointed wait time and then start the process for passports and birth certificates. Those take four more days, so that gives us another 2 1/2 weeks in country give or take a few days. We will get Marina most likely to come live with us next Wednesday the 10th and include a party at the orphanage if they will let us. This is both exciting and scary, since Marina's favorite past time now is to test her special needs parents and see what in the world we have in mind for her testing phases and sticking her tongue out and wagging her back side at us. She has some unique talents for sure! She also does not take no very well, unless it is being directed by an official member of the orphanage delivering it in smooth Russian lingo. I will definitely have to get some of those phrases before we leave! All I know is that someone needs prayed for, and I think it is probably us. Evan and Marina are a bit more bonded these days, they play together fairly well and I can see the teams being divided into an us against them fashion. This is scary. But fun at the same time. And then scary some more...

I am posting the photos from court looking out the window, and Marina's birth parents as well as just more candid shots of us at the orphanage. Oh!! I almost forgot to mention the mall tonight..Evan and Tully went to the mega game room and Mel and I went downstairs to watch some version of Ukraine's Got Talent! It was amazing. First uh, hard to describe but there were three grown men each harnessed with a life size puppet on poles on each side of them. When the men danced they moved the poles and it was like a can can line of dancers. Anyhow you won't be able to mentally grab that one but trust me when I say it was amazing. Next was three girls who were belly dancers with a candelabra on their heads, that was naturally lit (all 14 candles per girl). I won't even begin to tell you how long I think it will take to get the glitter off those gals, but it too, was very impressive. Joe Biden would have needed heart surgery and he has already commented on how beautiful the women are here! Well, enjoy the photos and will update more soon. No, I do not have pictures of the girls in candles...

Successful court day!

2010-10-28T11:45:00.002-04:00

Wow, was today stressful! Both the Dellanos and us had court and we went first, taking a full hour and 15 minutes of drilling questions from both the prosecutor and the judge, then we were approved for adopting Marina. Evan was amazing. Of course Evan was also asleep though the entire proceeding...we are grateful for the coma of a nap that Jesus himself bestowed upon that child! What a day, but then we waited for John and Mel Dellanos to also be approved as Timothy's parents as well. We put on a shared mp3 and sat on the group W bench with various other cases still waiting to be heard...

Then the amazing happened. We were walking out of the courthouse and were able to meet Marina's birth parents. I would post the photos but we are at the mall rewarding Evan for behaving like a champ all day and Tully changed jackets walking out the door of the apartment, leaving the camera in jacket number one...so the photos will lag behind.
Anyhow I cannot say enough for VIktoria and her husband. Our greatest day is so bitter sweet for them as they know they let their only child relocate nearly 7 thousand miles away for her own good. It is so similar to letting Caylyn relocate to Heaven for the good of her life, and it hurt more than anything I could breathe into words. So my heart hurts for these beautiful people as they make the hardest decision of their lives. I promised the very best for Marina and I promised to keep her mother and father in the know for all they will miss first hand. I assured her that the mileage was really not as far as it sounded, and several other promises too intense to write but our facilitator was crying by the time she translated so I know she said the right words. My heart is rejoicing in an exhale of hope as I inhale the tears for her mother who went through the trouble to carry her after trying for 7 years only to birth a child in a country of pure unacceptance. And that is our day in this amazing eastern european country where the sun shone like crazy as the wind turned a bit bitter. A direct reflection of our day...
Thanking GOD for Miracles, for here we are, the parents of yet another beautiful ray of sunshine.

More new photos and so long to Babushka:)

2010-10-27T01:50:00.007-04:00

Tomorrow is court day at 2:00 and that will put us one giant leap closer to our Marina. They call her Manya here and it seems so endearing when I hear them talk with her. My mom left yesterday afternoon, catching a train to Kiev at 5, getting into the airport at midnight and then a flight at 6:45 am to get home to Greenville Spartanburg airport around 6 44 this evening. She gains 7 hours and my head does not do time-math very well, so hopefully she will just sleep on the plane and not notice what her watch may be doing. We are all so grateful that she came on this trip with us, and Evan had someone to play with while we worked out some obstacles in our own journey. Anyhow it was sad to see her go yesterday but in the name of my poor father's heart, we bid her adieu and will see them all sooner than we can imagine! Time flies here for sure. You hardly get back from one visit before we get off to another. Then Evan starts in on going to the game room or off to a happy meal...and we are still fitting in school in between all our running around! We will start the Ukrainian language class I downloaded when they send me the windows version (somehow I got the Mac). Then we will be working hard! At least I will, I hate not being able to talk with Marina, even though we always get our point across. I just want to know what she is saying. I can't assess her language skills because I do not have any comparative sentences to use. Tully asked Evan what he thought of Marina yesterday, and after contemplating he came up with "She's cute". For a brother, that is commendable! The silly faces he is making in this post is where we told him Marina is older than he is (by 3 whole months). He went with his official coo koo face. We did tell him he would still always be her big brother and would look out for her. I have also seen her in action over a sack of toys and another kid, it may not be all that necessary. Today is a rainy day out side so we will take the dvd player and see how she likes curious george. We have been incredibly fortunate to have the kind of weather that we can play outside every day, and that has been a lot of fun. The kids decided to "rain leaves" right before they went in last night and man, were we all dirty! The leaves came from the sand box and in the hands of maybe 8 kids, and no one had the foresight to realize that handfuls of sand would accommodate the leaves. Right as we were getting ready to separate from Marina, the kids all walked over to the big gates that leave the orphanage...and Marina decided she was simply LEAVING the compound. when she realized she had to stay after much wrestling and discussing with the teacher, she laid her head down on the railing in defeat and it broke my heart for her. She was pretty bent about not being able to leave and would not tell us good bye last night. More and more I long for the day she clears that gate for home. We are simply crazy for her.

Video of Marina's bossing ball game:)

2010-10-23T13:49:00.003-04:00

Sitting at the mall on a Saturday night by the indoor skating rink in Dnipropetrovsk, hoping to upload this video. It is not a great quality and Tully and I were passing the video camera back and forth trying to capture it all. We think it is amazing how hard Marina was working to make us understand the rules, which we failed horribly at. I am surprised she was interested in working with us today but she was amazingly friendly and very funny today. She has the best laugh! Today we all played lots of different games on the playground with all the kids and then the "gram babushka" got on the merry go round and the mouths of all the children fell open...evidently not a lot of grown ups get on that thing. After seeing the color green on mom's face, well it would only be logical. I got a scarf that I really really liked the other day and today I put it on while we were on the playground and one of the kids busted out laughing and said something about my "babushka"scarf. Not sure I like it any more....:) The children here in Marina's place are so beautiful and bright eyed. I wish we could bring them all home. It is too easy to love them. Not sure why they are in an orphanage, but they need parents. And dentists I think. Anyhow will take photos of the groupa if we are allowed. Did I mention you should come get a child too? Do you realize if only ten percent of people who profess to be Christians would adopt a child, there would be no more orphans? On the other hand there are millions that need a home. And every single one who gets a home, is one less orphan. And one less orphan is the goal...remember that starfish story where the little girl is walking along and tossing beached starfish back into the ocean and a man comes along and asks why she is working so hard since she surely can't save them all? She picks one up and says, "I made a difference to this one". And I can't believe how grateful we are to be blessed by this little starfish of ours. You all are going to love her:) Peggy I will talk to anyone that will listen to our story so yes, I would come to sunday school and talk about this journey. Thank you for asking.

At the end of the day today Marina ran over to the goody bag and snagged the color book that was in there. She tucked it under her arm and marched off with her groupa. It was interesting to explain to Evan that she felt that she needed her very own color book for the first time in her life. He got better about it, but it did not sit well until I went over it one more time.

I do have one prayer request. Please, other than our court date, start building a hedge of prayers around Marina's journey home. I get no translator to help me and the flight will be very very long if she decides she does not want to be on it. I know we are nervous about this more than anything. The honor of getting past our court date on the 28th is that we have a ten day wait that will allow us to officially become Marina's parents on November 8th, which would be Orphan Sunday,the official day of acknowledging the call to arms to be aware. I had no idea that this was real. I wish you could be here too. It would change your life forever, and a lot of us need our worlds changed I believe.

I just realized that the video may not load because I am nearly out of battery charge. Ugh, if it does not load I will try again tomorrow. Ok the connection failed after an hour and a half--will maybe upload a 23 second video instead of a 4 minute one if I can, to get you by til tomorrow... sigh-battery has mere seconds left...

We have a court date!

2010-10-22T14:56:00.006-04:00

October 28th at either 2 or 2:30. So we were approved here in this city as well and we are still moving forward!! It has gotten a bit chillier today, so it is the first day I have not sweated my behind off each time we walk in a building. The first visit today Marina spent with my mom and then we came at the end, just to change things up a bit. Marina did well but at one point got very stubborn and would not budge from sitting on the floor in front of the door so the staff finally had to haul Marina back to her room. Then we got there a few minutes later and she got to come back out, so we all went out side to the play ground, where you will find the best photos to date! For the second visit, just Tully and I went because Evan was taking a hard nap (more on lunch later but it delayed the nap long enough so that Evan slept right through the second visit and did not go at all)...Anyhow we went to play with Marina, and I think it was the hardest I have laughed since we have been here. Marina took us to the play ground and conjured up a game with the beach ball where Tully would sit on the merri go round, and I would stand in a very specific place and Marina would kick the ball to me, then I would go sit on the merry go round and it would be Tully's turn. seriously, Marina must think we are the two most special needs people she has ever met. She would fuss and fuss in Ukrainian and then finally get us by the hand and pull us to where we needed to be, according to her rules. If Tully delayed too long or did not stand in the right spot, then he would lose his turn and Marina would make him sit down. Finally she would just get so fed up with us she would sit on the beach ball and just look at us, like we were completely daft. Given that we cannot speak Ukrainian, we are certainly the ones who appear most disabled in our little family group! When she saw her group of friends walk by around 5:30 she was never so relieved to have her language barrier restored and threw us both kisses and hugs and skipped off to play with her current set of siblings, the other children. we do not interfere with this as we believe she will struggle immensely when we come home, even though it is the very absolute best thing that could happen for Marina given her options in about a year or so. In the mean time she can enjoy the best of both worlds.
So, as for lunch, we first walked through the open air market outside since the day was gorgeous and the 4 of us moseyed around checking out the skirts, both on the hangers and on the girls. It is hard not to admire both. These women are the most beautiful in the world so far that I have ever personally seen. I am not going to post any photos here, you can come over and adopt your own child or you can take my word for it. I would opt for choice number one. It is far more amazing than I can put into words. But I digress. Lunch I finally had to call in the cavalry and concede defeat that I could not find pictures of what I would LIKE to have for lunch because we were in some Ukrainian pub with no english menu and only photos of 10 different kinds of sausages fixed that many different ways. We decided to be brave and sit down and take our chances. It was the right choice.AFter calling our facilitator to speak with the waitress we were off and running and finally had our first bowl of Borscht here. If you like dill at all, you would have liked our lunch. It was amazing. (Bouquets of dill garnished our plates, in America we use sprigs, so I gathered it all up and stuck it in a baggie and brought it back for potato salad). Anyhow we had a wonderful time and then finally left the mall, to head back here. Evan and Gram had diverted to a dvd store, to get movies that play in the dvd player here in Ukraine. (ours were all out of region except for the 20 old black and white Alfred Hitchcock movies I brought.) Mom and I went back to the mall after 2nd visit today and took the little mini computer and the magic jack and she began calling folks, starting with my dad. She has only been able to call ME for the last week and that is probably not what she had in mind since I am right here. The only place the Magic jack works for now is at the mall with the free wifi since it is so strong there. Tully is elated as now he feels he can watch the eagles play if we go to the mall on sunday night. Nice to know what it would take for Tully to ask if we can go to the mall....duh, it would have to be a dang football game! So I have yacked and yacked here, maybe it is time to upload my family photos from the day. I will say that if I get to upload video clips I will post the one of her bossing me and Tully today. You can feel sorry for us then:) God has been most amazing and gracious to us this journey and we are very grateful for the prayers that have gotten us to this point.
Love, us.

Today we submit to court!

2010-10-21T00:53:00.008-04:00

You must forgive the sporadic updates, and lack of video. It is a sketchy connection on a good day and I spend more time logging on than I do writing. With that out of the way, I have a few minutes before my bathroom turn and wanted to update some pictures of Marina's current home and also we finally got to play on the playground out side. It had rained and was really really grey, not like a rainy grey but blended with smog or something that made it almost dark outside so I wondered that we would ever get out of playing in the lobby of the orphanage and getting onto that cool little playground. Then yesterday afternoon a warm wind blew a bit of sunshine through and suggested that outside would welcome us after all:) We were originally given the hours of 9-12 and 4-6 for visiting but they soon asked if we could come at 10:30 in the am instead since Marina has speech and snack and likes those very much:) of course we complied so we are not killing ourselves trying to get out the door in the morning now. Between visits yesterday we went to the "wally-mall", the giant megastore that makes every mall in America look crummy, and went to the famed Mcdonalds where you can indeed get raspberry pie instead of apple. Evan was delirious as their happy meals do indeed have toys. We then went to ELC, the kids store educational learning center. Marina has blown past anything I brought to entertain her. She works puzzles and threads beads with precision. The doctor at the orphanage conveyed that only Marina's speech is delayed and everything else is on a typical track. This I believe. Marina was much more warmed up to me yesterday and chose my lap and my help on the puzzle, though I have no idea what the difference was. She did fuss at Tully for trying to help her and her independence is commendable. I cannot say enough that this is the orphanage of dreams. The children are loved and well taken care of. For Marina it would have been the dream before the nightmare had someone not come for her.
Yesterday a major hurdle was cleared for us, the social worker has given us her approval. Today we all trudge to the judge and face another unknown adventure. We will be finished early Marina (facilitator) thinks but we will then go straight to the orphanage for our morning visit. We are unable to add another child to our journey at this time for various reasons so to say I am disappointed would be an understatement. It would have been so much easier to go through this jealousy thing with Evan one time and I feel that we will never have this chance again. I can say so much more but there is no point and we will focus on Marina and Evan and not those left behind.
The picture of the double doors and blue building is Marina's orphanage. I sure wish I could upload a video because her laughter is precious and she was sure generous with it on the play ground! She and Evan do really really well on the playground and they are getting more on balance with each other Evan is enjoying her more and realizes two on a see saw sure work better! Will post more when the internet is agreeable.

Marina is awesome!!

2010-10-18T15:27:00.007-04:00

Where to start seems to be the hardest thing about this post, particularly since this will be my second post since I lost the first one. Marina is just the absolute coolest little kid! She is smart and funny and cute as a button! She has been known to take her play cell phone and high tale it to the grocery store. OF course she did not have permission to wander the aisles and yak away on the cell phone as she shopped and she sure gave the orphanage director a heart attack, but this is the sort of smart little independent thinker we have become ridiculously attached to in a few short hours. She was born at 7lbs 7 ounces but she sure has shot past that! She is solid as she can be, not overweight but heavy! She is an easy size 5/6 and a little shorter than Evan. She is assertive and takes charge of the games, telling everyone who to throw the ball to and where to sit and whose turn it is. So shy, NOT! She is most fond of Tully (papa) and when we got there the second time she ran and jumped straight to him first. It melts the heart. The pictures here on this connection take so long to upload and it is impossible to up load a video. I lost the last blog entry trying to upload the magic ball trick that Marina did. Once she saw Tully pretend to lose the ball and then have it magically appear, she was the next to do the trick. She is too funny and very very happy. When we first met her she was a little freaked out but she is over that part for sure! Wow, so much to say, it is hard to fit it into words. We are so incredibly fortunate to have been drawn our rainbow end to hers. Evan and her will be great friends in time, a little competitive for him right now, but this was to be expected. He is homesick too a little I think. But he likes Marina and makes sure everything he gets in his hands he gets in duplicate, one for him and one for her. He is certainly committed and is doing as well as to be expected with this sort of life change.
Tomorrow Tully and I make the rest of our biggest decisions here in Ukraine and we pray for clarity and peace to overcome any obstacles we face. We ask that you lift us in prayer as well. Will update more tomorrow. The internet connection here is not the high speed deluxe we had in Kiev so no videos or phone calls anymore:) But I was smart enough to buy unlimited email for one month! So you will hear all about this as long as I can get on line:) Thank you again for all who have become a part of this journey. We would not be here without you. As fortunate as Marina has been to end up in this orphanage (as of last May, when she was not even talking yet at age 4 when she was transferred here), it would never last for her but maybe two more years and with each passing year, she would have been a higher and higher risk for the institution, a crime for any child, and now that we love and hug and kiss her, especially for her. This was the right thing to do. I wish more people believed that for their own lives. This change is going to be good for us all...the beginning of the story where I know Cay is truly happy dancing for us all today. Surely she would be proud of how we have let love for her carry forward.

In about 3 hours...

2010-10-18T02:03:00.002-04:00

We should be at the orphanage where Marina is. I cannot believe that as Shelly B. put it, the moment we have met hundreds of people to sign hundreds of papers and shed thousands of tears over, is here. Evan is so excited, he lights up at the mention of her name. We went to the store yesterday and he was already adding to the cart, One for me, one for Marina...one for me, one for Marina. Chocolate and cookies and juice boxes. He is so sweet and is probably the most ready of all. Tully watched the Eagles last night but too bad for him we left that high speed internet in Kiev! Shelly Burman thank you for the air card for the computer. I would have been a mess if I had not had that to at least start the mime conversation with at the Kiyevstar internet store. We did have to walk back to the super mall again, hauling the computer with us. Long story short, we obviously now fixed that problem.
The neighborhoods here are unusual for our current understanding. The inside of the apartments we have seen are so amazing. Perhaps this is because the outside is so incredibly shot out. It looks like government housing...perhaps it is. But like the kind you would see in NYC in the Bronx. The playground is neat, as it has just been built I think. It is right beside an old metal one with hundreds of layers of paint, like the others we have pictures of. The kitchen here looks like Ikea, and is very fancy. Right now it has workmen in it and the nice landlady fixing something with the water or under the sink. We are fortunate to be here. I will try to upload photos later but the camera is in the kitchen right now and there are plenty of people in there already.

Marina (facilitator) is so amazing. She is smart and beautiful and very sweet. Usually all that does not come in one package. She said that little Marina looks like me. Probably why I think all that nice stuff about her haha! I actually am most fascinated that she can be so nice to us and walk so fast, all while wearing the tallest shoes I have seen.
We still have some major hurdles to overcome. For one, I thought we would be able to see baby Anna before making a decision but Serge told us yesterday that we cannot. Personally that is ok by me, but we are still having some discussion here about what we are to do. Please pray for discernment and wisdom. Tully has some logical concerns and I tend to live more by daily faith. Both have their merits when blended, and both have their faults. Again, this is a serious time for us if you could wrap our decision in prayers.
We will also meet Marina's mother this afternoon as well so there will be a lot of bawling I feel sure. I get a lump in my throat every time I even try to picture this really happening.
I am waiting on coffee to be ready so this post is all over the place and if it were a writing project would likely just be handed back for editing, or rewriting. I am also so excited to get ready to go see her. Today she turns from a paper doll into a real live child. One I hope the judge deems ours.

Packing to head for Dnipropetrovsk

2010-10-16T10:49:00.008-04:00

Wow this was a quick first few days! We are packing up to relocate via train at 4:45 am tomorrow! our train leaves at 6:58 and the driver has to make two trips to get both the Dellanos and us to the train station on time, so we get to be first! The cars here are little and our bags are not, so it is a tight squeeze to get everyone and everything in the car. We really did not bring a lot-one bag and one carry on, but times that by 4 people and it looks like we relocated permanently! We are all getting really excited to see Marina, and we get to see her the afternoon on Monday, not sure what time. OF course will update photos as soon as we can! In the meantime, the Dellanos and us all met the Westbrooks from Colorado this afternoon for lunch, and they brought their two little munchkins with them. Their girls are Victoria and Anna, and not sure who is who. They are both under 2 years old by a couple months but not sure by how much, 22 months was the oldest I think. There are also posts of our apartment here in Kiev, at 60 dollars a night. Mom and I shared the cost of a curling iron today when we saw one for 275 hryvnas which is equal to about 35.00 and we were delighted to get to find that at the front of the trip! Children's clothes are a fortune here and quality is not great. Maybe I have just looked in the wrong places? There is a really neat underground mall here, and you access it by taking what looks like subway stairs down underground. This also gets you across the street without getting run over. Tully and I have been amazed that we have not seen one ant or one squirrel. A few dogs and one cat but that's it. The lack of bugs is weird. We have not gotten to see the Independence Square except for driving to and from the SDA but it is impressive...we were usually sitting in good old fashioned city traffic. We are going to finish out all that is in the fridge tonight so we will have omelets for dinner and try to figure out how to sleep for a few minutes before getting up at 3:45. No point in getting up earlier, I am not cooking and we are almost packed. Another day and another fine adventure heading our way! It is a huge help having another family here because we can share what we know with each other. It is also nice that we really enjoy our time together and both hope we are close in proximity for our journey south. It is also nice to have mom here and we all have a little more variety in our day by all of us being here. I would do it again this way if I had to decide again. Evan has been great and Tully is behaving as well:) Since I get to update the story, well you just have to take my word on how I am doing. And I am doing fabulously!

A bonus video of walking around Kiev.

2010-10-15T15:16:00.002-04:00

This was friday afternoon before SDA referral pick up. This nice little jazz band was playing on the street and we thought it was really fun to listen to them. This is alot like NYC but maybe more like Philadelphia on a modeling runway steroid. Everyone here is either handsome, beautiful or exceptionally stylish. No chunky girls unless they are well over 50. Enjoy!

Kiev Day 4!

2010-10-15T14:57:00.008-04:00

Ok for all you who are worried about us, the general concensus here is that Kiev is really cool. The city is quaint and charming and has a certain air of posh and beauty that is not familiar to me in America. It is not better, but maybe different in a really good way. Maybe we expected the worst and I think it is way better than what i expected. We feel safe and enjoy the challenge of making our way around in survival mode. I am sure we amuse the people at the deli, they no longer are rolling their eyes at us but trying to help us. Yes, in 4 days we have come a long way. Today we received our referral paperwork and leave Kiev on Sunday 7 a.m. and head to Dnipropetrovsk. You can google that city but I recommend cut and paste rather than spelling it yourself. We bought a second phone today for mom so we could communicate when we are not all together. It was a whole 40 bucks and I think money well spent. Anyhow the photos are of various things we do around the city. Alot of the stores say no cameras so we abide the best we can. Tully is doing laundry and we just had a great dinner in this evening. Evan is playing Legos and Mom is cleaning and rearranging the apartment...who is surprised?? yeah, no one. So we are having a nice relaxing night in....ask any questions if you have any. Like "does the hair clippers blow up when you plug them in with a converter...? answer "most definitely". We will meet Marina Monday afternoon. It seems so amazing to us. We all are very very excited! Pray for our dreams to be real.

The rest of the photos I was uploading yesterday...

2010-10-14T03:30:00.006-04:00

This is at the pizza place that Evan found. Not only could he locate a big toy store but found his way into a pizza shop that had english subtitles on the menu. What a superior scout he is! He & my mom hamming it up for food:) Later at TGIF he met a precious little girl and they hit it off despite language barriers. Give two kids each a balloon and language becomes secondary to just having fun! And finally, walking home from TGIF at night. I forget how beautiful city lights are....we missed dinner because we did not know what time everyone was meeting and I missed it by a country mile. The other families met at 5:30. I think we had just about finished lunch by then. Perhaps we can try again at the end of the trip and meet fams coming in!

Day one in Kiev

2010-10-13T15:24:00.003-04:00

A view of the market in down town Kiev. I would love to add more photos but it all just locked up. Will work on adding more!

Landed safely

2010-10-13T06:27:00.002-04:00

Once again, the least likely to succeed has made it to the pinnacle with the army of heaven making a way:) I got to meet another adoptive set of parents in Frankfurt. Mel and John, and she and her husband were easy to spot in Frankfurt since they were hauling a stroller around with no kid in it yet!:)
I did not know it was possible to be this tired and still be conscious. Dinner tomorrow night at TGIF and enough groceries to feed a small army. Oh yeah that army would be us. I ventured out to find food like a foraging squirrel and in the mean time Mel was getting first class service from Nico! HA! Now I see how this works...of course Nico showed up right after we got back from grocery shopping and he took us...grocery shopping. Not wanting to hurt his feelings (translate: Need to know what we already bought...") we went right back out to go tour the 'hood. We have wired the tv to the dvd player so all is well. we have internet so all is well. Oh yeah, and the magic jack works amazing from here so my mom is calling everyone she knows. Apartment is large and pretty cool. But it is time to head for bed and get my beautiful self back in order since the competition is so stiff here to look fabulous!!! Oh and Shelly Burman, they took my matches OUT OF MY SUITCASE and left me a note signed by someone in international security. Can't wait for more adventures. I am sure there will be plenty.
By the way, for anyone else traveling, the groceries sell salt and sugar in the same area of the shelf...there are three boxes of salt in the cabinet in the apartment. We are not the first to fall for this sales technique but did taste it before loading up oatmeal with it. Yes, it was salt. It is a reminder I think that we are salt and light, and not to forget it. I laugh and think that sugar would have been a nice reminder for us to be sweet:)
Will update more later but tomorrow we receive our referrals and we need a ton of prayer for that time at the state department of adoption.

Setting sail to a new world....

2010-10-11T07:21:00.003-04:00

I wonder that God has such a sense of humor that He cuts us free on our discovery adventure on Columbus day. Seriously, can you just here Him elbowing Jesus saying I wonder if she'll notice?
And I do. I feel as if we don't really even know what we are setting off to discover. This is the one part of the journey that I have no idea the joys and battles we will face. There is only so much imagination in this brain, and it has exhausted its resources as of this morning. One step at a time, one mountain moved after another. God has proven to be mightier than my faith even, which has been very paltry at times. Every single donation and every saved dime has been allotted and we are completely covered with our known needs. We have just enough checks from work coming in while we are gone to cover our bills. There are still mountains to be relocated but I rest in Romans 8:31. If God is for us who can be against us? That means all of us. He did not fight this for me, he fought this for the children that need a mother and a father. I am not afraid as we head into the middle of this story. I am humbled that God believes in us enough to send us and work through us. We too, are orphans, and he sent a Rescuer for us as well. We lived in a darkness that we did not know was as dark as it was. Until Hope showed up. And the darkness fell away from our lives. Still human, still fallen, but no longer orphans. We have been rescued. May we go with the lesson that we have been taught as we sail on His very own wings today, the wings of obedience.

This probably started out my own personal war. To bring home a child to compensate for the lack of chaos that rang silent in our house after Caylyn passed on. But the need has shown itself not to be about me. Or Tully. Or even Evan. It is about being the vessel of Love that God has molded us into, and broken us to trust Him, so that the light shines through all the cracks of our own weaknesses. Sometimes a voice inside hisses about how I do NOT have to go back into the world of Down syndrome since I was released from its membership. And I know that voice is satan himself. Because I reflect back and there is nothing about Caylyn's life that would make me feel that way...except the leukemia maybe, and that is not relegated only to DS. And honestly, through the battle with Leukemia, I learned that God is waaay closer than we want to believe. I know when I am most broken, God is most close. The more I learn about the needs of the children we are called to go see this week, the more I know He is my strength and my fortress. And once we have seen, we will be responsible, because faith without deeds is dead. The song Albertine by Brooke Fraser has been on a running loop in my head for days now, with those same words if you want to hear music to that line of wisdom. (it is in the tunes player below).
So I know that although we know nothing about how this trip will go, we will go with open heart, open arms, and a willingness to hear Him above all else. I ask that you pray for us to maintain that direction the entire time we are there. Not safe travels or any of that sort of random stuff that would be nice to have of course, but to really know His voice, and to not be afraid to answer Him. I think this is about far more than bringing out orphans. We are light and salt, and we are being sent out as warriors in a crazy war.
The next post will be from Kiev. And I will start posting pictures at some point that will make my droning on a lot more interesting:)

Can anyone say Amen? Like real LOUD???

2010-10-06T18:43:00.002-04:00

Ok, So it has been a few days, and several thousand emotions crashing into each other. None more prevalent than any others, but just a myriad of them all. I have also had a difficult time talking in a straight line. But this post is a direct amazing thank you to the God who always turns out bigger than my imagination. We have received all funds to complete our trip. In less than a week.
I got this in my email box today and it is so perfect to say thanks with...
Strange is our situation here upon earth. Each of us comes for a short visit, not knowing why, yet sometimes seeming to a divine purpose. From the standpoint of daily life, however, there is one thing we do know: That we are here for the sake of others...for the countless unknown souls with whose fate we are connected by a bond of sympathy. Many times a day, I realize how much my outer and inner life is built upon the labors of people, both living and dead, and how earnestly I must exert myself in order to give in return as much as I have received.” -Albert Einstein
Wow, who knew Albert Einstein was so smart??

We leave Monday afternoon and arrive in Kiev on Tuesday. Our SDA appointment for referrals is on Thursday. That sums up what I actually do know about our trip. The rest of the details is in the adventure to come. Pray fervently that God moves mountains and hearts for His will to be done. I already know it will be, but it doesn't hurt to have a cheering squad. And I am sure we would love to continue the hedge of protection that is surrounding us as we face this life changing opportunity.
Thank you thank you thank you to every person who has made this possible for us even to consider going. Starting with our beautiful daughter Caylyn and right up to you, who are reading this and making this journey with us.

We are packing our bags:)

2010-09-29T07:08:00.006-04:00

I can hardly believe this as I type but almost 48 hours ago I received word that we would need to arrive in Kiev on October 12th for our court date with the State Department of Adoption to receive our referral paperwork for Marina on the 14th at 9 am. This has gone from a dreamy state of existence, knowing we would likely travel in October,to hitting the pavement and scrambling like maniacs. It has been a good thing but I feel unprepared by a landslide. I think the reality of it all has taken a giant leap. Understatement number 3.
I wanted to paste this here for an updated photo of Marina (for whatever reason the link is not showing up-will work on this later today)

This is written in Ukrainian and so I would assume that the photo will have to suffice. But without a doubt it is her. A year and a half later than when we started. I am grateful that we have overcome so much. I am astounded how much has been overcome. And how many many other people it takes to make an adoption team. From prayer warriors to fund raising help, to facilitating, and translating, and encouraging words, and notarizing, and homestudy do-overs, and medical form rewrites and medical poking and prodding, and truly I have not even scratched the surface. But it literally takes hundreds of people to assist in a journey like this. And it takes many thousands of dollars. We are still short for our travel expenses by roughly 5 thousand dollars (total cost now around 30k). If there is that extra money designated for humanitarian needs laying around your home, all dusty just waiting for a cause, we humbly submit our own. We have very little time left now and we place this in the hands of God. (we actually did that some time ago for the sake of argument) The bracelets are still available but we have gotten down to limited quantities of about 50 left. The link is on this sight on the right hand column. Donations directly to Reece's Rainbow will be difficult to obtain at this point but direct donations to paypal can be easily accessed. The email addy for our paypal account is foggydogs@yahoo.com.
Alot of people in this world feel like if a family cannot come up with the funds to adopt then maybe they are not supposed to. With that argument, those that have funds, should adopt. Period. And that is not the way life is. I am not a fan of redistribution of wealth unless it is your choice. And I think America is great because so many people do share. For all of those who have donated, I thank you from the very bottom of our hearts. Marina will indeed have an opportunity to have a real home, with real love and real family. Money can't buy happiness but it really can change a circumstance. If you feel lead to donate we have about a week to process this as it takes three days for Paypal to release funds to us. Therefore, time is essential to deciding. There is now a Paypal donate button at the top of Marina's photo on the right hand side. NO amount is too small if you feel lead to donate.
Countdown to travel, 12 days.

It has wings...

2010-09-19T09:34:00.002-04:00

I have so many people to thank for the fact that our last papers are apostilled and have left the country....the fbi report came on thursday and my supervisor from US Air gave up one coveted buddy pass for flight on friday to DC to have the papers authenticated and sent on to Ukraine. But even with these simple words, realize that God has placed people in my life years before I even had a clue where we would be today, and yet there they were, ready to help. That is very humbling to know that with God all things are possible. I posted this to Reeces rainbow after I touched back down on our local tarmac hours after the time I had left, and had time to let the exhaustion wash over me...I have read it several times to encourage my own faith, and realize that most of the time, the words I write are more for me than from me. (I claim that none of them are from me since I am usually surprised by the messages to me within them) All I know is that they seem wiser than I feel, every single time. With clarity I know this is ultimately not about me or this family at all, and yet in the regard of giving it up to heaven, it is free to be in God's hands, and I am only a means to His end.

"The war is on those children, and it always has been...from the days where they were first to go in Nazi Germany, and days before that when they were drowned at birth, and here in America where we have been convinced that we are saving them by aborting them...and institutions where they die slow or maybe not so slow but completely lonely...
The pain for the enemy when people truly walk the walk and reach across to love these children who respond in love even though they have never seen it, well the enemy's pain must twist him into remembering what Jesus did for us. It is easy to bring the fight down to our level and think that it is against the proverbial "me" but it isn't. It is about completing the things God has set before us. And the fight is over us all and about glorifying God. If you have not come to a point of following God yet, then this probably sounds like nonsense, but imagine it were true. The consistency is overwhelming in the intensity of the battle. And when we reach out for someone who needs us to teach them that love is real, I am always surprised that birds don't sing and the deer sprint on cue, but instead demons roaming the earth start hollering and pointing, so we can be attacked. And angels fight over our heads and great throngs cheer for us in heaven. But in battle that stuff gets forgotten because of what is right in front of me making me crazy for the day.
I finished a book last night that I started yesterday on the flight, and for that I will be really grateful to have had that time. If you can get your hands on a book called Radical by David Platt it is a great read, particularly in light of the fact that we are going overseas for these children. It puts it more into perspective. and talks about persecution. I know I am to be honored and humbled to suffer for this cause but I get so caught up in ME and tired of being inconvenienced and having the hope pulled out from under me. This is where my faith is struggling, because I should be thrilled to have come this far. If it weren't for the longing in my heart to hear the voices of the children, maybe I would be more rational about it.

Yes it is amazing what a glass of red wine and a hot shower and sleep can do for a person. but that is nothing compared to what prayer has done even over night. You all are priceless and thank you for being in this band of rainbow warriors. May God bless you richly, and may the target on your back fade in the sunlight. Pray for us still and I do the same for you. We need each other more than you could ever know."

No matter what is decided as to our travels and dreams to bring home whom we are intending, I can now trust that God is in the ultimate seat of control and I have done what I could to comply with the requests placed on us. It has been hard for me to let go...and I know I was never in control anyway...for even my determination is a gift from God. ( some certain husband might beg to differ that it is a gift:)

Pray for God's will to be done and the battle will be won. Psalms 60:12

And suddenly starts looking like Forever again...

2010-09-07T10:50:00.002-04:00

Time to update again. I usually have to wait a few days after receiving news of epic proportions so I have time to digest it myself. In a nutshell we were submitted and then the state department of adoption reciprocated with request for more information. The kind that is not laying around my house in a neat little pile. The kind that is sort of hard to get. But not impossible with prayer. A couple plans are in place to obtain requested paperwork and prayers would be truly gobbled up in appreciation. Prayers that no one has any more difficult requests. Prayers that Evan still believes us when we say we are going to get Marina. Prayers that we are not lying to him. And prayers that the papers we need will be in hand by the end of this week. So they can be apostilled, UPS'd over to the tune of another hundred dollars and translated in a way that is satisfying to all who ask for these papers. We are so close, and yet still so far. Because maybe is still not yes. It is definitely not a NO but it is sure not a Yes...pray for a yes. Thanks.

Forever becomes suddenly

2010-08-26T16:11:00.002-04:00

Suddenly we find ourselves as the family who was submitted today. Our huge dossier was successfully passed to the state department of adoption and we await a travel date now. It is a different kind of waiting...the kind where you know the rollercoaster is locked down and you are in the seat. Not quite any speed yet, but you know in about the next few seconds it will take off, and mess up your hair as hands raised, it is not a place to get back off the rollercoaster. we are not afraid, just filled with anticipation. Giddy new parent anticipation. She is so dang cute! Caylyn is doing the happy dance on a cloud for us I feel sure. It is odd to think how they will be sisters, but not in the same time zone. I would tell Evan today but he will immediately ask me if we leave tomorrow. He asks me that nearly every single day. I am going to go wander around this quiet house and think about all of this now. Pray for us as we journey forth. It has been exactly 16 months to the day that we committed to Marina. When my dad asked me today what it means that we were submitted, my mom immediately answered...it means you have one more christmas present to buy this year:) Pray that nothing goes wrong, nothing goes south and no hearts are broken in any way along this journey. We really are fragile people and at this point need a clean and uneventful trip. No messy stuff. I think I spent all my fierceness in the last 16 months. But you never know. We follow a mighty God and he is forever wandering off the path of safety. Oh lets not even go thinking along those lines!! It is a victory day for sure.

The mundane part of waiting

2010-08-21T08:42:00.002-04:00

It has been a while since I wanted to write or could find the time but here it is Saturday morning near the end of August. The home study update has left this country by way of the postal service and a back up copy was hand delivered and yet their plane was delayed just enough. Neither got there in time to be submitted last week. As this has stayed with the theme of running into brick walls in my opinion, I took this rather hard. I have become and insolent child. Sulking and whining. Feeling sorry for us. What is behind that is the fact that I am tired of chasing and doing and gathering and trying so hard to have it fall short yet again. It is discouraging and yet I should be so happy that everything is there! We are truly free from chasing stuff for the moment. I say that warily since the last several times I mentioned this it turned out to be not quite true and anything can, (AND DOES) happen along the path of life.
We continue to pray for safety and well keeping of Marina, as well as the other children. But this is a fallen world and I don't know what praying does exactly. I just want to get there. I believe that we are going but the delay is wearing me thin. The fight has been exhausting and we have not even met her yet. I do not know what else will occur with this journey but we are being conditioned not to quit. I do have an updated picture of Marina, but have decided not to post it here because open blogs have become a problem for some of the parents on RR. One family nearly lost their child referral because another parent stepped in and tried to out maneuver them to get there first. I can't explain it but there is alot going on in this world that we simply cannot see and should not trust. Frankly, it is a war. Maybe that is exactly where prayer can make a difference. Please if you find the time, pray that God's will be done, and we accomplish what He has set out for our journey. Submission of papers should happen next week or perhaps September 2nd. I will believe it when it happens.

Quick update

2010-08-11T08:13:00.003-04:00

This will be short because I am running way behind today but I wanted to update to let those of you praying know that we had our home study update visit at 8 am on Sunday morning this past week. Immigration (USCIS) here in the united states no longer accepts addendums nor are they located in each state anymore, they have been centralized (socialized???) and the result is a full blown home study update with new police background clearances, referrals, home visit, etc. We are waiting for it to be written up and approved again but not sure by whom it needs to be approved by, then there is another family traveling to Ukraine this weekend who will take it if I can get it to them on time. I do not know what all is involved with an home study update other than another 400.00 (before shipping haha) but will pray that it is done soon so I can take it to Columbia to get it apostilled and sent to Tennessee on time to make the plane. I can't imagine anything else needing to be redone but I could not imagine this either so I just gather what I am told and complete MY tasks in as timely a fashion as I can...I let God worry about everyone else. Thanks for checking on us. Cath

Waiting for what? Commuication malfunction leads to waterboarding

2010-08-01T07:26:00.004-04:00

Reminds me of the wardrobe malfunction flash a few years ago. Like waterboarding can be seen as an intense hydrotherapy exercise. So the point of this post? To say that we are still waiting to be submitted because the communication from Ukraine to one person was that my homestudy needed amended to remain in the game of keeping the papers within the 6 month window of non-expiration. Unfortunately the person who was supposed to tell ME that got word that everything was fine. Another 5 weeks wasted. Another 200.00 to get the stupid piece of paper, and drive to the state capital 95 miles each way, and ship it overnight express to an office 5497 miles from here...overnight express is another oxymoron...it takes three days usually. So if I get it there on THURSDAY that is the day for submissions and it sits around for another week because they only take adoption submissions for special needs kids on Thursdays. I should have realized that this is the impossible dream. To have something go right in this process. I can hardly wait til we get there and all this goes wrong in a language I cannot possibly comprehend.
And if even one person tells me not to worry because God is in control I will virtually punch you in the virtual eye. This is flat out spiritual warfare and we have a target on our back. It makes me worry that much harder because I know that things are not as they seem on this planet. Even though I know who wins the war, I am still in the battle and it is getting ugly all around me. And I think I know what hydrotherapy feels like, because I truly think I am going to drown in this paperwork. This at times has been exciting and filled with wonder, but most of it has turned to drudgery and defeat. The joy is hiding somewhere but it is not in this process. I pray that Marina stays safe and out of the arrows. And may God twist this attack and use it to change this defeated mom's efforts into a hail mary pass with a score.

And one more thing. Whoever you are posting in the oriental language, I do not know you and I cannot read what you write. Since one little message link has lead to a porn sight you are being moderated and none of your posts will show up here anymore. If you are kind and good, I welcome your prayers, but I suspect this is nothing that has to do with this journey.

Last week I went to the bank and the question "Why not adopt from the United States?" came around. For one, that is not what God lead us to because Marina is not in the United States. The children who get the diagnosis in the United States that they have a genetic abnormality hit the abortion rate of 92%, then about 6% are kept and the other 2% get placed for adoption....where the wait is 2 or more years because there is a demand that outweighs the supply so to speak. In eastern europe the kids with special needs are deemed less than a human being and are not always treated very well and are headed straight down a path to a good ole 1950's type insane asylum. This has a very bleak effect on the longevity of their life span. This breaks my heart to see something that is so misunderstood be treated so poorly. So this is what the ears of my heart are tuned to hear- the cry of orphans far away that absolutely no one is considering unless you count the 200 people I know trying to navigate this journey towards an estimated 10,000 children who have been diagnosed with Down Syndrome. You do the math.
I move on to getting a quote at a mechanics for something and I get the question "is there anything wrong with the kid you are adopting?" No, she has down syndrome but there isn't anything wrong with her health. "Well, why don't you just wait til they can get you a kid with nothing wrong?" Because I want this one and there is nothing wrong with her. "Well, I guess them kids need somebody to love 'em too." Crimony.

It amazes me how many people have an opinion of what needs to be done in this world and they themselves are doing NOTHING. Now I have to say that the circle of you that I know are generally on board with this in ways that are incredibly supportive. Either you knew Caylyn or your heart has ears too because God cleared them on your own life journey. And I cannot tell you how grateful I am for your support. Because this battle is hard enough with people lifting your earth journey in prayer. I think prayer at the very least keeps hope alive. That is how my own heart took up beating again when it was on its way to being petrified stone. "Call to me and I will show you great and mighty things that you do not know". Boy that's life wide open. Great and Mighty. And believe me, there is ALOT I do not know. But I know I am here to live my life wide open for a purpose until I get to where I am headed at the end of this road. I would be lying if I said I did not wish 4-wheeling with Jesus were not so complicated and the paperwork was not so full of hydrotherapy.

Submission date coming up fast!

2010-07-17T08:10:00.002-04:00

We were notified that our papers are being translated and will be submitted to the Adoption department in Eastern Europe on thursday the 22nd. This means we should have a travel date once they approve us...again, we are being "approved" by people even further away and having no real picture of what we are like except on paper. This is pretty amazing to me for some reason. But whatever works you know. We have been at this for 14 months now and at this point I am grateful for the few weeks that we have not been asked for any papers by anyone. I know we will travel soon and we are nervous to be honest. We are running full steam into the unknown. Come to think of it, isn't that what we do every day? Raising funds has slowed down but I know that I am to trust God on this. He has come through always for us.
For any of you that have donated directly to us, it is sitting in an account designated to traveling to get Marina. Recently in the health care bill their has been a change to the adoption credit sneaked in around page 906...it states that the funds not supplied by grants but used for adoption expenses will be returned in the form of a tax refund rather than a tax credit. It also has had the maximum amount raised to just over $13,000.00 We feel at this point that we can do better in the long run by focusing more on adding to our adoption account because we will be able to utilize the refund to assist more orphans when it is refunded. Simply put, we obtain donation "gifts" and use them for adoption, then when the tax refund comes, we can pay it forward by donating to Reeces Rainbow with that money next year. Its like we get to use it twice. For larger donations that we have received we are keeping the records necessary to make sure the donation is made in your name next year by money order and you will get the tax credit next year. I have taken lots of space here to make the point that if you are thinking of donating, and you can wait for the credit for next year, you can actually help by getting double usage out of your donation by donating directly to us. You can help us this year and we donate that amount next year out of the refund. That tax credit of over 13,000 is set to expire at the end of 2011 in case anyone is thinking of adopting and needs a reason to do it this year rather than later on....later on it rolls back to way less than half that amount. Makes ya wonder who benefited from throwing that in the health bill for such a short run, doesn't it?

I hope I explained that well enough. If not, sign the post and I will post the actual link to the new information on this adoption refund change. Thanks for your prayers along the way. I know we could not have done any of this on our own...because when two or more are gathered in His name....and man, you all must have really done some gathering of prayers is all I can say. Climbing Mt. Everest has nothing on adoption. But we are finally at the point where the papers are turning into a little girl who will be coming home. I thank Julie Nalle adopting Aaron, for her sweet disposition of carrying our dossier to our facilitator across the water and hand delivering it to her. Micah Six Eight is her story. They live outside of Charlottesville VA and I think it is important to understand that we became friends months ago on the Reece's rainbow chat sight because we both have great friends in Hopkins Belize. When you realize Hopkins has about a thousand people in it, and America has loads of people in it, and only a handful of people actually adopt a special needs orphan internationally, the fact that we were destined to meet up again in the time line we did is without a doubt an orchestration of God's hand. I was trying to figure out who would be leaving for Ukraine next out of our group and at that moment a comment came across the computer on this blog to be moderated. (I had to do that moderate comments thing due to the amount of viral activity and porn sights that were linked to the chinese signatures-weirdos-happening in a lot of RR blog sights). Anyway the comment was from Julie and she was leaving in 4 days. Our dossier went out from Columbia SC since we apostilled it that same day and that evening 3 minutes before the post office closed I watched a very loving postal worker chuck the paperwork beasty into a large mail bin. Godspeed beast. Across the south, into the mountains, into a bag, and onto a plane...across the water, thousands of hours of effort and then translating that effort, to bring Marina home. Now the journey begins...

The girl in the photos...

2010-07-07T07:26:00.002-04:00

is NOT Marina! I am sad to say that the updated photos I had posted have been confirmed that it is someone else because that someone else is 120 kilometers from where Marina is residing. So we are back to the babyish photo as our last image of her. The problem is that the new image burns a desire for more information about that child...she is not listed on RR so I do not know anything about her other than where she is and that she does not walk. So other than being totally precious, and wiggling her way into my prayers because I thought she is who we would be bringing home...we know nothing of her. No name no anything. Not even if she is available. Please pray for that little girl to be "discovered" so someone can scoop her right up and bask in the sunshine of that smile!!
Evan and I are taking the day to travel to Columbia and have the papers apostilled while we enjoy the Edventure Museum. Then I can send them to Ukraine tomorrow. Wheee, that makes my tummy flip just considering letting this dossier out of my hands! I want to carry it over there myself just in case....of what I don't know. But just in case. OF course that is a little pricey of a delivery so I will have to immediately scrap that idea....
Posting updates as we move forward...and I bet it gets faster from here on out!! Yeeee Haaa!

July 1, 2010

2010-07-02T07:17:00.002-04:00

Should be remembered here as the day a great battle was won...immigration gave us a favorable finding in our application to adopt an orphan. Marina is coming home! I wanted to post last night but work has been so incredibly busy and I got home so late and tired, not to mention just exhausted from finally getting the news. Tully had it in the car all day not realizing that was the paper I have worn a path to the mailbox looking for...but nonetheless here it is. I woke up this morning and all I could say was Thank you. It seems like the first time in so very very long that I did not go to sleep with a beggars prayer on my heart and wake up the same way...I have been begging God for something about this adoption and then something about Caylyn before that for the last several years (4!!) Today all I can say is thank you. Thank you that there is a heaven at all. Thank you there is God. Thank you that God is love and not something bad. Thank you that He made us a way to be there with Him some day and talk with Him now. Thank You probably needs to be bigger...
Today we send the papers to be apostilled after scanning them all in for everyone to see stateside and approve. This is a final check and we can fix anything that needs possibly fixing, though I cannot imagine what that might entail by now...and yet surely something:)
Once everything is apostilled (notarizing the notary at state level), then the dossier ships to our facilitator in Ukraine where it is translated and interpol clearance is run and the application submitted to their State Department of Adoption. They give us a travel date and it is on at that point to travel...
Wow, I can't believe we got that thing after so long...amazing.

Not approved yet, but a beautiful post:)

2010-06-25T07:18:00.005-04:00

This week has been filled with the sort of anxiety that I can equate to being in the hospital with Caylyn and could not change the way things were going, slowly and unequivocally not the way I desired.
When things should be different and the world should be different and life is terribly unfair to so many who do not deserve it. I pray and I am frustrated because I do not receive an instant different answer...well, I can hardly say instant now, can I? Marina has waited 14 months so far for us to be able to come to her. That is utterly ridiculous in a day and time such as this. I was so tired of being ignored by immigration this past week to the point that I was convinced our case worker did not even work there any more. I would never be so rude as to totally ignore a person who continually asked the viable question of "Do you have every thing you need? Did the papers all arrive?". I descended on our local Congressional HR Representative more than a week ago as well and SHE took more than a week to call me back, too. I went to the local field office for immigration and someone should give her a medal for dealing with me with the grace she had. I have been in that office three times for information-one just general stuff, one because our fingerprint appointments were not being made, and then to see what the heck was going on currently...it has been since June 1st that I expected everything to be there on the officer's desk...today is the 25th and nothing...so that woman in the field office let me cry while I fussed about rudeness...when it was really just my heart breaking in frustration and sadness for Marina. So the lady wrote our agent and email as I stood there and and listened as she read it back...she was a good editor and left out the sniffling and other sounds....then I left. I got the call later that afternoon from Representative Inglis's office that our case was next on the desk and we should hear something in several weeks. I believe "blew a gasket" was the term we are looking for here. Evidently we could potentially wait 3 months after all the paperwork has arrived at immigration. And they are working on an emergency case...Oh really? Well I think mine is pretty much an emergency case. It is not like we are buying a boat or something and the delivery is off...Marina is not a luxury item that has been placed on hold for our fancy! Every day of not knowing LOVE is the biggest disaster in anyone's existence and sets each and every child back further into sadness and hopelessness. For more than 425 days she has sat around waiting on us. Because that is what they do, they sit. I had a mom who met Marina last month and did not realize it was Marina. The mom fell in love with her and sent the pictures to Reece's Rainbow to see if the child could be identified. The child is not walking and was propped on a ride on toy every day that she was seen by this mom. The child's muscle tone is very very low in her neck and arms and legs and torso...and serious doubts that the child can even walk... perhaps it is all the prayers for her daily, many times a day, that has kept the light in her eyes and a smile on her little lips. Then the information was relayed to the mom who had inquired about her...everyone agrees it is Marina. I have a new picture:) And the Mom who cared enough after bringing home 3, to inquire about this child too, is Shelly. My friend across the miles who is an amazing cheerleader and confidant and drove her beautiful family here so I could brush little Yulia's hair from her face and hear her giggle in person as she went crazy in the swimming pool, is the one who God used to snap this picture while in eastern Europe and bring it home to me, practically hand delivered all the way from Texas:)
I know God is protecting Marina, because I ask this of Him more than anything else through out the day. I need to realize that when I say this is out of my hands, that it is not. I have completed my list, and have freed up my time to pray even more for those who are involved in all of this crazy journey. I believe truly that we are next. Pray with us for Godspeed, undeniable Godspeed. After that terrible day of emotional explosion over not getting answers, at the end of the day something interesting happened...I was at the Vacation bible school family rodeo night with Evan and Tully and we were in a sea of children, I think I mean that literally, and we were milling around the petting zoo filled with rescue animals...and the phone rang from an area code from our state capital. The social services agent who has been pulling for us for so long, called to see how we were doing. It was the first time I had ever spoken with her. And just for the record, she found all our original papers that were misplaced when they were approving us last Christmas.
When it gets too much, really really too much, and something unusual happens out of the blue, in a way that timing is too specific, I can trust that God has used someone to physically relay that He is there. And He knows the insides of our hearts where we keep the hurt and anxiety. Again, we are so often the arms of Jesus for someone else, reaching out to convey love. Don't ignore the whispers to do something out of the ordinary. Her call at that moment in time spoke volumes more to me than she may ever know.
Praying for all of the children, there are sooo many who will never have a fighter come to their rescue this side of Heaven. I think often of the story, " I would cry out to God and ask him why there are so many orphans without loving parents to hug them and love them and keep them secure, but in reality I know He should ask us the same thing". This world is so upside down. I hope our next post will be of our approval from immigration rather than my standard lamenting.

The balance beam....

2010-06-16T18:57:00.002-04:00

Proverbs 3v27
Do not withhold good from those to whom it is due,
When it is in the power of your hand to do so.

And I wonder and marvel that it takes so long to re-read and approve a document. I simply do not understand this elaborate waiting game...no one in Ukraine does either as I am prodded to send a poke or two in the direction of the agency who holds the cards...14 months of waiting and filling out papers and chasing 25 year old documents and 14 year old documents and 10 year old documents....enlisting governors and enlisting congressmen as of today...so maybe tomorrow or tomorrow or the tomorrow after that. I wait, we all wait, but mostly, Marina waits. And I will not do any more fundraising until we know for sure we are approved. I assume the officer in charge of our case has read our paperwork since she was able to construct such a magnificent shopping list. Now that the ingredients are sitting on her desk, it feels like she can't bake the cake for some reason. I KNOW it has been read already or the list would not have materialized. I know they are thinking of approving us or they would not have asked for the list of paperwork, they simply would have denied us. Every paper we sent them exonerates any question that our fines or penalties were indeed satisfied. And yet at every step of the way, someone takes as long as humanly possible to drag this out. It defies logic. 90 days for department of social services...70+ days for immigration, 4 months for the pardon and parole board...2 weeks here and two weeks there...for a total of 14 months and counting. I am tired of standing on the beam. I want the answer and I want it soon. Like by tomorrow. Does NO ONE CARE about Marina but us? Did I have to mention how much I am learning to hate government agencies? No wonder we have an immigration problem. Who the heck wants to use the front door? Nothing like having a bunch of people who are no better than anyone else judging and sizing everyone up through a bunch of pieces of paper designed to show off the bad stuff....

I want off this beam and I want what is on the other side...a home with Marina. For Marina. By the sacrifice of Caylyn. Like I said, maybe tomorrow.

I would transition and write all about meeting Shelly and the Burman clan but am in a funk right now and would probably do better if I went to make Evan some dinner...I would not do the visit justice right now...but will post when the storm in my soul blows over.

Anxiously waiting for "the words" approved!

2010-05-30T20:02:00.002-04:00

Once again I am gripped by the anxiety of waiting. Please pray that our immigration case worker has a totally wonderful relaxing Looong weekend. Because when she comes into the office on Tuesday, there sitting on her desk will be the last few papers she has asked me for. Zip Zally done. That's it. She either makes or breaks us at this point. Maybe if she has a great weekend she will find herself in an inexplicably good mood, and type that little 171h right up and mail it to us. I cannot believe how far we have come and how little faith I still manage to fall short with. I know GOD can do it, I am not quite certain that the officer in charge listens with the same set of ears or even the same heart. So that's the request....thanks ladies and gents for being a part of this. It is so much more than a little blog about children in need. The need is larger than you can ever know...
Cathy, wanting to get Marina really really soon...

Thanks for checking on me, as I said before, maybe this is really the week. Nothing else to gather!Please...let there be nothing else to gather...!!!

Getting closer?

2010-04-18T07:49:00.002-04:00

I have been diligent on replacing the forms that were unacceptable for our dossier this past week. I had the original dossier scanned in and emailed to a couple of stateside checkpoints but did not give them enough time to respond before I had to make a decision to send our dossier as it was, over to Ukraine by hitching a ride with another adopting mom in Ohio on her way over to EEurope. It was then that I got the many words that our dossier had some flaws. These flaws
were for the most part, cosmetic. Ukraine will not allow the notary stamp to be touching any ink on the page. None. That alone would have wiped out half my dossier because in SC the method of choice is to tie the notary workings together by stamping the embossed seal over everything. I could only do what I could do. I got mad as I was allowed and seethed on the inside for two days. Then I started over. Totally and completely over. This gives me something to do as I wait for Livescan fingerprinting which now handles NY database for all background checks to run my prints in Illinois so we can assess that I paid a fine from an incident in NY 25 years ago. Let me be clear when I say, never try to lie to immigration. They are like your mama, they already know what you did, and are only waiting to see if you own up to it, no matter how small. If you ever consider adoption, do not take the Bill Clinton route...just be honest instead. No one seems to care when you are honest but they will remember and roast you over the coals if you lie....with that being said, yes, I was honest with Immigration. But we wait for confirmation before they can approve us.

In the meantime, the sky is now black over Europe and the Volcano in Iceland is getting worse instead of better. I am so sure that the parents who are working so hard to bring these children home, have climbed many mountains of obstacles and paperwork but there was never a pending volcano listed on things to watch out for. A reminder, that God is bigger than we are and can do what He deems necessary for the good of someone lost, and not at the comfort of those who are "found". And yet he knows about all of us. It will work together for paths to cross that normally would not, that hearts will have new opportunities because life is happening out of the ordinary for so many. I prefer to place my hope in the loom from the view of above it, rather than the strings hanging down all across the backside of the big picture. I think that is the essense of faith and trust. With that being said, I struggle daily when obtaining paperwork that no one will ever look at again taxes my very being with frustration. So it faith easy? No, it is not the easy way to travel...but it is the safest place for me to allow my heart to remain alive and hopeful. If this world was all there was, I would be dark in the middle of my soul. Which technically would not even exist. Man, I do not even want to think about that!

As I was struggling with that faith and path thing about getting to Ukraine and seeing Marina and just questioning the ending of this journey from here and actually getting on a plane to there, I was feeling completely rained on. The NO Umbrella big fat pity party sort of storm. And the mail came yesterday with a total of a thousand dollar donation attached in there...for bringing Marina home. It felt like a thousand promises. I was overwhelmed not only by the amount but by the timing. The out of the blue timing....and God said, yes, you will get there.
I have been hesitant to raise further awareness of our pending financial need because I wanted to be sure we will travel before we load the account with funds that will revert to Marina in the case we are denied. But that is not quite right. Because if we love her like we say we do, if something were to happen, we would want her to have a family immediately. No matter that it would break my heart for it not to be us. So I will look into a big idea I have been mulling around in the last few weeks and see if it is doable in the upcoming month....it is a groovy fundraiser idea if it works, so I will not mention it yet. Many questions need answered first, primarily a location.
Please pray for the parents who are trapped here and cannot travel because Kiev has shut down from the volcano ash and please pray for the parents who have gone through so much and have little funding left, and are trapped in Kiev for the same reason. I posted a blog in my last post but she had to make it private the same day I did so, please forgive and disregard.
We are working hard, so if I am quiet in my posts, it is not because I am idling away my time. It is because I am afraid to whine about the paperwork and dissuade someone else from saving a child...this is not about expanding our family anymore. It is about their being a serious huge sad need for love in this world. I cannot love all of the children because that is asking too much. But if we each love one in some way, they will find homes and their lives will not be lost for the remainder of earth. This can be done in different ways....by prayer, diligent daily support...by committing to your own orphan and bringing them hope, by financially supporting a family adopting (anyone! it does not have to be me!) ...by spreading the awareness that the need is tremendous. Doing anything is better than doing nothing. Answer your own heart if it speaks. It is the podium for the spirit of God.
Cathy

Why? Why? Deleted post....

2010-04-08T20:12:00.003-04:00

It has been suggested that anyone who shared the post that I had posted here earlier this week take it down lest it jeopardize the adoption process we fight so hard to clear. So I have taken it down. Let it suffice to say that the need to adopt is not one born out of selfish love. It may start out that way but the more we discover along the way, the more we know it is in the best interest of the child to find them a home. It is bigger than you can ever imagine what we have said yes to. We blindly share hope and it must be really something. We have encountered monster sized issues that can only be attributed to spiritual warfare...and we will conquer because of whose side we battle in the name of.

Change is in the wind

2010-04-02T06:47:00.002-04:00

Wow has it only been just a week since I wrote on here? It feels like sooooo much has happened in the last little while that it is nearly impossible to consider it has been mere days. My friend Shelly has arrived in Ukraine and has been very instrumental in a) making me green with envy for being there and 2) letting me know that the facilitator had found out that little Marina's director was planning on having her transferred to an institution with a one way door--IN, not out. I completely went in to overdrive and gathered the last few papers to have apostilled in Columbia, an easy 94 miles each way. That was monday, and as I was there I realized I did not have State police clearance papers in my possession, only in the home study. Ukraine wants them separate, so I went to SLED for another background check, and found out they do not open to the public but have to be dealt with via the mail. I called the SLED office and struck by a heavenly beam of grace, the lady filled her good deed quota of the day (year?) and told me to go get a 50 dollar money order and she would hand them to me right then. I flew back to the grocery down the block, complied and was back in 20 minutes. She told me that she never does that but when she heard it was Ukraine, she really changed her mind....someone in her office had adopted from there and she knew it was crucial. I left there with precious papers in hand, and went to the state department for apostilling of 34 pages of paper. She asked if I could leave them and come back the next day to pick them up. My stomach fell out the bottom feeling certain that fire and/or flood would overtake the capital on just this very night if I let them out of my sight but nto having packed pajamas and counting the people in her office, I left and came home. Returning the next day, with Evan in tow, I was told that in order to have the pardon apostilled I needed to have it notarized...well then what was that little seal raised over his signature for?? It was the Pardon and Parole official stamp...dragging over to the Pardon board across town it took me an hour to convince them I had to have the stamp of a notary saying the stamp was certified. This was out of their comfort zone but with nearly 8 people concurring, it was done and we were back on our way to the apostille office...Evan has lost his joy at this adventure for sure. I may add I am right there with him. We are finally finished at 4:30 and get directions to a children's museum that promptly closes at 5, right along with the zoo.:( We are very disappointed and head home, at 5 oclock travel time. Sitting in traffic at a dead stop, I look over and see, no kidding, a chuck e cheese on the frontage road of the next exit. Like a good mama I crawl the car across three lanes of unwilling travelers and we settle for that as our reward for the day. evan pals up with a little boy who is 6 and plays super hard for the next hour and a half...Getting home at 9 pm we are ever so tired!! I check email and find a letter from immigration that asks for 9 more items. I am devastated at this and can hardly sleep. But I had already ordered some of the papers i thought might have been misplaced by DSS so I was ready somewhat. The next day I spent the morning getting more court papers and more fingerprints etc etc. By 2 pm I had ordered and/or gathered everything on that list, even the obscure items. Tully's mom will pick up the rest at the courthouse in PA on monday. In the meantime I have found another family who will take my dossier to Ukraine with them on Tuesday of this next week. Other than not having a travel tracking number this is also a miracle in itself. That I am ready and they are walking out the door saves me shipping charges of nearly 120.00. Most importantly it will allow them to get started translating it all now and perhaps let Marina's orphanage director know our papers have arrived.
It has been spring break time around here, work has been a little slow (grateful for that!) and my mom has located a heat pump for us that is going to be installed next week, right after it hits nearly 90* today! Did I say SPRING? It has been a long winter and now seems as if it is instant summer. The way this adoption has all fallen into place has made it impossible to raise funds because it is too hard to ask for help when we do not have 100% knowledge that we are going to be approved. We only have 100% hope and determination and prayers and a mighty God who is not surprised by any of this...that duh huh look is reserved for us:) However with this being said, I am trusting that we will travel in the very near future to go see Marina and bring her home. Time is of the essence is a cliche that is well over used, but the wheels are picking up steam and we have to make sure we are obedient in all we can do to get her. God will move the mountains, and we better be ready when He does.
We are looking forward to a special easter weekend with Tully's mom/gramma Sue coming in this morning from PA and Evan can hardly wait to teach her how to play video games...I bet she has other plans for him:)
Remember that easter is the time in Christs life where everything changed...where hope drained with his life...and it was restored to us through his resurrection. God has some amazing ideas on how to pull us out of the hole every time. I discover this daily. I am reminded of how it is there for everyone especially as we celebrate so much more than bunnies and eggs and fancy dresses this weekend. May we all find time to reflect and give thanks for this Hope. The world would be radically different without it.
I close this post with a note that the kids from Belize came in 9th in the overall competition and that is better than last year and I am very proud of them! They are back in Belize as I spoke with them while sitting at Chuck e cheese's on Tuesday night and they all called to say goodbye. I don't know for sure that I will ever see them again here on earth, but I smile knowing I will see them again. They are an awesome group of kids, lead by an awesome team of women. The kind of women I want to be like when I grow up.
Sharing Shelly's blog here-- Burman Bunch
Her kids are so cute! I think I conjured her up out of a fairy tale to be honest, I wanted little Yulia to have a mama so much! And now Shelly is loving on that sweet little girl and reaping the rewards of a tough journey. And that is why I am green with envy for her:) Our dossier leaves this morning, please pray.

Evan's Birthday

2010-03-25T07:29:00.003-04:00

This past WEEK was Evan's birthday...and we celebrated constantly in the way of surprises that kept showing up. His party was at the Karate school, and it is by far the best party in town. That young man played those kids into exhaustion and they Loved it!It was his kids from school and was just the right size for activities. Evan did get his Wii and it really has been fun for our family, though I play it very little. The day of Evan's birthday we hosted our friend from Belize, Sharon Arthurs and her team of bible quiz members, 4 kids from ages 10-12 and 2 more chaperones. We had an absolute blast with them here and enjoyed the short time with them immensely. Evan loved the kids and they were gracious to meet him on his level of interest and play. The kids did a demonstration of how they answer the questions and have also memorized the book of 1st Corinthians. Yes, all 31 verses. It was both impressive and humbling to say the least. We ended the time together by going to Landrum Dayspring church and Sharon spoke a wonderful message that day. I was sadly distressed to learn that the host and owner of the hotel we had stayed at in Belize had been robbed, tortured and murdered in that very hotel last March 10th. His son found him when returning from school. That man was such a gentle happy soul I cannot imagine his last hour on this planet without tears. They did catch the three men but the justice system in Belize is lame to say the least. Maybe it is easy to say that when you know the person whose life ended in such greed and injustice. Anyway the story said that the wife and son would stay in Belize as they cannot sell the hotel and basically have no where to go. I think I remember they were from Taiwan originally.
Evan's real birthdate was yesterday and it was very hard to convince him he was 5 again and still, rather than suddenly 6. Too many birthdays I guess. Yesterday we got home and yes, there was another gift in the mailbox. Thank You Shelly! We also got a sweet card and financial support from our prayer warrior Susan...remember when you used to just be Marina's warrior?? Thank you as well!
I know there are alot of problems in Ukraine right now getting the interpol clearance forms printed out for everyone over there who has court coming up. The clearances have appeared to be done, but not printed. So no one has proof of said clearance. Nothing surprises me anymore with government involvement in general and how often it involves paperwork that has gone amuck but that does not mean I am not troubled by these events. As long as we have been at this journey we have seen Ukraine stumble and shut down many times in this adoption department. Thankfully they get going again so far each time something comes up. In that there is some light I think. I am reminded here that we have been battling our own US paperwork troubles as well. and.....
We have yet to hear anything from USCIS immigration. I know they have 90 days to respond. They will either say yes, no or they need more docs. I am resolved to the fact that as usual this is way out of my hands. Evan asked for a little sister for his birthday as we got to school wednesday. I said not today and count on the fact that she will be big by the time we get her. I could not tell who was more disappointed, me or him. Even Tully is getting frustrated and he is usually the last to say anything about the frustration of waiting. So we go on living our lives here and trying to get ready for going there. One day it will come....

When, oh when, will this mountain crumble??

2010-03-13T07:43:00.002-05:00

Actually it seems to crumble as I am climbing the side of it now that I give this some thought. It has been hard to update this week since we were cleared by social services. I have never gotten so much as a phone call to explain to me what has occurred but from what little bits and pieces I can gather, social services had taken apart our home study to pass it around and read it. Albeit they had it for three months so why it could not remain intact is beyond me. This is the part where I write that they seem to have misplaced some of the papers. The certified ones. That are somewhat difficult to obtain at a moments notice. I have been lead to believe that USCIS will need the original documentations on these. I am so discouraged and sad, why can people not understand that every day Marina is not HERE she is losing out on opportunities to learn and be cared for? Children have windows of opportunity where learning certain things are easier when that window is Open...hers have been sliding down and closing each day that we are carelessly set back. I take some responsibility for this as well for some of the things we had to clear because we were once ever so stupid, but at this point my biggest concern is how much institutional damage has been done and how difficult to learn to love will it be for her? I have been communicating third party with the newer facilitator in our region in Eastern Europe and she does not have recent information on Marina because the director of that orphanage always wants an update on us and there is little that she has had to offer him so she has been avoiding the orphanage altogether. From what I have heard she is now very happy that there has been connection with us and will be able to talk with that director and give him the insight as to our whereabouts on this crazy board game we are hopping around on. It is a far reach but I sure hope for some more recent photos and maybe even a guestimate on what size little Marina is now. Evan talks about her at school and all the time here at home, trying to ascertain what she might know and what she may not. This has been relatively funny and sad at the same time. He did say that he might need to teach her how to be wild. I am pretty sure that is a freebie thrown in for all kiddos by God:) Then Evan asked me if she had any clothes or was she cold and naked. I wonder how that four year old little mind of his works. The day I found out about the lost papers incident I was distant and brewing a storm in my head, therefor not paying any attention to Evan even though I was giving him the MMhummm answers that are usually reserved for marriage talk. He flat out asked me, are you mad at me or what? I felt pretty bad so I sat down and told him someone lost some important papers that were taking away time to go get Marina and he fell apart and started crying! He finally was able to explain to me that he was afraid someone else would find the papers and go take Marina from us. WOW! The age of enlightenment has sure hit him earlier than it hit me, perhaps by about 35 years.
So here is my basic understanding of things. I believe that God is the creator of everything. I believe some of those things revolted because of the nature of power and greed. And I believe that there is a battle raging over our heads that we could not possibly comprehend. We are often pulled into that battle because we are the objects of God's heart and jealousy is as ugly as power and greed when left unchecked in these revolting little creatures that create mayhem and destruction on the earth to turn us from God. There is a chance that we will turn to Him as well though and that was the turning point for us that sealed the deal that we would never turn back. So now that we have chosen our side, the battle is to create doubt about the power of God. And disrupt our hearts. So as the mountain crumbles under foot as we climb forward, I know that we have been given certain abilities and gifts to navigate. And I can rest in the truth that whatever we can do, we should do. Whatever we cannot do, God will handle. Prayer is fuel. Fill'er up!

Forward motion

2010-03-03T21:59:00.003-05:00

Today we finally got the call that we were cleared to submit to immigration for final stateside approval. After much contemplation social services has smacked their seal of approval on our homestudy....nearly 10 months after starting this process and finding out that misdemeanors are not nearly as harmless as they appear on paper. Social services of SC has forwarded our homestudy onward to USCIS where immigration adoption personnel will have the pleasure of sitting down with that 45+ page homestudy and a cuppa whatever, and again, strangers decide if we can do this thing. I honestly feel that the more yesses that are said, the less likely a NO will be the final word.
TOday, other than the homestudy approval, was not totally terrific. The HVAC dude came out and determined that our compressor was shot and our unit had a freon leak, unrepairable. I can drag this 3 and a half ton unit over to sit next to our car that was given the same diagnosis. Evan also came home sick from school but I feel he can at least be repaired. He is sleeping softly next to me as I type this. His questions on the way to school today involved various birthday plans and ideas coupled with when is Marina going to come here to stay? Can I take her to school with me? Can she come to my party? And finally, "Don,t worry mom, she really is coming here". He plans to teach her how to be wild and crazy. He will certainly be a fine teacher! He was watching Signing Times at school yesterday and that is the coolest little video! I think we will try to keep an eye out for this as it will be a great tool for teaching Marina how to speak what she wants or at least sign for it til she gets the word figured out to go with the want. Evan will be 5 in 22 days and that is the big fat deal of the century for him. Tully will be another year older on the 9th and Caylyn left on the 8th, 2 years ago. My mom has a birthday the day after Evans and my brother in laws' is the 16th. Wow, That is a lot of celebrations! I might add that World Down Syndrome Day is March 21. Since baby Sophia got her family last month I am happy to add baby ANNA to the advocation spotlight! Fundraising for her grant begins today. I hope to have one person a day donate at least 21 dollars to her fund each day. This makes a huge impact on who gets adopted as the experience is very expensive...and worth it! Please consider a tax deductible donation to help defray the costs of bringing her home so her family might take that leap of faith and commit to her!
Will keep the updates coming with the process of obtaining our 171-h, the approval of immigration. Pray for speed for us and no more financial warfare, and that Marina stays protected healthy and happy, looking forward to all the goodness that she cannot even dream about now. The days where Evan teaches her to be wild and crazy....oh boy!
ps did I mention we had a flat tire this morning as well?? Yeah, lets not bring that up!

PSS Will update photo of Anna soon as photos on other computer.

Tulips against the forecast....

2010-02-23T19:35:00.002-05:00

I resist the urge to start out with "It was a dark and stormy night..." but it looks like it is turning out to be just such a night. Winter weather advisory for slush tonight and tomorrow. This matters because our heat pump is on its last leg...and the compressor is nearly done on this thing. Three days ago I was taken by a scam artist regarding the repair of my car to the tune of 1250 dollars, unless you add the fact that I probably totally ruined the car by driving it, then it really begins to add up. A minor detail is that my car tags were stolen as well...the good news is that I have work (galore) and Tully is also working. Perhaps we can keep digging long enough to get out of the sand trap we have rolled in to. This is also a find time to call up those sermons on how if you are being tested then God must really love you...man I am sooo feeling the love today! :) I am ironically at peace with things, except for waiting on furthering our adoption plans. Wondering if DSS will notify me if they send my home study on to immigration so we can be approved there. Our fingerprints were done in about 5 seconds and they stated they are only waiting on the home study. I did find some errors in our dossier but was able to fix those with no effort and have them renotarized. Now once again with DSS dragging their opinion around in circles we run the risk of timing issues and having to redo things yet again. If I am able to submit our dossier in March then we are ok not to have to redo everything...if too much time drags this into April I will have to start re-ordering documents. Ukraine has this crazy rule that nothing can be notarized for longer than 6 months in the paperwork that will be submitted to them. So, my prayer request is that you pray that Marina will be on the hearts and minds of every single social services worker that is involved in this process to the point that they cannot sleep until we are cleared. I know that is a bit drastic but we should be moving forward and as many nights as I have laid awake wondering and thinking of Marina, maybe they should be too. Perhaps they don't get the urgency of her situation.
Ukraine has a new president and cabinet members are coming into office, many members of the court system are being replaced...it is a veritable changing of the guards over there. We had hoped to beat this administration change because change is not often promising for eastern european adoptions. Already interpol clearance was added recently to the list of things we still have to do. The elusive moving carrot--I wonder that we will ever find our selves there. I watch the tulip buds at the end of their little green stems and wonder that they will bloom, and yet there is an air of promise seeing them, waiting until the exact right moment to surprise us all with what we knew we would witness. This is the hope that I hold on to. I ask for additional prayer for my friend Shelly who is bearing the weight of the world on her heart these days for her own adoption process. I know I have my friends and family to journey with us, but her, not so much. I forget that the world is a crummy place alot of days when it treats those so poorly who seek to do such a noble thing as bring an orphan (or 3) into their home and hearts and family. You guys around me, you are good to make me know that I have chosen my friends well. I have seen so much mean-ness in this world aimed at special needs children, but really, must we trample their parents to be to the ground as well? Thank you that you support us. I do not take your love and prayers lightly. Perhaps you might blanket her as well? We are all tulips waiting to bloom against the forecast....but I know with your help we can bloom and assist those children into blossoming as well. And that is the journey goal for them. Thanks forever and always, Cathy

Fingerprint appointment set!!!

2010-02-06T10:50:00.003-05:00

Finally got our fingerprint appointment for February 16th at 11 am in Charlotte NC. I also have all my reference letters that were in addition to the ones already submitted to DSS and will drop those all to my social worker on Monday. The last thing I have to do is be approved by immigration. It is not a slam dunk so prayers would be appreciated. Oh yeah, and I have to raise about 9 thousand more dollars. I am sooo ready to go to Ukraine. Now if everything else lines up we should be there in March. Oh one other weird little glitch. I have put my passports somewhere in the house that is logical and safe...so logical and safe that I cannot find them. Only Evan's:) It is really important to locate these specific passports because new ones will have a new number will create a ton of new paperwork. They also cost about 80 bucks a peice. This is a stupid thing i do when I am stressed- and have done this for years. One time it took me three months to find my house payment in cash that was stuck in the cd shelf. And we all know I do not have the luxury of 3 months:) If they don't appear by next friday, I submit for new ones. Thanks, Cathy

2 Hours Later!! Passports found in one weird place--an old notebook I had started for our adoption 10 months ago??? Have no idea how they ended up there but I have them now, in a real place that would make sense. Thanks for whoever prayed along with me:)

No real news just wanted to update

2010-01-31T17:43:00.004-05:00

We are on the little waiting hamster wheel that goes round and round. I assume it will eventually come loose of the screws and take off for real:) DSS has requested additional paperwork such as more reference letters and some information on what we plan to do with our kiddos if we get taken out of this world early. I also had to get local police clearance which of course was no problem, just a bit inconvenient. Kind of like going to the department of motor vehicles because ya never have the right information on paper the first time ya show up. In the mean time immigration was waiting patiently to assign us a fingerprint appointment in a constantly overbooked list in Charlotte so I finally tracked someone down to say that for the love of pete we would take an appointment in Charleston instead. While this adds an additional 2 hours each way, it is better to have some appointment somewhere rather than no appointment anywhere. I expect to get that actual appointment in the mail this next week along with all the out of state reference letters. I am amazed at how many nurses and doctors relocated since our last hospital stay of March 08. One of the few reasons I love facebook is that the social network transcends all that moving and I can still find folks pretty quickly.

My texas friend and adoptive mama Shelly has sent a little sweater dress with hairbows for Marina for court day and also a wonderful sage color winter coat. I am now ready to get on a plane and put these clothes on that little girl and get on with this program. For so long we have been praying that Marina stay safe and filled with peace, but have recently changed the prayer to hurry up and get us there for her. (keeping her safe in the meantime). Sometimes we just forget what and how to pray I think. I am reading the book Crazy Love by Francis Chan and it really addresses this prayer issue that we have--like how we recite the same words all the time and ask God to do what he was going to do all the time anyway. Tully and I are both going through this bible study together and it is starting to put God in a much larger perspective. Since we as humans are so finite, it is easy to slot God in there as well, again and again, seeking the sky genie's services. But I know there is more to this than meets the eye and I am always searching for answers regarding the effects of prayer. If I am going to spend the time, I would like to know that it does not sound ridiculous and waste the time using virtual baby talk to the Creator of the Universe.

This has been an icy and snowy weekend. The first sound I was awakened by yesterday morning resembled something out of a war movie as Evan yelled WOOHOOO at the top of his not so little lungs. Followed by the I told you so dance--yes there was snow on the ground. Unfortunately it was very cruncy ice masquerading as fluffy snow...sledding on ice is only fun in one direction and dragging the sled back up the hill was daunting to anyone. Evan has a small abrasion where he skinned his face twice on the ice slipping down. Today we went for a movie instead, finding it to be a safer alternative than ice sledding. Planet 51 was pretty cute and then we went to a little seafood restaurant for sandwiches...upon entering we were faced with the most beautiful wall water fountain. This is the kind of waterfall that penny wishes are made of and Evan separated me from all of my pennies immediately. He only threw one though. When he came to the table he told me he wished for Caylyn to come back and for Marina to get her brother. Who says pennies are not worth much?

I have been promoted at work lately to area supervisor and have also expanded work to cover a couple of hours a week with Family Connection of SC, assisting families with their medicaid questions. This is somewhat hilarious since I probably have more questions than anybody but they swear to train me so we will see how good they really are I suppose.

That is about it for now, the sun is setting and the roads will be icing over again. Be safe and warm. After this weekend I have added thanks to my prayers for Haiti. Thanks that it is not winter as well...

PS the little baby girl Sofia who was our prayer angel at Christmas has gotten a family commitment so she is going home this year. I am very happy about this. I might add that if you click on her warrior button you will be taken to the giving stats for this past Christmas prayer warrior project for Reece's Rainbow. I can't decide which thrills me more, the grant money raised or the families who made commitments. Just check it out and see what impresses you the most!

Last time Christmas will be without you...

2010-01-04T06:40:00.003-05:00

Twas the Night Before Christmas--for the Parentless.. ...

Twas the night before Christmas and all through the land
there are parentless children, with no toys in hand

No stockings to be hung by the chimney with care
no hopes for a family soon to be there

Their beds are not snug--but cold and quite bare
there are no goodnight kisses--no one to care

While we in our homes, laughing in delight
all settle down for a Merry Christmas Eve night

When in someones' heart--there arises a clatter
there are children in need--who's lives really DO matter!

Away to the computer please go in a flash
to see the sweet face with whom YOU could be matched!

While a child you see--their beautiful face all aglow
could this be MY child--could I already know??

When in the dreams of the orphan--what always appears
is a family to love them, to care and hold dear

As you stare at that child--your heart beats real quick--
for you know in your heart that sweet face will stick

More dreams sweet children have--to call parents by name-
come mama! come daddy! come family to claim!

To the ends of the earth--your heart seems to call
now child--I'm coming--I wish for you ALL!

So on a plane to your child--over rooftops you flew
to hold this dear soul--a wish did come true

And then in a twinkling-I saw through the door
this child of my heart-that was waiting no more

As I got my camera and was turning around-
into my arms did he come with a bound!

He was dressed in many layers from his head to his foot
and into my heart his life was just put

there was no round face--no plump little belly
just sad little eyes, and legs shaking like jelly

In a swirl of a pen, and a stamp and a seal
my world became brighter--like I could suddenly feel!

We spoke not a word--they weren't needed at all
and I knew in this moment where I got this call

God laid his hands on my heart--and to the occasion I rose
and He could do it for you--this question He'll pose.....

It won't be a shout--no not even a whistle
it won't be real clear--but faint like a whisper

Can you make room in your heart--if you try with your might?
And make a difference for one--help them see the light?

I can see you exclaim as you hold your child tight--
Thank you Lord for this gift--you got it EXACTLY right!

Someone posted this recently on RR chat and I wanted to keep a copy of it to remind me how I worried for Marina and the others especially through the holidays. I could never see how in the world my life would continue with the way it has already transpired, but here I am, adding warrior for the smallest of orphans to my resume. We are awaiting our fingerprint appointment and the courteous approval of DSS concerning our homestudy.
We stopped by our facilitator's house in Florida on the way home and really enjoyed seeing her sweet family...actually seeing what I would have expected as chaos and craziness was over run by love and peace that flowed between the children and their mom. It just worked so sweetly. 3 SN kiddos and an infant and a 6 year old little boy who was just precious. It was inspiring and precious and personally I would have spent the day laying on the floor sharing much of my time with Emma who was totally content to enjoy the music within her toy as it was laid against her head. Something about her is so beautiful in a way I cannot explain. Then there is Princess Brianna with her magic shoes and little wand and flowing blond hair. The stop was a good one and in two hours gave me the visual that replaces the imaginary when we are emailing and chatting on Yuku on Monday nights.
I cannot believe we were swimming in the ocean last week in Florida and it is sooo incredibly freezing here today. I am up early, coffee brewing, and I need to go set my work schedule for the day, but I sure do NOT want to go out that front door this morning:) Praying that all good mail comes this week. I would love for us to submit our paperwork to Ukraine the day it opens in February 1. Would welcome a prayer or two to join to ours. Cathy
PS found another photo of Marina that does not have someone's arm in the way, it is blurry but cute:)

Happy Birthday Marina!

2009-12-28T11:37:00.002-05:00

Holy smoly we survived Christmas and ten thousand questions on when we get to open presents by Evan the un-weary warrior. I tried to talk a bit about whose birthday it is we celebrate and why but conceded that he is 4 and a foundation is different from a finished construction...feeling that the foundation is the most important step this year. Our oldest dog died Christmas eve, and I found Pita Christmas day under the shed after a hard rain. I told Evan that God must have given Caylyn the dog for Christmas and although he cried, he was ok with that. somehow after explaining it to him I felt alot better too. We are currently in Florida on our yearly trek to seek out sunshine since Caylyn moved on. Christmas was a bit more festive this year and we found ourselves celebrating more than beating down the conflict of grief with celebrating, whereas last year I think grief won out by a landslide. I personally would be lost without the cirlce of family and friends that join hands and prayers for us and realize one day too that you will know I prayed for you all as well. In that regard we keep each other standing and moving through life.

Tomorrow is Marina's birthday and there is nothing she needs more than us at this point (so no socks and underwear just yet:). She will have spent 5 years of her life in an orphanage with no idea of a mom and dad and brother. I want to request something that will take about 5 minutes for you to do. I heard about this cool idea the other day and it is called 5&5...I am going to ask for a 5 dollar donation for Marina for her birthday through our sponsorship link
http://www.reecesrainbow.org/sponsorbachman.htm then can you forward it to at least 5 people who you truly believe will also donate 5.00 for her adoption fund...and see if they can forward it to 5 people they will truly believe will donate. Guys, we are 9000.00 away from bringing her home. 5 bucks is a cup of coffee to you and me, and a golden ticket to a family for Marina. Please pray this turns into a birthday miracle for her. And for us as well. Then we can all know that we invested just a little bit but as a team it will bring her home. Thank you thank you thank you. Cathy Tully and Evan

Counting down Christmas

2009-12-17T22:07:00.002-05:00

Evan is getting to be quite the little walking calendar and since he can now read his name he is able to keep a tally of what is his upcoming gifts under the tree...which, to date, is all of them! His enthusiasm is a catalyst to move us forward and although it still feels raw to celebrate much, his encouragement is working its magic. Christmas is coming and Evan is the grand announcer! He planned the raising of the tree, and the lights on the bushes and we complied. Yesterday the three oversized kittens that were napping under the tree were not enough to simply look warm and festive. Evan wrapped his own sneakers and some toys in some confiscated gift bags and begged us to come see!! I have to say he has a real flair for merchandising. This weekend we will actually start wrapping gifts and raising the excitement level up a notch or two. It does not hurt that the weather report has said snow and freezing rain every nine minutes tonight. Festive is creeping in through the segway of a 4 year old little boy. Evan commandeered Tully on a must do shopping trip the other night. Evan went into his room and got down his bank and stated he had to buy his friends gifts that very minute, especially since Jenna Kate was his girlfriend and she needed a gift. (Sigh) Tully took the roll of chauffer and the pair went out to dinner at Mcdonalds and a "the sky is the limit" shopping journey through Dollar tree. They had a blast and Evan did all the decision making, which was totally impressive when he was able to share with me his chosen gifts. He really has good taste and decided all by himself who would get what. He is still proud about that! Personally so am I that he thought of his friends in such an independent manner.

Elsewhere in the world hope is seeping in through the segway of a little girl who does not know she waits for us. Our home study has been sent to Social services for committee review. I assume it will take way longer than I hope but it is completely out of my hands at this point. Tomorrow morning I will take a gamble and put the I-600a immigration request in the mailbox as well. Logical thinkers tell me to wait until I hear from DSS in case they turn us down. The warrior in me knows I will take them to task if they turn us down so I will go ahead and file for our fingerprint appointment and see if we cannot shave some time off of our wait. I have that goal of February 1 outlined in sunlight in my heart as the day we hope to submit our completed everything to Ukraine. This is becoming more and more of a reality every day and it takes my breath away. It is the day the Ukrainian State Department of Adoption reopens for the year and we have worked hard to get the right to stand in that line.
Tully and I spoke a little last night about upcoming events. He remembers the conversation regarding deciding to help Marina much differently than I do. I found it very interesting that we can tell this same story so differently. I think our fears and memories get hazy in order to propel us forward sometimes. In short, he thinks it was me pushing us forward and I felt that the lead was his (even if only temporarily:) "She" that completes thousands of documents is ultimately in charge of motion, at least to a certain degree. I think that God simply used us for each other to take steps forward that we might otherwise have been afraid to make.
We are in still in need of prayers through the holidays. It is still difficult. I wonder that it will be that way forever, even though we have fun in between the hard times. And yet this year is so different from last in that we have come a long way. God's grace is sufficient for us. God has Caylyn and that is sufficient for us. God gave us Jesus as the ultimate lamb, perfect and sacrificial. The more I learn about that kind of love, the more I want to learn. May we learn by doing.
Merry Christmas.

Overload week

2009-12-05T08:31:00.002-05:00

This has been one of the most emotional weeks I can remember going through since Caylyn left us. Long term little warrior David Wilkerson relocated to heaven this past week and in all seriousness I always believed him to be the alternate ending to what we experienced but with all the best choices and hard fight that family went through, the ending was a sad surprise to those of us still on the planet earth. His relapse manifested as tumors and went undetected in his bloodwork. So by the time the family discovered the life altering problem, there was not one decision to make regarding his care. I went to his life celebration and out of that great big church I realized I was sitting one row over from the third family group of our "club" ...The Kain family. Little Julia also has DS and has battled Leukemia. She was there and looking so precious I almost had trouble focusing on the event at hand. As I greeted them after the service it was blatantly obvious that they are the sole survivor of our group. Seeing Julia (age 3) was such a journey back to that wonderful age with Caylyn. You cannot believe how much kids with DS remind you of each other, despite how infinitely different they are. Anyhow as I was crumbling inside suddenly Julia reaches for me and is in my arms before I can fully appreciate the moment. Then she wraps her little arms around my neck and lays her head on my shoulder. I have never fought tears so hard and lost that battle so quickly for as long as I can remember. I layed my head back on her little shoulder and my tears fell as I remembered how yummy those hugs are. They are soul hugs, and you must believe me when I tell you that they encompass the heart completely. I looked up and her dad had tears running down his face. Then Julia went back to her sister. Over in mere seconds but one of those fine kodak memories that somehow remain timeless in a thirsty soul.
At some point this last week I dreamed of Marina. That she was sweet and could repeat what we were saying to her. Which means I could hear her voice. This was the first time I have dreamed of her and it was enchanting. For the last few months I have believed her to be in various institutions. Yesterday I received this email that came via Ukraine.

Cathy, Marina was transferred to an older child orphanage for all typical children. So she is doing very well and is NOT at the institution. He has spoken with her parents and they are very glad for her to be adopted by your family.

So he reiterated what I told you....you can request only Marina upfront, visit her, know her, and decide at that time if you'd like to consider a 2nd child. You would have to request a 2nd appt at the SDA, go back to Kiev, etc to get thr 2nd child's official referral....

He says she is a beautiful child, easy, calm and affectionate.

There are no other children at her new orphanage with Down syndrome at this time.

This news was welcomed with tears of joy. I was so surprised at how deeply this affected me. She is doing better than I had imagined and my intensity for seeing her is not driven by fear for her well being as it is simply because I am growing to love her more and more every day. Today she is especially real to me and I cannot wait to see her. Evan was completely enchanting when I told him that God was looking out especially well for Marina and that she was doing well. He jumped out of his chair and ran and hugged me, telling me this was wonderful! I did not see that coming! He understands so much for a 4 year old. And he is looking forward to being her brother, asking me many questions that I have no answer for. I now have two peices of information on Marina. One is her photo, that is old. The other is this update as to where she is. Not too much I can share with Evan that is not speculation.

Our home study is nearly ready to go to DSS for their final approval. I have finished all my information finding and returned it to our social worker. Then it goes to immigration for processing. Pray for speed and precision for God's timing and reasoning for this rocky journey. Evan is sleeping next to me as i type this, having gotten up to see if it has snowed at 7 am, which it has not. But the day is cold and grey, something we do not usually see until February here in the south. Love, Cathy

"Clarity Hilarity"

2009-11-22T18:41:00.002-05:00

Ok lets see if I can explain this with a straight face. We have waited three weeks for DSS to give us the go ahead with their blessing to continue this road of adoption since receiving the official state pardon. I finally sent a short letter asking what in the world we were waiting on...which I never received a personal response to. Instead within a day or two of my letter the higher ups and lawyers of DSS contacted my home study coordinator and said she could go ahead and do our home study and take our 1600.00 but they still reserve the right to deny our request. Now, I ask you, how straight is your face right now? The only thing I can come to a conclusion over is that we are a first...no one has ever actually bothered with getting the requested pardon so DSS has no protocol to go by in figuring out what to do with us. They do not want the responsibility of being wrong but will acknowledge their kudos when they are right, in the end. There is no road map for us to go get Marina. We blaze the trail, off-roading with Jesus once again. I don't know about you but it feels like there are land mines everywhere I step. Why is this so insidiously difficult for people to see this as not our mission but one from a much higher authority? We didn't get here by ourselves and we sure won't get there on our own merit either. Getting in God's way will glorify Him in the end because He will triumph but I am only human and I am totally going to look war torn by the time we open our arms to this small child. I can see it now...Hi Marina, I will be serving as your earthly mother should I last through the roadtrip to get you...
And speaking of Hi Marina...I went to church by myself this morning because Tully stayed home with Evan who was coughing his head off...and as I was listening to the music I got so caught up in realizing that one day she really will be here, God willing. I really will hold her little hand and watch her as the music flows through her from head to toe. The tears began to well and then fall. The sermon was on Love. The only change I think I could make to 1 Corinthians 13 is that love is patient...it should say that love is fierce. I find that my love is not very patient with the space that is between us. It is the same sort of determination that I feel when I know I will see Caylyn again and throw my arms around her too. Mother love. The kind that can make you crazy insane to keep harm from your little one, protecting at all costs. Mother bears insight a sort of connotation for a reason...Then there is Jesus love. The kind of love that can make you crazy insane to understand that someone loves you that much...enough to die for me and you and prepare a place for me and you, and my children, and your children...for all those that love Him too. What an honor to be loved by the King of the Universe. What an humble honor. May we be fiercely full of love and grace and thanksgiving as we celebrate a day of being thankful for all that we are, no matter where we are. Our opportunities are boundless when they are backed by God Himself.
Plowing forward. This is our journey with the breathe of God at our back.

Why do we wait?

2009-11-14T07:42:00.000-05:00

I was up early this morning and have found my way to another persons' blog that I find totally captivating. I actually found it last night but after four hours at Chucky cheese on a Friday night, I was unable to see out of both eyes, having been blinded by the shrill screams and sheer joy of a sea of children. Anything other than "see Jane Run" would have been over my head. Anyhow this blog is about this girl who just turned 21 and is....uh, I stop for the right words here, and they do not come. She is so much of an example of what I would love to see myself as comprehending in this world. She is simply amazingly full of obedient love that is way more authentic than Hollywood love (an oxymoron as no one in Hollywood ever seems to get it right). She is Jesus Love. Yeah, that is the right wording. the Journey
Anyhow I found this exerpt from her blog this morning and wanted to share it just a little further...

Francis Chan wrote, "How we live our days, is how we live our lives." I had to read it several times as I let it soak in. Because it is true. So often we find ourselves waiting for a specific moment, a specific call, something special. For what? How we spend our days... that will be our LIFE. Because today could be it. If Jesus came back today and said, "Let's go!" would we be ready? Would we be doing what we want to be doing when we meet Jesus? People say to me often, "You are so lucky that you found your calling, that you know your purpose in life." This statement boggles my mind. I AM so blessed to live the life that I do. But it isn't rocket science. God did NOT part the sky and shout out to me, "Katie! Serve my people." I read it in His word. You can too. We can all see as plain as day that Jesus says the number one commandment is to love the Lord and love your neighbor.

Wow. That is profoundly simple. Until you read it again. And widen the understanding. I want to do more and better than I did yesterday. Or the day before that. But in order to do that, I can only accomplish that when I let go of me. Because I am not big enough to do God size things. But God is big enough to do God size things through me when I let Him. And letting Him in feels like sunrise on my face. I saw a book title the other day while perusing Amazon and the title was a one sentence Whammy. "Deliver me from Me-ville". What else can I say? I did not even have to buy the book-(at least not yet:). The title alone was extremely loud in the way it pointed a finger. The apostle Paul talks about how every day he has to die to self. It sounds like we are giving something up that we need. But we are not. We are giving up smallville for a Grand Plan. Life is hard most days. What makes life hard is that we are often waiting for something that we have focused on as a goal. So we end up losing the days that we do have our hands on.
Today is a new day. Be thoughtful how you spend it because you exchange one day of your finite life for it. Leave something good that makes a difference where today is. I personally have succombed to the enemy of stolen opportunity many times. "where did the day go?" "Wow time flies"....Time never seems to just walk in sync with me. It either flies or crawls...and in clarity here, it does both at the same time. Wow this was a long day, but it sure flew by! What will today bring in opportunity to serve, to give? To share a kind word, a soft smile, a chance to make a difference in someone's day? I learned recently that church is not where your own ministry is. It might be, but the Church provides opportunities. Not ALL opportunities, but some. A few, really. But I am exposed to the Heart desires of God all the time. These are my own personal opportunities to serve. And I have probably blown it a million times. Conservatively speaking.
Grace from God gives today a new chance to be tomorrows yesterday with results. This is a lot like saying "play nice" and "don't run with scissors". We know these things and yet we allow the enemy to steal our days anyway, as we don't play nice and sometimes run with scissors when no one is looking. The next thing we know, we are in time out, and bleeding. Waiting on something we know in our souls will not look like the painting we have crafted. And the potential for it to be way better than our childish version is always there when we let it go. Trading finite wisdom for infinite. So Lord, I let go of the day and offer it to you. I know you know me. I know You love us all. Talk with me in my times of floundering and frustration, when I do not understand that you are indeed creating the most amazing tapestry of our wildest imaginations, if we would just stop pulling the threads and let you work.

If you did not know from the subject matter here, we are still waiting on approval from the next level of DSS. Slowly our dossier (french word for "your soul on paper") which is complete, is beginning to get un-complete as the time frame for said documents withers by the calendar of constriction--nothing can be over 6 months old, not even the ten year old marriage license--the notary on it has to be recent when it is submitted. The notary license has to be NOT expiring for a year after we submit. In blind faith I will re-order the documents. And the notary stamp has been reapplied for. Perhaps we will travel in the spring now. But I know it is not my plan to force. We can only be obedient to doing our part. Thanks for prayers. And I have finally wisened up and stopped asking God to teach me patience:). Now I just ask for it as a gift. Give me patience. I resist the obvious faux pas to tack on the word "Now".:)

Camping

2009-11-05T19:06:00.001-05:00

I cannot exactly figure out why we go camping. We compose lists of items not to be forgotten, (only to forget the flashlight), we listen to the relentless question from our 4 year old "Today? is today when we go camping?" This is the replacement question for "can we go camping at the beach?" It has been a quest-song for nearly 2 months. Writing that, now I remember why we are going camping. We were honed down as logical thinkers from months of rhetorical questions. I have let a 4 year old convince me it would be fun.
Yesterday we loaded up the Durango with tent, 2 blow up mattresses, 2 camp chairs, toys, clothes, bedding and bath items, small coffee pot, cookware, food for a week and no flashlight. We are going camping for 2 days. Never think an item is too obvious to put on the list.

My husband takes on the driving as it gives him radio control privileges. I cannot hear anything whatsoever because I have a new book and have been transported on page 11 into the story. Our son is settled in to the back seat with various items designed to keep "Are we there yet?" to a minimum for our 4.5 hour trip. All is well and the book is pretty good. I look up at the first "are we there yet"? so I can give a truthful answer. what I see is a big blue sign that says "Welcome to Georgia". Since we are camping in Murrells Inlet in Myrtle Beach this sign is not so welcome. We are almost 2 hours the wrong direction on I-20. There is no shortcut back. I will spare the details but Thank God Almighty for nap times for 4 year olds. When he awoke we were exactly back to the point we got off track, two and a half hours prior. There is no one in the car I do not feel sorry for. No, we are not there yet.

It is dusk going dark when we pull up to Huntington Island state park. Again we are greeted by a welcome sign that is nearly covered over by the no vacancy sign. This is not so welcome either. Seriously I begin to doubt my husbands salvation as I hear non christian verbage (and nounage) coming from his mouth. Twenty more minutes in the car is torture now but we break up the monotony with a victory cry when the illumination of the Dollar General sign looms ahead on Hwy 17 Garden City Beach. 3 flashlights and some tylenol and a pack of gum and socks later we are excited to be in the final 10 minutes of our prison on wheels. It starts to sprinkle small drops of rain.

we check in to a nearly packed ginormica camp ground and are given a sight near the bathroom. This sounds both great and logical as I sign the paperwork. As we find the sight, having circled the dark ginormica campground three times in search of "our" sight I realize the bathroom is lit up as a lighthouse beacon simulating daylight for all. It begins a steady rain. I walk back to the camp store to renegotiate our space. She kindly gives us the darkest on in the entire campground. At that point all the rangers have gathered around the glow of the weather radar screen. One pinpoint green dot of precipitation. Over the campground. I feel conspicuous now. I know it is over me. Rolling my eyes and blowing rain out of my dripping hair I mutter "Go figure" and nonchalantly head back out to traipse through the green dot effect. I get BACK in the car. We circle the campground entirely 2 more times to the irritation of those already asleep. We locate our pitch black hole and i am temporarily afraid that we will be sucked in to the dark never to return. I forget about this possible out to this impossible day as it begins to torrentially downpour. My laughter, not driven by joy, borders on maniacal. Having borrowed the tent, there is no familiar feel to the wet metal bars that fall into the mud. Luckily there is a picture of what it is supposed to look like and that has to suffice for instructions. I cannot wait for the rain to stop because I cannot stand sitting in the car for one more second. Our son deliriously cries that we are here! we are here!. It is too dark to know exactly where here is but yes, here we are none the less. In 30 minutes the tent is up thanks to the help of the head lights gracing 1/3 of the entire section of the campground we have been allotted between two large winnebagos. At 9:15 pm there is no way to start a campfire out of green wet wood. We eat cold hot dogs and tortilla chips, bananas and gogurts. Our 4 year old bounces in joy and says it is the best supper ever. I love him to pieces for carrying his positive outlook for this long. I now vow to stay with him on this. Tomorrow is indeed in sight.
The air mattress is also new as I bought it off craigslist just yesterday for fifteen dollars. It is awesome and actually the height of a regular bed with box springs. As I join my son in the tent for our dry cold dinner by flashlight I sit on the edge of the bed. Never do this unless you are in the circus. I realize too late that I have sat on air with a full plate of food. Seconds later I recover to squeals of delight from my son. My plate is semi-intact. My dignity far from it. "Do it again mom, that was funny!". Lucky for me my husband is still out muttering in the dark amidst the soft rain, trying to make a ham salad sandwich from memory, since he cannot see his hands.

Finally we are physically ready to release the day. Mentally it was gone hours ago. At 5 am I realize that the entire campground IS the flight pattern for the Myrtle Beach airport, now supporting jumbo jets bright and early...bright may be too optimistic there.

I lay in the soft darkness, remembering my prayer list and lifting up those I love and some I am not sure about but feel their burden, to the high court of powerful appeals. The soft breathing of both my husband and my son are the only sounds that filter through the air. Seamlessly the sun rises up the most beautiful morning. Coffee is brewed. Hot chocolate next. Fire brings about eggs and bacon, blueberry bagels, juice and yogurt. Our RV neighbors do not hate us as much as I had imagined the night before. The light of the day reveals that we are only 3 camp sight blocks to the beach...which we drive. We are not lazy but a 50 pound tired 4 year old will be heavy later on. The sky is a true Caribbean turquoise and it is 80*. We pile out of the car and our son hits 50 miles per hour on legs, failing to stop even due to the 65* water and the waves are screaming riptide. Actually I am screaming stop, riptide. He does and now I remember why we go camping. This beautiful day is why. The ocean is bigger than us and reminds us of God --wild and unpredictably predictable, and always there. "Look mom, magic shells!!" I agree, then back up and ask why they are magic...the answer is simply because they are so beautiful he says. I look at the beaten broken shells in his sandy wet hand. They are beautiful. I think they might be a lot like us. They became magic when they were noticed and appreciated.

With that thought wafting through my mind, my husband lays a perfect albeit lifeless monarch butterfly on these little pages of this now documented journey. The day may be fleeting but it is ours. Yesterday must have been the caterpillar. Today the beauty of a Monarch is laid in my lap.

I wrote this a couple weeks ago on our camping trip. I am sharing it here to remind me that sometimes even the worst part of a journey has its purpose. We are currently under review in the highest offices of DSS investigations. They do not make exception to their rule very often. I imagine very few people ask them to consider this request. I have a little more paperwork to gather tomorrow. Maybe that will be it. In the meantime we pray for Marina to remain healthy and patient and well out of harms way. I would hate for her to ever get to miss this family idea of a vacation:)

Major Hurdle -- CLEAR!

2009-10-28T19:02:00.000-04:00

There is no leading up to a grandiose announcement--Tully got his pardon today and all pertinent papers have been delivered to the investigations division of DSS in Columbia. It should hit the head office at some point tomorrow. I can hardly believe it!
Now for the details...of course we were late due to a 15 car fender bender mess on I-26. I seriously wonder how those people ever get to work on time that live there. Traffic is hideous. The pardon started around 9 and Tully and I went in and faced the Pardon board members. They opened up the affair by asking various questions. Tully of course did not get a peep out of me to help but those board members seemed to want to hear from him mostly, and any of you that watch us in conversation know that it is a bad habit of mine to offer him my words when his might tumble around on his tongue...but not today. I tried to sit still and not bawl...the adrenaline is wicked in that sort of pressure. Getting up at 5 a.m. and consuming half a pot of coffee does not help. But it was only minutes later and we were escorted back to where my mom had Evan in the lobby. And we waited for their verdict. The NICEST woman came in to tell us his pardon was granted. I fought back the urge to bawl and the big boulder rolled off my chest. They even knew we needed our certificate of freedom right then and did what they could to provide it in about 15 minutes. That was it. I realized on the way there this morning that Evan thought we were actually getting Marina today but other than that it went much better than anything I could have expected. It has been a long exhausting busy day and tired is an understatement so I close with thanks to everyone who prayed and wrote letters and made phone calls on our behalf, which is really Marina's behalf. Life got a lot brighter for her today I think. Once we are approved through DSS which I expect soon, we can send off our information to request permission from immigration (USCIS). This will be the most difficult time frame. I must go finish some dossier paperwork now and research the immigration process since it changed 9 days ago. This must all be approved and notified back to us by Nov. 20th. Exactly 3 weeks. Or no travel date until the spring. Don't stop praying now!! Thanks fervently all of you, Cath

The Hearing

2009-10-22T07:09:00.000-04:00

Well our pardon date is upon us! How quickly the time has crawled by. For those of you who have asked for information regarding this the hearings begin at 8:30 a.m. at 2221 Devine st. Suite 404 Columbia SC on Wednesday October 28th. I ask for prayers that all will go smooth sailings through this thing. I imagine Tully is nervous but he has not mentioned it so I am speculating as one who has known him for 15 years. Ultimately it is still not us who is most impacted so we view this as a preliminary adoption hearing because it is Marina that is in the balance here. Which brings me to another request. If you are so inclined and have not already written a letter of support, we could use a few to send to Dept of Social services to support our ability to be decent parents. They are the dept. standing right behind department of corrections who will next consider us as potential adoptive parents. I am hoping many things will take place by Halloween that will set us on the course to being cleared in a timely fashion by immigration. Our email address is foggydogs@yahoo.com for supportive parent letters. It does not have to be fancy or long. Just honest and "diplomatic".:)

We are heading out to go camping for a couple of days with Evan who has been on a "lets go camping at the beach" quest for a couple of months now. I checked the weather and it looks like either now or never...so we will likely head to Hunting Island this weekend and see if it is as relaxing as it looks in the pictures on their web sight. We are really looking forward to this but no one as much as Evan who is binging off the walls with this dream come true. I love the child enthusiasm. It is totally to the edge and quite infectios as well--I wish we were more like that in our life quest but we tend to slow down on our hurrahs and our level of excitement gets stuck a little closer to the middle of the road...so my prayer for you today is that we all find something that kickstarts our hearts and puts a smile all over us- and we invade someone else with it--someone else who is stuck in the middle of the road. What a neat goal to share with someone, as the sun is cresting over the horizon. And as our sun comes up, little Marina is heading for bed on the other side of the world....

From the outside in...

2009-10-16T20:40:00.000-04:00

"After being on RR for a few months now, and reading about all of your lives, I have come to a new understanding about DS. First of all, I realize I knew very little about it in the first place. I have had 6 children and have never been tested for DS in pregnancy because, well... why?, I would love whomever God gave me. That said, I didn't really think much about down syndrome, haven't known anyone personally with it, and it seemed sort of like a 'scary unknown'.

But after peeking into all of your lives and especially 'getting to know' all the sweet children on RR, I have evolved into feeling like it is me who is missing out by NOT having a DS child. I feel like they represent pure love in it's most innocent form. I have mentioned to relatives that I think our next adoption will be a child with DS, and they look at me like I have two heads! But, they just haven't

'seen' yet. When I think of the Bible verse "let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of Heaven belongs to such as these" I especially think of a child with DS, with their joy and innocence. And I thank all of you, and especially Andrea with her passion and love for these children, for opening my eyes and my heart to the beauty and potential of each child that the Lord has created with that special 'extra something' called down syndrome."

Jodi

This was a recent post on our adoption chat group. I thought it was so amazing and it reminded me of how many people do not choose to follow through with a special needs birth because society convinces them that not perfect is not good enough. It also reminded me that sooo many people do not know that there is such joy in this life amongst the struggles. It is why we are adopting Marina. Because God loved us so much that He trusted us with Caylyn and knew that we would learn to live through Cay's life and ultimately through her death. I wonder that He held his breath as he waited for us to know that it would be a good thing to commit to more chaos and love in our lives. Loving is scary. Releasing someone you love to the arms of God is even scarier. To say you will do it again, well, that is either brave, loony...or we are being held to the standard that was the hopes for us in the first place. To get back up when gale force storms completely knock you out. To realize that Christ is standing behind you in a life changing game of trust--just fall back and don't even look. Now that is faith. Of course God has never dropped me, but he sure has scared me half to death a few times. He has a dramatic side.

Orphan sunday is coming up in November and if you ever thought that you were destined to do something big in your life consider that these kids are sitting on a shelf, already cast aside and waiting for something that they do not even know exists. A family. Consider sponsoring an adopting family, or become one. Life is meant to be lived. and you just have no idea what you are missing:)

We are doing everything possible to beat the clock on our dossier submission. The USCIS clearance requirements have been relocated to a central location in Texas. I have every suspician that this will not shorten the process. However my God is bigger than (even) our own government so if we are to travel then it will happen. It will happen easier with prayer. Maybe the difference is you. Please lift Marina for safe keeping? Thank you so much. Cathy

Jeremiah 33:3

2009-10-04T14:58:00.000-04:00

Is it true, if you call to God that He will answer you? When is the last time that you did so with true expectations in your heart? I saw a sign once that asked why someone would expect a million dollar answer to a ten cent prayer and it really stuck with me. Is our God too small? A sky genie vending machine where we take our paltry requests? As Jonathan, our preacher asked us to consider today, how much time do we devote to talking with God? Time is His gift to us, and our gift back to Him. Ten percent tithe is the biblical request of our incoming funds, but what about ten percent of our time? Doesn't sound like much does it? But would you stop to consider it is 2 hours and 40 minutes a day? We often feel great if we remember to say our prayers going out the door in the morning, and as our head hits the pillow at night. And yet this is the most important relationship of all time. There is not a single issue that has not been addressed in some manner in the bible. Not one. He has given us so many words that address our heart. Our head, too. So I press this to you, seek ye FIRST the kingdom of God. Listen for his sacred echo, his Holy Spirit whispering softly to you. The answer is there. John tells us in 1 John 5:14 & 15 "This is the confidence we have in approaching God: that if we ask anything according to his will, he hears us. And we know that he hears us--whatever we ask--we know that we have what we asked of him." The more time we spend seeking God's will, the more aligned we are to hear his voice and open up to the great and mighty things He would share with us. It is also how we will know what to ask that is of His will.

Tully and I are scheduled for his pardon hearing on October 28th at 8:30 a.m. so if you are in the Columbia SC neighborhood of the pardon and parole board, drop by in support. I am still trying to figure out how we are going to get there at that hour:) In addition I have written a request to the Department of Social Services to meet with their investigations board for a review of our request as well on the same day. It is ultimately them that we need to appease. I have yet to hear back but they likely have not had time to consider my request to meet with them so will post when we hear from them next. After that we will submit our 1-600 to INS, the immigration board who will consider our international request. We are moving as fast as we can, but it is not us who is leading this motion, or we would have been there already. As of last night we have indeed been informed that the Ukraine State Department of Adoptions will stop accepting dossiers (the entire compilation of US on paper) as of November 30, 2009. We have precious little time to manage this effort before Marina falls through the cracks. I ask that you please pray with us to conquer the walls between us and her. I do not believe this can be done without prayer. Prayer is what has gotten us to this point so I see no reason to slack on it now! :)

In addition to all of our own fundraising I have felt lead to assist another little girl who does NOT have a family as of yet. Reeces Rainbow utilizes the Christmas season to fund raise for their noncommitted children who have Down Syndrome in an effort to increase the grants for future families. This is how Marina came to have 5000 dollars in her grant before we committed to her. The focus of our Christmas child is Sophia who will be 2 in February of 2010. She is relatively young for a Ukrainian orphan and we hope to really make an impact with her fund raising. If you have any indiviual or group interest in assisting us with Sophia's grant raising please contact me at wordgardener@ymail.com. I will have bracelets available for her and also Christmas ornaments for her to commemorate that she is not forgotten.

Sophia will be 2 in February and has a mild heart defect and Down Syndrome. It is possible that her heart defect has healed, which is often the case with orphans checked at birth and then again years later. I will post more details of the fund raising as the opportunity solidifies. Thank you for remembering us and these beautiful children who have mistakenly been set on a shelf. Cathy